When you're too in love to let it go
Date: Nov 14th, 2006 11:23:54 am - Subscribe
Last night was hard.
Last night was heartbreak.
Last night was..well..
Me and Mike showed up at Erik's once Mike got out of work.
It was about 9:30 and us four (angela, joe, and us)stood by the gate that leads to the backyard. We were just standing and talking.
Then I saw a boy with long brown hair and a hoodie on..
he looked familiar..
I looked closely but he kept his head down..
the way he walked though caught my attention.
There's a certain way each person walks, and I knew that walk very well.
It was him. He was at the party.
Instantly, my eyes got watery, I pulled Angela with me, and walked away.
I swear to God, I couldn't believe I was crying just from the sight of him..but I was.
I sucked it all back in so Mike couldn't see.
We went in the back once we heard Mark testing the drums.
The whole night me and him would just stare at eachother.
I would when he wasn't looking.
And Angela said he would when I wasn't looking.
Sometimes our eyes would meet and I'd turn away.
It was so hard and I felt like shit.
It was my first time seeing him since I went to his house when Ashley and Janae took me.
That was like 2 months ago. Maybe more, I'm not sure.
Me and Angela had to pull away from the boys a couple times to talk.
Both of our "loves" were there. It was crazy.
But it was nice having someone be there with me through the night
knowing how I felt.
I couldn't help but look at him though.
The way his hair fell in his face and the way he smiled..
God, I missed him.
We didn't talk though..just stared from afar..
But he still looked at me the way he always did..
I still saw it in his eyes.
As it was in mine.
I'll never forget that.
We left early and I got home an hour early.
For some reason I knew something would change after seeing him..
so I just wanted to be home, put my headphones on, and think.
He texted me.
"U didn't say hi"
me-"I didn't think you'd want me to"
me-"Why didn't you?"
I don't know..
He still has my number and I thought he deleted me.
I guess that made me smile, even though it shouldn't have.
"Tell me you love me
come back and hold me"
Coldplay's songs explain my love life very well. haha
So that was night.
And now I can't stop thinking about it all..
Should I have said something?
Should I have just went right up to him?
I wanted to yell 'I love you, why can't you see that!'
I wanted to grab him and hug him and tell him he's still apart of me.
I wanted to..
The things I'm not allowed to think about.
The things I need to let go of.
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meip3ng - November 14th, 2006
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