She died of a broken heart
Date: Apr 12th, 2006 4:15:46 am - Subscribe
Mood: neglected
: Reach out to me baby just this once...
It was a clear spring Wednesday, about 6 months ago.
She came home, it had been almost a month of being 14 and 3 days since she figured out how she was going to use her life. She hoped onto MSN and said a quick 'hello' to everyone that was on.
There was only about 3 people who replied back, her "sister", her "brother" and a new person that she added, he was someone who had found out what he wanted to do with his life ages ago, she just wanted to know what he was involved with and discuss some issuses and ideas with him.
They started talking, something felt so right, the late spring sun through the window, the crisp breeze, the smell of choclate chip cookies.
AH COOKIES. she rushed to the kitchen, she had once again burnt them.
She got back on and they continued talking. They talked for hours on the first night, she was happy. He was interesting.
A couple of days past and she started feeling something for him, not sure what it was or what she was meant to do with it, that friday he asked her out, she said yes, but didnt take it seriously.
The next Tuesday, she was alone at school, she wrote a couple of things about him, mainly out of bordem, but she still has those scarps of papers. That night she had to go over to her family friends place, its was the 1st on November. She was restless, she needed to get back home and talk to him, he was the other half of her.
That night at 10.30 she got onto the computer, a few mintues later he came on, they both talked and he made it clear that he really did ask her out. She was happy. He was perfect.
Weeks past. She started to stop feeling whatever she felt. She wanted to end it all but something stopped her. Whether it was her pride, her heart or her stupidity, with her who could be sure?
A couple of months past, there was plans for a future together, there were promises that were promised to not to broken. He was always going to be there and she was always going to be his.
A day came, when her world just fell to pieces, he had been lying to her all this time, she was not so much devasted as she was happy. She knew something was up, she just couldnt place her finger on it. She was right. Baby wasnt hers after all.
They let go of it all and started clean agaiu.
He was off at camp and she was off making out with someone else. But it was fine, because together they got through whatever there was.
This was it. She was falling. A bit to hard and a bit to fast. He had to be hers, not because she wanted him but because she needed him to be.
It was all going according to plan, until her 'friends' entered the picture. Somethig just didnt feel right....
She began to suspect something was up again, she wasnt sure what but her gut had never proved her wrong, she got worried, she stepped into depression, questioning herself all along "Is there something wrong with me?" "Am I not good enough"
She asked for a couple of days off, she found out her answer.
No it wasnt her.
Yes she was good enough, if not she was better.
Her friend told her everything. He was never hers at all. She said lets end it and he celebrated. They had been putting it off for fffaarrr to long. Maybe it was time.
That night she cried, she cried because she could.
Her best friend had just walked out the door.....
The next day, she got up, bright and early. "Baby today is the day I am going to start to live again" She said. And she did. She had a good time with friends, she she started to appreicate how wonderful they really were, she started to see the little things again, she stood and took a breath, something she hadnt done in ages.
The day after that hurt. She didnt have the strength to get out of bed, she spent a day in bed thinking about her perfect place.
She turned to despair and was about to break again, she then remebered a conversation that she had had with her hero, "they are too young, its too early to care about thing, who knows when the right person will come, mine didnt come till today and they should be focusing on their school work 
" He was a charmer, somehow hes naive childish advice made her smile.
Really it wasnt about it all. It was about she was. She wasnt going to settle for just anyone. She was too young to see the right guy if he walked on by and she was too mature to do what people her age were doing.
The day after that, she smiled, she was fine as long as nothing about him was mentioned but something always reminded her of him. She tried to stop her thoughts from wandering into a place that could have been. She wrote a few poems and let it out.
Her dad knows 
He asked her while they are out getting videos
"A boy?"
"No"
"No?"
"Yes, jerk moron asshole"
"Why do you care then"
"I dunno, I guess I realli did like him, I know I know you have told me too many times to watch myself but I guess I had to let go someday, broke me heart"
"He wasnt worth it then"
Just then her best friend entered the store.
He hugged and gave her a peck on the cheek
"You'll get over it" he whispered softly in her ear.
He didnt know what was wrong and she didnt feel good about telling him anything, they had a lovely relationship, he didnt know what was going on, all he knew was that he had to hug her and tell her she'll pull thru whenever she seemed upset and she loved it.
Her dad asked her
"Why dont you like him?"
"I dont like him, I love him, hes my bestest m8"
"But you'd never go out with him?"
"I dont want to ruin the friendship and plus we are too different"
"Or is it coz hes not a jerk? not an asshole? not a moron? is he coz you trust him with you life? and he'd cry if something happened to you?"
She didnt have an answer for that...
And there she was, with a big smile on her face. With her heart in a mess. With her hair everywhere. She was fine. Right back to where she started from.
Exactly 6 months ago, she met him, and now shes gotta let him go.
With a dorky joke, with a little wave, with a huge rock on her heart, she has to say goodbye....
Today she dies of a broken heart.....
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