at school again
Date: Aug 29th, 2007 3:58:56 pm - Subscribe
Mood: blonde
today i wore a contraption to keep my tummy and thighs in.it si only 2nd hr. and i want to leve.i have a christian meeting today at lunch so i told mum that i would eat at the school.
i wont...
i can't offord to eat, not with the way i am right now, i went to the docs and they told me i am 132.. EW so i need to get that down to 120 fassst. swimming will be starting up. on monday
so i will get in shape then. and watch my thighs turn into pencils!! YEY! i want to be perfect.
i am just going to start sicking more and working harder at PE i think we may runa full mile today! so ill runn the whole thing.
i am nervouse to dress out today..because i have a suckie inie thing on and people wil know what its for.. so mabey i'll just shange in the bathroom.. i can puke there too..
to be honest.. i hate purging. i do. and most the time i dont do it, i just doont eat.but i need to puke if i consume anything,for i fear that my body may consume me. and i connot let that happen. i hate being 132 and hate being 5'5".
people tell me that is a normal weight..
no.. it is to fat.
EW
and i am so lonely, i want a boy. i want someone to cuddle and to hug and kiss......
tobad there is no one here.
and everyone went off to college.. damnit.
yes so today i have that meeting
i think it will be verry fun!
i need to get involved with christians more
and meet
new people in my school, i am kind of nervouse about who shows up. none of MY frineds will be there.. ahahha that is for sure! haha
man.. i really want to move out..
i need to get my permitt to.. that way, i can leave ..or put my food in my car in a garbage bag and throw it out somewhere.so i dont have to eat it!! yea ill do that, and join a club at night , so i cant be home for dinners.! wow! that'd be incredible!
well i'd better do my work.. so i have to go..
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