7thbrain's Aeonity Blog Friend Page

My Friends: tinkerbell, lucyanne, perfect110, alixia
My Blogs Next Page

alixia Zurich 8.22am - Subscribe

The adaptor I got from Mustafa cheated me. So now I have a hairdrzer, laptop, phone, phone charger, speakers and camera which I cannot use.

Iäm in the hotel lobby now using their free access computer which looks rather ancient. The funny thing I realise about this kezbôard is that where the Y is normallz, is a Z. So if I were to saz something like this, it will look like that: Zour Yebra is verz zellow. Haha

I cant log into facebook for some reason, thez will ask me to register. Mazbe Iäm not a facebook citiyen in Zurich. I cant log into mz office emails, which I kind of dont mind considering what I found out zesterdaz.

Im off to Basel now, and I hope mz heels will not die on me (boththe soles of mz shoes came off on the first daz at the airport)

One thing I realised too is that there is not at (is it called at) sign onthe kezboard. the one zou put in zour email address. So i had to cut and paste from somewhere. Which caused the comp to shut down cuy i pressed somethign wrong

its strange here. zet im glad. later

0 Comments
Mood: rad

alixia too much reminiscing for 4am brought about this Jan 11th, 2010 8:34:00 am - Subscribe

That day, the saucers landed. Hundreds of them, golden, silent, coming down from the sky like great snowflakes. And the people of earth stood and stared as they descended, waiting, dry-mouth, to find what waited inside for us and none of us knowing if we would be here tomorrow
But you didn't notice it because

That day, the day the saucers came, by some coincidence, was the day that the graves gave up their dead and the zombies pushed up through soft earth, or erupted, shambling and dull-eyed, unstoppable, came towards us, the living, and we screamed and ran
But you didn't notice it because

On the saucer day, which was the zombie day, it was Ragnarok also, and the television screens showed us a ship built of dead-man's nails, a serpent, a wolf... all bigger than the mind could hold, and the cameraman could not get far enough away, and then the Gods came out
But you did not see them coming because

On the saucer-zombie-battling-gods day the floodgates broke. And each of us was engulfed by genies and sprites, offering us wishes and wonders and eternities and charm and cleverness and true brave hearts and pots of gold... while giants feefofummed across the land, and killer bees,
But you had no idea of this because

That day, the saucer day the zombie day, the Ragnarok and fairies day, the day the great winds came and snows... and the cities turned to crystals, the day all plants died, plastic dissolved, the day the computers turned, the screens telling us we would obey, the day.... Angels drunk and muddled, stumbled from the bars, and all the bells of London were sounded. The day animals spoke to us in Assyrian, the Yeti day, the fluttering capes and arrival of the time machine day,
But you didn't notice any of this because

you were sitting in your room, not doing anything,
not even reading, not really, just
looking at your telephone,
wondering if i was going to call.

0 Comments
Mood: brave

alixia Queen of chalices Oct 1st, 2009 9:29:03 am - Subscribe

I was opposite One Raffles Quay today and saw the most useless piece of news flashed out on the huge electronic board on the building. You would think that for a building which hosts big bank names like RBS, Credit Suisse, we'd be looking at more worldly news topics like war or politics or natural disasters right.

Instead, I was looking at a picture of a snail. And it read : "A snail was pictured in a snail garden, six miles away from the town of Pleven."

That was pretty funny.

As the night moved on, I started to see things. Because I've been getting so tired from all the late working nights, I seriously think i'm starting to hallucinate.

When I was eating dinner, I dropped something, and I thought I saw a shadow then.
When I was on the cab home, I thought I saw a lady in black at the bus stop, but she was actually a man. And when I drove past, it almost seemed like he glared at me.

And before I went to bed, I saw a picture. It was of a lady in a glorious looking dress. But she was blindfolded and chained to a withering tree. And all around her staked into the ground, were 8 swords. Then I realised I was just looking at a picture of myself.

That wasn't so funny.

