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aleaffalls
You broke down my wall, but left me standing in its rubbles - Subscribe
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Him: I guess you mean more to me than I admit. Her: Thanks. I guess… Him: You guess Her: Yeah, I mean, the way you said it, it just makes me think that you don’t want me to mean as much as I do to you Him: Well… you aren’t suppose to mean a lot, cause we’re just using each other. Her: Haha, oh yeah. If you look at her face, you’ll see that nothing’s wrong. She's smiling, her eyes are twinkling, she seems happy. The comment seems to not have affected her at all. She brushes it off and moves on with her life, but if only that is true for her on the inside. Beneath her happy and unscathed exterior, her heart is shattering, her mind is racing, her blood is boiling, and her tears are flowing internally, trying very much not to fall from her eyes. “God! How could I be so stupid as to actually believe it when he said he loved me!?” He broke down her shield and is now standing by idly as he watches the one thing she was trying so hard to protect falls to pieces. The worst thing? He has absolutely NO clue. His words took her to a euphoric high, but now she’s falling fast. The pull of gravity is too strong and she is heading straight for the ground, ready to crash into it. His voice rings in her ears, striking a deathly 13. Thinking back, she now knows why she refrained from saying what she so desperately wanted to say. If the words were never spoken out loud, then no one can remind her of the truth. She can simply deny that fact, that one little fact, and no one can correct her on it. Block it out - it never happened, she never felt that way, she never liked him as anything more than what they were, and she absolutely did not, not even for a second, think that she might have loved him. It didn't happen, but yet it did. And now she is slowly and discretely trying to patch up her heart, making sure that no one can see past her carefree façade. |
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aleaffalls
Sad... Feb 23rd, 2006 5:41:50 am - Subscribe
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| I've never considered myself that pretty but I thought that maybe my compassion and sincerity would compensate for my lack of beauty. That's always been my beacon of hope that's kept me worry free, but it's a pretty devastating blow to my self-esteem when a stranger walking down the hall turns around and says, out loud, "Damn, she's kinda ugly!" So much for 'inner beauty surpasses all.' |
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aleaffalls
Hate. Feb 28th, 2006 3:37:26 am - Subscribe
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I hate how I've grown so dependent on you. I hate how my happiness depends on your pressence. I hate how every free second I have, I wish I was spending it with you. I hate the fact that I like you. I hate how, because of you, my mind is in a state of utter chaos. I hate that you don't even know you're the reason for it. I hate the concept of "friends with benefits." I hate the fact that that's all I am to you. I hate her for liking you. I hate you for liking her. I hate you guys for refusing to get together so that I can finally move on from this. I hate the fact that she's too nice and sweet to hate. I hate feeling this way. I hate how safe and confortable I feel in your arms. I hate how vulnerable I am around you. I hate the fact that you're the only one I've been able to let pass my wall. I hate how you're oblivious to it all. I hate how you win every arguement we have. I hate how you're so kind and considerate. I hate your penetrating airy laugh, And I especially hate how it brings warmth to my heart. Most of all, I hate you for not feeling the same way I do.... |