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1st_escape
Undescribable. - Subscribe
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I'm embracing the sun. Or trying to. I've gotten a small taste as to the warmth that the world can offer me. And I can't get enough. The taste of endless possibilities fills my soul. I have been lifted to a place that I have not ever been to before. The words and the sounds flow off my tongue to form the sensual and exotic syllables of language. I can't shake this feeling and I don't want to. I feel consumed to only heighten my high, and that's exactly what I'm here for. God, I'm excited. But something still feels like it's missing. And I can pinpoint exactly what it is, yet I have no idea what it really is. I've come close to having it before, but that's ancient history. It didn't work then, but I want it to work now. I think actively looking for what I want only causes my desire to clout my judgement. I want substance to take precedence, even if that means waiting. This is all so new. I'm finally here, I've finally made it to a stage in life that I was starting to question if it even existed. |
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1st_escape
Her. Oct 30th, 2005 12:20:07 am - Subscribe
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| I want a girl that I can talk to. I want a girl who dresses up, who is beautiful, but isn't sure if she is. I want to be the one to tell her. I want a girl who cares about something. I want to care about her. I want a girl who wants to talk to me, and who is interested in what I have to say. I want to bring her home to my parents, and have them nod their heads in approval after dinner is over. I want her to be mysterious, so everyday is a new adventure. I want to be pushed to do things I've never done before. Fuck, I want the movies. I was close to having that before, but... it didn't work. I'll admit, I got hurt, and now I'm.... afraid? I don't know if that's the right word. Part of me is scared, scared of getting hurt again. I know that is a risk you have to take. But part of me just also doesn't want to waste my time on something that is.... frivolous. That's why I don't have somebody. I know I could, but I haven't really found someone I could fall for, not after what happened between me and... her. I wish all my "friends" would get off my back about that. I don't like to pour myself out to too many people, that has ended ugly for me in the past. I find the pen to be a more trusting confidant. Although, there is a girl whom the more I see, the more I want to see. I just hope I can pull myself together enough to not fuck it up. |