0 Comments
Mood: bright

alixia a finger's snap Sep 24th, 2009 10:14:03 am - Subscribe

Tonight I read through thousands of words, exchanged years ago, months ago, weeks ago.

Nothing much of a breakthrough,but those words reminded me of a few things.

They remind me how I never learn when it comes to matters of the heart. I think I have, but I know I have not because everything else which I handled differently had nothing to do with my heart.

They remind me how much it stings when something you thought the world of, passes on like it was just a piece of trash.

They remind me that heartfelt words, are just words "felt".

They remind me how I lose the idea of loving when I know someone lost more than just the idea.

They remind me how I hate fast when I lose the idea.

They remind me of how sometimes I'm really just a 10 minute dream in a passenger seat. They remind me how for me, the idea of stars still live on even though they have been dead for years.

The words I read tonight, tell me that sometimes, they really mean nothing.

And sometimes, nothing mean everything.

1 Comments
Mood: seductive

alixia leaving the leave Sep 24th, 2009 7:23:17 am - Subscribe

The passing of 2 weeks of leave is around the bend. So wake me up when September ends.

As usual, as the freebies-grabbing sister, I got to see Lady Gaga in the flesh, who can play the keyboard acrobatically.

Friend: What's Am-ped?
Me: Dude, it's Amp-ed.

Which reminds me, my brother gave me an Am-ped Tshirt which has that very same design on it. And that "square bars" move up and down as it picks up sounds! I should wear that out one day.

I felt like I was attending a gala ball gown dinner at Mel Chin's wedding. Decorated by the Party Planner David Tutera himself.

In the cab:
Me: How much are you bao-ing for the wedding?
Grace: $150 lor. Shangrila leh
Me: True

As we walked into the ballroom:

Grace: Suddenly I don't think $150 is enough.

Some nice touches:
Live Jazz Band (versus "Wedding Songs" CD)
Minature dessert version of the wedding cake
Party bus (To post-party event)
Fortune cookies (What the hell just throw that in too as well right)

I took some unposed-photos of Yijun. I call it the "Korean Pop Star CD cover".

Dry ice floors and sci-fi trees even!

Kidding.

OBS for training programme.

Where each team had to build one portion of a minibridge, without any verbal communication mind you. I was the "Designer".

Lookit my "blueprint".

And sleep in tents. Which made us all grumpy the next morning. (And had to run 5km along East Coast and "reflect")

I actually rock climbed. Don't see me no up. To the 4th panel for 4 walls hor.

Penny sang me a really loud birthday song with a lava cake.

More trigger happy shots.

Pictures I took of HongKong (from a menu hehe)

Old school!

A pie store called Pie Kia.

And a 2 to 10pm spring cleaning of my room, which puts me to sleep, when September ends.

0 Comments
Mood: chilled

alixia tunnel vision inspiration Sep 5th, 2009 5:32:14 am - Subscribe

It's interesting how every person in this world is so fixed in his or her unique character, yet the behavior changes so ridiculously when placed in certain situations with different people different happenings.

If a fleeting moment, a passing memory, a cheating heart, a back-turning friend, a hated love, is a lie in itself, then isn't the human race a joke for doing all that?

Just one big fucking merry lie.

0 Comments
Mood: abandoned

alixia Monday! Aug 17th, 2009 7:08:52 am - Subscribe

I'm not sad. Really.

I have no real life or death problems which warrants a breakdown in the system. Maybe just a living or deadliness of going through the motions.

I hide behind the one-way street of my vision so I won't see more than that, or at myself.

I look back fondly at memories but won't share them lest they turn yellow from the sun.

I look forward but towards nothing that I can really put in detail.

I'm not sad. Really.

0 Comments
Mood: thrilled

alixia shine Aug 10th, 2009 9:14:15 am - Subscribe

A great lawn tree at Central Park spoke to me today.

It hated the cold but wouldn't have wanted to be elsewhere.

2 Comments
Mood: catty

alixia i hope you see this Aug 5th, 2009 8:01:36 am - Subscribe

Up to today, I had only remembered fragments of that night. It was a long night. I'm quite sure it was. But only remnants remain, as with everything that passes through the suction of time.

