Last entry continued.
Date: Nov 11th, 2008 5:11:21 pm - Subscribe
I totally wanted to write the last entry for much longer than I did I just had to start paying attention in class (yes I was writing when I was suppose to be avidly listening to my college instructor, so what!?) so now that I am out of class, why not keep writing.
To expand on the feeling exluded and distant from my other, it just happened again. Before I came here to the library to use the computer I went to see Cersten after class. She works at the scene shop for the schools theatre department so I knew she would be there. We also drove here together so I kinda needed to know where she would be when I get out of my next class that starts 2 hours from now (a hefty amount of time to waste), reasonable reasons to see her right?
Just wanted to say hi and ask her when the rehearsal for the show would be done tonight (since she is also props manager for the show run throughs) so we could make our departure a bit easier. First words I get from her is "you shouldn't be here right now" Why? I dont know! I go there every tuesday after class to say hi and catch up with her for a nice 5-10 minutes and none of her coworkers or bosses even care, so uh, whats the problem. I barely get two words in edgewise without her looking away. I had to tell her what I wanted and then say it extremely adamintly before she even started giving me the time of day. Hell I didn't even get a kiss because of her excuse (while blowing up balloons) "my lips tatse like latex" what the fuck is that! (sorry for my language). I don't get it.
Anyone with any sort of logical brain would take this sort of thing and say to themselves "what did I do wrong?". I've thought it over quite intensly and I have come to the conclusion that I have done nothing wrong nor anything that could even be closely construed with 'wrong'. Like I said before I really hope this is just and adjusting phase she is going through because I won't care to handle it if its gonna be like this for good.
Oh yeah! Of course when I talk to her about the way I feel about this she basically says that she doesn't feel like there is anything wrong with our relationship and that it's going well... I don't get that... UGH! Whatever, really. I will just go on with life right now while focusing on the other things in it that are also important...
Wish me luck.
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