I need it to be me.
Date: Apr 14th, 2005 5:55:59 am - Subscribe
Mood: vibrant
What I'm hearing: "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
Just like always. I think I'm the most alone, most abandoned, most misunderstood being in the universe. Poof. I'm proven wrong. Somebody else does understand. Somebody else has the same problems. Somebody else with the world against them. That makes two of us. At least things are somewhat easier knowing you're not going through it alone.
Fast forward to the future. I see what I want. A large, spacious, old house. Not this mass produced, Spanish influenced, stucco-attacked nonsense. I want a home from a time where quality still meant something. I want a home filled with life, filled with pictures, filled with plants, filled with scents, filled with sounds. Laughter, music, dancing, cooking, fresh air. Two floors. Candles always burning. Friends always there. A guest room that looks lived in, because it will be. People will always be welcome, people will always be wanted. I'm not sure if I want to share it with somebody else, I can't predict the future. I want a huge yard, with a garden. Colors during the spring and summer. Muted during the fall and winter. I want my car in the driveway, but I want to be able to walk everywhere.. And a wrap around porch. Stained glass windows. Victorian chandeliers. Jesus Christ, I'm more old-fashioned than I thought. All this time I was trying to escape the life I was given, and instead of escaping it, I've simply moved it to the opposite coast. I think that is what is most significant. It won't be here. I need a fresh start. I need it to be me. Otherwise it'll never work.
Comments: (1)
miranda - April 14th, 2005 |
