_guilty_'s Blog

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Date: Aug 10th, 2006 3:00:54 am - Subscribe
Mood: pissed off
book currently reading, music: stillll I know this much is true(almost finished tho)

I'm pissed off and I really have no idea why.


hahahahahahahaha



I'm freaking psycho



yay



And I just want to say something that might actually make sense.
Have you ever trusted someone so much you wanted to tell them every single thing about you...all your flaws, every stupid thing you've said or done in your lifetime, but been too afraid of what they'll think? Maybe that's not trust at all...Maybe it's the desire to trust, with that old fear still lurking in the shadows.
Could you tell someone about your stupid, immature actions, the stuff you're still ashamed of and can't talk about even with your best friend, when you care so much about their opinion of you, and you're scared that they'll think you're...a whore, or something?
Maybe I need a little bit of a show of...unconditional love...before I can show so much trust in return. I don't know.

Ever feel like you just need to completely dissect yourself? Examine and reexamine every emotion you've ever felt and exactly what caused you to feel it? Sometimes I get that way. I get that way with other people too; I examine them, get all psychological. But I don't tell them about it...it'sjust kind of a private thing I do. Why do I write such long, pointless entries?
eh, I guess it's part of the whole dissection process or whatever. But it's not turning out too well. I write way too much.
Comments: (1)

aleaffalls - August 12th, 2006 Wow, that first part is.. so.... me. My God, it's like you jumped into my head and read my mind or something, because that is exactly how I am. There is so much I want to tell my closest friends, so much internal conflict within me that I have to talk to someone about it, but I never do, because if I talk about what's bothering me, I would have to tell them the whole story, and the whole story would change their opinions of me. And I'm afraid that they'll shun me or something, not be my friends anymore. And that in itself scares me so much. But then how can I consider them a best friend if I can't confide everything to them, right? If that's what you're saying, then we are so much alike. Because yeah, that is me.

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