1st_escapes Aeonity Blog

Breaking out of my box.

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 23:33:21 -0600

I don't like being forced into a box. Especially a box that I cannot create, that I cannot construct, that I cannot design. All of these things I use are fake. All of these things I buy are fake. None of them are what I am really looking for. What am I really looking for? I need to break out of here before I can finally see. My vision is b... Read More

Thank goodness I know how to swim

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 03:13:57 -0500

Too many things around me are changing. And this isn't turning out the way I planned. I'm not really sure why I am surprised by this. Things never really went to plan before, and it is not like I had a guarantee from God that He would go along with my notions this time. So, like every other time, I will have to go with flow. That is all I can do. S... Read More

Just to feel alive.

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 00:49:42 -0500

I walk by the corner market, basking in the California sun. When the smogs rolls through the sky, and mimics the feeling I have become. I watch the smoke trailing, from my cigarette, and look to God for the chance to forget. All these thoughts roll through my mind, breaking down the walls, I had built once upon a time. I had hoped to forge... Read More

One More Attempt at the Last Time

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:19:40 -0600

The smoke swirls around in front of my eyes. I tell myself again, "this is the last time." I have already planned the ceremonious act in my head. I have adapted the ritual from previous attempts. Trying to romanticize that which is killing me (Doesn't that sound familiar?). These are the choices I have made. I know this in my mind, but do ... Read More

Boggled by a Drop of Iron

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:25:44 -0600

Right now, flowing through my bloodstream, pulsing through my veins, there is but a single drop of iron. My body needs this. The iron flows through my heart, being pumped through my body. It flows through my mind, past the memories of years gone past, friendships gone stale, relationships destroyed. Still, this drop of iron flows. Bits of it, in my... Read More

Christmas is Coming (so are finals...)

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 03:00:31 -0600

The first quarter is winding down to a close. Finals are this week. How do I feel about my first quarter at college? Fantastic. Overall, that is. Sure, I'm stressed about finals this week, but I feel confident I'll do well. Tests were never that much of an obstacle for me, especially not in subjects that I'm interested in. I'm thrilled with the way... Read More

Her.

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 19:20:07 -0500

I want a girl that I can talk to. I want a girl who dresses up, who is beautiful, but isn't sure if she is. I want to be the one to tell her. I want a girl who cares about something. I want to care about her. I want a girl who wants to talk to me, and who is interested in what I have to say. I want to bring her home to my parents, and have them nod... Read More

Undescribable.

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:37:28 -0500

I'm embracing the sun. Or trying to. I've gotten a small taste as to the warmth that the world can offer me. And I can't get enough. The taste of endless possibilities fills my soul. I have been lifted to a place that I have not ever been to before. The words and the sounds flow off my tongue to form the sensual and exotic syllables of language. I ... Read More

And it begins...

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 01:27:39 -0500

So I'm starting my first year at college. I just moved in this weekend, and I'm pretty excited. I think dorm life is going to be fun. It's kind of weird not living at home anymore. Once you're used to something for your whole life, a sudden dramatic change is kind of weird. But I love it so far. Classes start this week. I want to start over. Better... Read More

I don\'t like to lie.

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 02:30:42 -0500

I don't understand. Why is it that I feel so compelled to lie? Would it be so bad to tell them the truth. Yes it would. I can't wait for the day when I'll have freedom, and not have to run everything by somebody. Bah! In the meantime, I have to do some damage control to make sure everyone has their story straight. Ugh, why is this difficult?... Read More