3 years later, and then tonight I remembered that it was pouring. That chased us to catch shelter on the 2nd floor of the building where we had our lectures. We sat at the big rectangular stone which served as a seating place for students. It had served as a meeting point for us to talk about everything under the sun, including worldly conversations which had made us feel seemingly grown-up and intellectual.

These seemingly grown-up and intellectual talks sometimes continued to topics like "Don't you think autustic people have this similar look about them".

I remembered both of us trying to keep a serious face. I remembered both of us keeping a close watch on each other, ready to catch the one who was going to lose the serious face first.

That night, we ran to the stone seat. I heard the patter of the rain.

I had started the conversation with "Helloo Dean".

I cringed, because I noticed that I was obviously dragging the "o" in "hello" too much. Probably because I had too much green liquid.

But he didn't seem to have noticed. He probably had too much green liquid too.

The conversation went like this.

Me: What's your secret?
Dean: hmm my secret?
Me: uh huh
Dean: I don't have a secret..
Me: Stand in the light stand in the light!

I got him to stand in the light.

Dean continued.

Dean: Ask me a question and I'll give you the answer.
Me: Okay! What's your deepest darkest secret?

At this juncture, I'm thinking to myself, what an idiot. I essentially had asked the same question.

Dean: I nearly kissed my cousin once

You couldn't tell from his voice when he said that, but on screen, he had this smug look. Not because he was proud of the secret, but it seemed more like he wanted to act like he really just did reveal his deepest darkest secret.

Me: Aw that's not new?! Come on..
Dean: That's now new huh..

As I swayed around trying to point the camera at him, he cupped his face ins his hands, as if he was really deep in thought and mumbled to himself "what's my secret what's my secret.."

Dean opened his hands and looked back at the camera.

Dean: I'm afraid of heights?

For a while, there was a pause.

And then there was me again.

Me: Okay...that's acceptable!

It was really a hazy night. Our conversations couldn't have been more idiotic.

But it had been exclusively ours. And now it is exclusively mine.

As time passes, and memories fade away, everything else in life becomes more and more exclusive.

Exclusivity is special. Exclusivity is lonely.

1 Comments
Mood: medicated

alixia the sin Aug 5th, 2009 6:35:09 am - Subscribe

I
resent you, you
and you.
for all the things you,
you and
you
have done,
and you, you and
you,
have not done.

0 Comments
Mood: lousy

alixia the banana split Jul 26th, 2009 7:03:32 am - Subscribe

1 Comments
Mood: old

alixia neatened. and straightened up Jul 21st, 2009 4:25:44 am - Subscribe

It was a weak attempt to say the least.

At that very moment, beyond the new haircut and loss of weight which I picked up on first, I also saw his refusal to admit.

As I started stumbling around the stone table, I realised that I was also threading on thin ice. But it felt fun anyway. So I went along.

The day after, I woke up to realise that some times things are really what you think about at the back of your head, and the things you pick up easily, are not.

I have decided that rather than calling a spade a spade. I'll call it a non-spade.

Because everything always seems to be, but never is. And that is a constant. Everything is, but is not.

I didn't even have to finish the book to figure that out.

0 Comments
Mood: horrible

alixia natural saline Jul 18th, 2009 3:22:12 am - Subscribe

I thought the first feeling would be devastation and indignation, but maybe it's a lethal combination, hence I'm just stunned.
There'd be stars around my head, if life was a cartoon.

If I looked back at this like how I did for things which happened 10 years ago, it would warrant a laugh. One of those dry and wry laughs. Nothing hilarious about this now, but knowing you'd one day feel detached from something you feel so strongly for now always feels weird.

Hence, a dry wry laugh. Doesn't seem to be coming.

Sometimes I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm conscious of it but never conscious of it if it means acknowledging errors. I try my best to not hate myself for the things I can't be fucked with. Sorry, but am I really any different.

