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I haven't walked a mile in your shoes; I can't say that you are right or wrong, but all I can say is, is that I have no intention in changing you. I know you are special and different, I know that you love your sister and your brother very much. All that I meant was that I would never be able to take her place, and that I know she is important to you. I knew... or had an incling that you found my blog and everything that I've written. I knew that you were angry with me in some way. I know that I might have misunderstood you in some situations, just like you would have misunderstood me in certain ways as well. I want to tell you that from the outset I intended my blog to be completely private and only for myself; the intention that someone might read my blog wasn't why I created it. The reason that I created the blog itself is because I don't want to bring every little thing that breaks the circuit of our relationship to the surface. I know... that if you read the words carefully, you will find that I have not tried to corrupt anyones reputation or love for anyone else; all I am doing is creating an outlet point for myself, as I don't believe that it can be healthy if I take every little thing out on you... and likewise for me as well. I'm not asking for your forgivness, as I know that certain things can not be reversed. All I can say is... is that I'm sorry for misunderstanding you, but I did not judge you! I love you so much, and want us to be together, and for me to live a simple, normal, happy life with you. Where I can cook a little, and you can do your creative work, and we go to the supermarket together for shopping. Walk in the streets hand in hand, watch films on the sofa together. ~~~~~~~~*WISH*~~~~~~~~ The fact is... how many wishes come true? |
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Shockingly, this is too coincidental... how can we both make the same decision at the same time and week. A friend told me today that he wanted to seperate with his long term girlfriend that he's been with for around 4-5 years now. This I found a shock! When asked why, he was a little hesitant to tell me. After much probing, he finally cracked and said that he wanted seperation because she was asking for marriage and he said that he couldn't give that to her right now! He said that he might never want to get married (in other words, he doesn't know whether he will ever want too get married again). After MUCH more probing... he said... that she wasn't angered by this at all (which shocked me even more)!! BUT... he was the one that thought that all this is TOO unfair for her. He doesn't want her to give up her happiness and youth for someone who will never give her the future that she wants! And you know what...... IS THIS A SELFLESS OR SELFISH ACT? She very clearly said to him that she still wanted to see him.... but he wont see her because he doesn't want to be unfair to her! BUT HOW FAIR IS THAT? Does right or wrong enter into the equation of Love? I feel so hurt that you have misunderstood me for who I am, and that.... it seems as though that the love we had as been drained from the core. But there's no remorse on the words 'FAIR' or 'UNFAIR'.... there is just Regret and No Regret's. |
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I completely understand that affection doesn't need to surface every single second and minute of the day. I know that true love lies within the heart. I know that there is different types of love for different people. I am not particularly strong in any way shape or form; I can't hold back tears. People say that they feel better when they cry it all out, but... I feel worse. I feel that if I have cried this means that I think that there is nothing more I can do about the situation and that this is a hopeless battle and case that I can no longer control. Which sometimes, I do feel. I know you cry a lot... and this makes me feel sad too. But I have also learnt that your tears spread wider than your own soul. You are truely meant to be the chosen one. |
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I got a reading ages ago (one of those pyschics that say they're intuned with the spirit world); he said he could tune into the spirit world, but not only that... he was going to be intuned with one of my relatives. I'm Chinese, which means that I was naturally brought up to believe in 'fate' and 'destiny'; in which is quite prominent in our culture. To a certain extent, I believe that there are paths that you can decide. I'll always remember what my mum once said to me, '..... looking back at my life.... all that has happened seems to be fixed.' She had such a glaze over her eyes when she said this to me... and then I realised, it wasn't fate that took over... it was despair. Does Fate give up on you? Is Fate our friend or our enemy? If Fate could take a form, what would it look or feel like? A gust of wind? The scent of roses? If Fate could take any form.... I don't know what it would choose to be, but I definitely know, that fate would not take the form of a human! |
| Why is your sky so black? What do you see ahead of you? Pushing you out of my mind seems impossible.... I feel so sad that you seem to see no future at all. I wish there was something I could do to make everything seem better.... to make you feel less lonely! These tears.... cant stop falling. I read your blog... |