44caliber's Blog

Reality Check
Date: Dec 22nd, 2006 12:24:01 pm - Subscribe
Mood: powerless


I really need to start updating this thing. I keep forgetting about aeonity, sorry guys, livejournal has just been my usual journal. But I will continue to post if people actually read it..

Anyways. I'm in class now. It's our last day and winter break begins! I'm excited. I'm not going anywhere special but I've missed sleeping in, waking around 12, getting fully ready (the best I can look) and going out till as late as I want, not having to worry about a thing. That was probably a huge run-on, but who cares.

Last night was the oasis show with seven buried. He was suppose to show up but I guess he didn't or I just didn't see him. By the way, since I know none of my friends read this, when I say "He" I'm referring to my formal love, Joshua. The boy I'll probably never get over. And Mike is my actual boyfriend. And yes. He knows all about Josh. I felt like if he didn't I would be keeping something from him and since I'm an honest person I let him know right when we started dating. So no worries. I'm not THAT horrible, haha.

Well I was really looking forward to going last night, expecing him to be there, cause that's what my buddie Mark told me. It would have been a replay from the party last time, except this time I was planning on saying something for once. Or maybe a smile at least. I was so nervous before I showed up, and for no reason at all since he wasn't even there. Mike was though. He was kinda distant though. He might have been because he was sick but I don't know. Jane tagged along with me so that made me happy. Otherwise I think I would have been standing on my own.

Well come to find out one of my good ol friends, Emily, who I've known since 7th grade has a new life goin on. When I say that I mean, this whole year she's become distant with me, and now I finally know why. She's a crack head. She smokes speed every day and looks for empty cans everytime she runs out of money. I guess her parents found out that she gets high every day and they're taking her out of my high school. It's dissappointing. I guess she's become pretty addicted. She's shooting up and shit. It explains a lot now. The loss of weight she was getting, always wearing shades, and why everyone would ask me if she smoked. I always thought she wouldn't have because she was so against it. But I guess I was wrong. I wouldn't care much if she smoked bud, but speed...fuck...that's going to fuck up her life even more than what it's doing to her now. I've seen people die from that shit. I wouldn't touch it. I'm glad her parents caught her. She needs to get off that shit.

Man, so much is going on with people around me and all I can do is watch it happen. There's no stoping, there's no pause like a film, there's just the continued mistakes and regrets people make by the second. I know I've made mine.
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