Then times like this when even I myself can't bear the self-imposed complexity of it all, I drop my weapon and put my hands up in the air. I think I won't get shot if I just drop it all, everything, and surrender.

Complete surrender.

Then I look up, and no one's there. No sirens. No good cops. No bad cops. No cops. No bright light shining in my face. No voice booming through a megaphone telling me to keep them in the air.

Just silence. And pretty much nothing. Just one last-standing question burning in my head.

What am I saving myself from?

0 Comments
Mood: insane

alixia its just business Jul 1st, 2009 7:24:17 am - Subscribe

There is this glorious moment
A moment of being rewarded
For all the effort you put in
With all the energy but
Without the heart

There is this fleeting moment
A moment which catches a sweet taste
Of a dream come true
Reaching touching hearing
Everything your inner child desired
With no effort
With all the heart

Beauty comes with ugly
Love comes with hate
Life comes with death
And it all actually makes sense

But I forget

0 Comments
Mood: distracted

alixia dark blue shine Jun 21st, 2009 2:41:02 pm - Subscribe

She drags her feet.
Wears her cap.
Drapes her shoulders.
Looks down.
To feel protected.

Nonetheless
She walks.
She speaks.
She stands upright.
Looks up.
To feel protected.

0 Comments
Mood: speechless

alixia heavy lids Jun 3rd, 2009 7:14:38 am - Subscribe

When all you thought would help redeem yourself surrounds you.

When all you thought you really wanted falls out of your mind.

When all you thought would be, doesn't happen.

You keep quiet. Then you doze off.

1 Comments
Mood: passionate

alixia Post The Most Lost Cost May 24th, 2009 8:04:12 pm - Subscribe

The video of today, as put by my dear Marina, is "suicidal but she makes it look cool":

Mommy, can I go out and kill tonight?
I feel, I feel like taking a life.
Please, I wanna seal the kitchen knife
and feel, feel like taking a life.

Rippin kittin kidding on the round

Daddy, can I go and haunt tonight
like you do on Sunday mornings.
Honey, give me a real gentle knife
to feel, feel like taking my life.

Rippin kittin kidding on the round

Mommy, daddy, please let me go

--------

Rippin kittin kidding on the round sounds catchy. I shall incorporate it into my conversations.

0 Comments
Mood: unhealthy

alixia Headspace May 24th, 2009 3:01:52 pm - Subscribe

Hey you, where is your head
In that suitcase
That you carry around
In that baggage you can't put down

Hey you, where are your eyes
Seems like you seek only where you
Wander to but
You walk into something
As if you're blind

Hey you, where are your hands
In your pocket like they are
Cold yet
In my hands they only unfold

Hey you, it's getting late
Hurry and say now
Where is your heart
Residing perhaps in

A Roomful of Blues
A room full of smoke
A heat of passion of
Which no one spoke

A familiar freeway
A house of planes
A pounding room
With pretty dames

Hey you, it's getting late
Hurry and say now just
A food for thought
Residing perhaps
And then

Perhaps not

0 Comments
Mood: crafty

alixia arms you picture me in May 20th, 2009 8:22:33 am - Subscribe

One day I could tell how much a man loved his heart, when I asked him: "How do you get not feel destroyed when something you loved for so long goes away?"

And he said: "Because I'll still love myself"

One day I could tell how much a man didn't love his girl, when I asked him: "Where is your heart?"

And he replied: "With her in name."

One day I could tell how much a girl loved only one when everyone else thought she dloved too easily, when I asked her: "Why that name for your password?"

And she replied, "Oh, that's just my brother's name."

One day I could tell how much a girl loved her guy, when I asked "Why do you go back just to run away again?"

And she said: "Because I still can."

One day I asked myself: "How much?"

And I couldn't reply.

0 Comments
Mood: inventive

alixia time of the month is the story of my life May 12th, 2009 8:19:45 am - Subscribe

I cannot tell.
Why I can't sleep.
I lie in bed.
My chest feels tight.
I sob a little.
That feels better.
I lie in bed.
Why I can't sleep.
I cannot tell.

1 Comments
Mood: bizarre