yawwn
Date: Aug 4th, 2006 3:10:57 pm - Subscribe
Mood: zoned
what am I doing here again?
well
I woke up feeling weird
and a little dirty
so i took a walk
now i feel weird
dirty
and sweaty
and i can't type
i am sick of teenagers
which makes me a little bit of a hypocrite
and maybe a little precocious
oh well
I found a website for a modeling thing
so yeah
i figure i'll send in the application thing
eventually
maybe going to get my learner's (finally) today
waiting anxiously for an email
from the one person that matters 
because then i think i'll be able to shake this really weird feeling i have
i don't know what it is
and i can only trace it back to some things i thought about yesterday
which is weird
well
i don't know
this isn't making any sense
i used my new bathroom for the first time yesterday 
i'm trying to figure out what i'm going to do for my "sweet sixteen"
even though it's a few months away...
but whatever
maybe it's good that i'm starting to think about it so early
because i have absolutely no clue what i'm going to do
if i end up doing anything
it would be so freaking awesome if there was an Evanescence concert on my birthday...the cds coming out in october, so they'd probably be on tour for it.
even though my birthday's actually on a thursday, which is a school night...but my mom already said if there was an ev concert that night i could probably go
well
if it's close by
DC or something
jajajajajajajaja
i want to learn german
and arabic
which i'm working on
and spanish
which i'm also working on
and french
which i kind of worked on a little
and finnish
and um
everything else
ook
yeah
well
and i want to go skinny dipping
which i will
sometime this summer
if all works out as it should
and also
bellydancing classes
and a trip to the friendly town psychic
yes
breakfast would be nice too
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i feel
Date: Aug 4th, 2006 1:04:37 am - Subscribe
Mood: shaken
book currently reading, music: I Know This Much is True
like shit
are you allowed to say that on here?
lol
whatever
i like this poem
do you?
there are pains worse than what you did
-we did-
decisions made and feelings kept isolated
the fiery burn inside me-
our pleasure and our pain
kept outside and impersonal
but i still feel this shame...
you put me through this
i caused it all
no one to blame
we're both at fault
for what you did
what we did
decisions made and feelings
kept isolated
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Here to Complain
Date: Aug 2nd, 2006 2:55:29 am - Subscribe
Mood: talkative
book currently reading, music: I Know This Much is True, by Wally Lamb
So. I created this because I needed something private again. And I wanted something none of my friends had heard of or used...heh
And of course, the only real reason I need this is to complain and get all those teenage insecurities and all that crap out of my system.
So let's get started, shall we?
I'm starting to get really pissed that my mom is still so set against Jason. I really like this guy. I guess I can understand why she's a little freaked...I mean it's only an age difference of 7 years, which isn't really that big, but I guess it's because I'm 15 and her "baby girl" to boot. But the sad part is, she doesn't even know how old he is yet. And the way she's acting about this, I don't know how she can expect me to tell her. I'm worried that she won't let him come to visit when he finally gets off that boat...
Can't she see that I really like this guy? Besides, my dad and she were like 15 years apart, so how can she be so...hypocritical..? But I don't mention that to her, since my dad is kind of taboo for me. Since he's dead and all. Probably don't need to elaborate on that, since I won't be telling anybody about this blog. But who knows, maybe some poor soul will stumble across it and somehow get sucked into reading it.
heh
Anyway
I think that's all
For now, at least...
Comments: (1)