Today
Date: Jan 30th, 2007 1:24:33 pm - Subscribe
Mood: cuddly
..I woke up and didn't feel like going to 2nd period. Mike had texted me saying he didn't feel well so he wasn't going to go and that class freaks me out being on my own. I knew that once my mom left it was my choice, so I skipped it and made myself some breakfast.
I started wakling and Mike calls to tell me he was going to school afterall and that he was leaving right now. He was pissed about going but his aunt made him since she didn’t know he had stayed home. He saw me walking and picked me up and I waited with him till the bell rang. Of course he was all moody and sick so it wasn't like we usually are. I actually rather would have been in class. So now I'm sitting here in my first class for the day. Lunch will be next and then just 3 more. Today will go by pretty fast, I can feel it.
Last night wasn't too good though. It was good and bad, I mean. Me and Josh had talked on AIM and for once we didn't argue. It was soo shocking but it felt good. We talked about video games, not no huge deep ass conversation but it was something. I don't think we've had a decent conversation since months back. Then later that night Mike called and I had told him I talked to him. I felt like if I didn't and he found out somehow then he would be mad at me, so I didn't want it to seem like I was hiding something from him. We got in an arguement this time, not me and Josh. He was yelling I don't wnat you to talk to him, but I honestly feel like he has no right to tell me who I can and can't talk to. He got soo pissed. He was barely talking to me and when he did it was one word responses in his grouchy voice. I said I lvoe you but I'm not going to stop talking to someone, I'm not going to ignore him. And he was like I don't see why it's so hard for you to forget him. He sounded hurt and it made me feel bad. I kept asking why he didn't want me talking to him, why it was such a big deal, but he kept telling me it didn't matter, that he was mad, and that I can do what I want. I finally got it out of him towards the end of our conversation though. He told me he was afraid of me and Josh to get close again..he was afraid to lose me..and right then and there my eyes got watery. It was the first time he actually showed me he cared enough about me like I care about him. I've been feeling so down without him since I can't see him so I kept getting the feeling he was losing interest. I felt loved then and there. I smiled and said I love you.
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