[Throw Strategy out the Window~~]

Dec 29th, 2007 4:59:02 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Existence~~

I cant help but wonder how alone we really are in this world.... We have family and friends that know our existence, but.... I cant say that I even know myself very well, let alone have anyone else completely understand me! So, there really isn't a so called 'soulmate' waiting for us, as we don't even know ourselves well enough on how to find one!

Therefore, is it fate that brings 2 people together? Seeing as we don't really know where to look or who we are looking for. Do we really have a choice on who we're looking for.... or is love suppose to be a whole new surprise anyway? Would we call it love if it was all planned out?

I could call myself a bit of a hermit, most of the time preferring to stay in rather then going out..... so, how am I ever suppose to meet someone that I think I can share my life with? Well, as I said, it's fate...... A friend of a very, very good friend of mine asked me some questions about where I live at the moment, as her friend was coming over to work here. I was looking for somewhere to live at the time and conveniently asked my friend to ask him whether he wanted a flatmate. And then the rest is quite simple...... so.... is it really fate? Do we really make our choices or........ are we chosen to make those choices? haha... silly I know.....
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[Searching for Something thats all Mine~]

Aug 19th, 2007 12:08:32 pm - Subscribe
Mood: pretentious happiness~

It's hard being alone, isn't it? The illusivness of walking into a house or even a room where you are so completely and utterly alone scares me sometimes. You see faces... but how many of those can we really discifer as real and identifiable?

When did loving someone turn into avoiding them? Why avoid me? You think avoiding me will make my feelings go away or do you think that it would help the situation? I can only say that it makes me think about you even more..... I know all too well that nothing can come out of this.... Could we really be friends... were we ever just friends? I believe the answer to that is no. When affectiion is not returned it is the most painful thing.... but... what if it is returned and you just can't do anything about it?
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Lets meet in the Past~

May 22nd, 2007 4:13:45 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Beautiful Lie~

How do you take back what you've already given out? I suppose, you could forget that you've ever given it out in the first place.... act as if nothing has happened! But is there any other way?

Is there really any point of me wrecking his life? I've postponed my trip again.. can't really think at the moment... wishing that you would choose for me! haha.. as if it's that easy! I just want you to come to me, even tell me to come to you..... please... be selfish for once~~
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Unrealistic Request~~

May 12th, 2007 5:58:39 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Hoping for too much~~

It's been a while since I last said something here...... I suppose, this place has too many painful memories.

I wish I could be more proactive sometimes on the whole relationship front... or I could be a bit prettier! haha.... I wonder why I ever needed to meet him.. this very cute and handsome audit guy that has come to the company to audit our accounts! He's so cute that I could stare at him all day long... but why can't I make the first move?

I wish I could just throw away inhibitions and just go for it... and not care whether he says yes or no! Then I know that we're all scared of rejection... I know I know, rejection makes you a stronger person. Well, not when your wounds are still so fresh I guess.

So here... on this blog I make a wish.... *wish that Jin would make the first move.... you've only got until Monday to do so!* haha....
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[Patterns]

Dec 16th, 2006 9:28:12 am - Subscribe
Mood: done

I was with my colleague the other day driving to work, when I noticed a funeral car drive by. That day, happened to be my birthday; I made a comment, 'I can't believe this!! I always see things like this on my birthday!' He laughed....... and said...... 'You're like that... aren't you?' I was wondering what he was laughing at, and asked him what I'm like. He said, 'You just notice patterns! You're so tuned into fate.' I recoiled and said no.... but couldn't help but wonder if he was right or not.

My ex once said... we all have a pattern, we just need to find that pattern, that's all. I apparently now have been verified with a pattern... that I believe in fate.

I can't decide whether its a good or a bad thing! In believing in fate, I should also believe in consequence.... meaning, that if you do something; somewhere along the line, it will come back and bite you on the butt!! However, believing in fate means that I am at peace to what life gives me.... that I accept whatever happens is meant to be and that I shouldn't query it! Is this right? Am I like this?
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