Date: Dec 9th, 2009 6:17:56 am - Subscribe
Mood: pained

Well all I know is that I feel empty without you. I know I will have to win your heart and your love back and will do whatever's necessary to do so, and to improve myself so I can be the man u want and deserve. My confidence problems go back awhile-I was never in the "in" crowd at school and frequently the butt of some cruel jokes. Oh sure I had my own lil circle of friends, still do, and I had a few female friends but nothing serious. I learned over the years to withdraw into myself, my shell if u will, and to retreat from people and my problems. It worked for awhile-I figured if I didn't expose myself or say anything nothing would happen and i'd be ok. I now know that is false and my confidence issues will only get worse over time. I just don't have any faith in myself-I'm weak willed and wishy washy and I just don't trust myself and as a result other people too easily. If u've been told u won't amount to anything, you're ugly and stuff, u start believeing it. The thing with Michelle certainly didn't help either-it bought back all those old feelings again, in full force-feeling I thought I had repressed successfully, and it wound up costing me, however temporarily, the one precious thing in my life I hold dear-you.
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