One More Attempt at the Last Time
Date: Feb 13th, 2008 1:19:40 am - Subscribe
Mood: manipulative
What I'm hearing: Mariana's Trench

The smoke swirls around in front of my eyes.

I tell myself again, "this is the last time."

I have already planned the ceremonious act in my head. I have adapted the ritual from previous attempts. Trying to romanticize that which is killing me (Doesn't that sound familiar?).

These are the choices I have made. I know this in my mind, but do I really understand what it means? I am playing with my own time.

Maybe, just maybe, I like to be in control of something in my life, even if destroys me. I know you can't control that behavior in others.

On the path to acceptance. On the path to .... somewhere. I can't really see that far in the distance. Is the smoke, or the fear, or the denial blocking my view?
Comments: (1)

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tron - February 16th, 2008
Hey I really love the way you write. I understand the temptation to control the thing you can count on to destroy you, to befriend it and make it something for you rather than against you.


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