Patience, my dear child, is a virtue.
Date: Aug 7th, 2008 6:03:28 am - Subscribe
Mood: terrible
I hate waiting.
Well, no, I hate waiting with uncertainty. I hate waiting for someone to come and pick me up (or just to get here) without giving me a specific time. I hate waiting in ridiculously long lines not knowing how long it will take or how many more minutes or hours until I can go home and relax. I hate waiting to see how I did on a test.
I hate that feeling of anxiety -- of uncertainty. Of not knowing; not knowing if everything is or will be alright or not. The suspense is draining and often leaves me feeling empty and needing something.someone concrete. "Maybe if I can just touch someone, be in their embrace, maybe it'll go away. Maybe they'll keep me grounded and I won't feel helpless not knowing. Maybe they'll wait with me."
---The world is full of wait. We're constantly waiting. Waiting for a new day. The next semester. A new year. Another chance. A fresh start. It's impossible to escape the web of Wait. Since birth, we've been caught in it and it has done its job and we are surrounded by Wait.---
And I wait. I wait for my anchor. The object that will keep me from being caught in the undertow and pull me out to sea. I wait with uncertainty, not knowing when it will ever come and provide me with security, or if it will come at all. i wait.
will you ever come? will You change your mind?
I don't know how long I can hold on. You were right, it is hard to wait for something that you know may never happen. Especially if it's everything you've ever wanted.
But if it IS everything you want, it's worth the wait, right? Even if it may not happen? But who knows? It could. Waiting is a process built of uncertainty. And uncertainty means that there's a chance.
And a chance means a future.
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