Birthday Surprise
Date: Apr 10th, 2005 6:12:19 pm - Subscribe

He texted message me. Still calling me babes. I feel so guilty for being in someone's else arms right now. My heart bleeds thinking about how he would feel if he was here. I can't look at him in the same way anymore. How I wish the past can be replayed once more. Just once. I would not have let him go. Leave me and the baby here. But there's nothing I can do now. I'm no longer his anymore. We're on opposite sides of the globe. However, I still believe our hearts are still tied together. No matter who I'm with. No matter how long the wait. No matter what it takes. I'll try my best to store this everlasting love within but now, all I need is a shoulder to lean on. I'm sorry.

My mind is set. I'm going to move on with life but still wait for him. This isn't fair for Adrian, I know. Let's see what happens with us, if things turn out right then maybe my idealism would fade. Now the baby part, I'm still deciding. I know I shouldn't. It's bad for me, especially knowing that my health isn't getting any better. Plus, I've been drinking. But I know how much he would love to have this baby. God, decide for me!!!
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