One More Attempt at the Last Time
Date: Feb 13th, 2008 1:19:40 am - Subscribe
What I'm hearing: Mariana's Trench
The smoke swirls around in front of my eyes.
I tell myself again, "this is the last time."
I have already planned the ceremonious act in my head. I have adapted the ritual from previous attempts. Trying to romanticize that which is killing me (Doesn't that sound familiar?).
These are the choices I have made. I know this in my mind, but do I really understand what it means? I am playing with my own time.
Maybe, just maybe, I like to be in control of something in my life, even if destroys me. I know you can't control that behavior in others.
On the path to acceptance. On the path to .... somewhere. I can't really see that far in the distance. Is the smoke, or the fear, or the denial blocking my view?
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