Moving on part 2
Date: Mar 30th, 2005 11:34:48 pm - Subscribe
Mood: torn

He finally took over my mind. Never knew how powerful one night can be. I wonder why I'm still hanging on to this guy when I clearly know that if the other guy comes back to me, no one would be able to make me stay. But then again, he's not going to come back for me. He wasn't even able to say it this time. I'm going to take the test after exams, if the result is positive, I don't even know what I'm going to do. It's so easy getting pregnant with his baby but it's so hard keeping it.

Anyway, going back to Adrian, the sweetest talker ever! I can't get his words out of my head. When I told him that I thought he wasn't gonna call again. This was what he said "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that was going to make you feel insecure. I partied all day and slept till now, didn't have a chance to call you but I was really happy. I've never been this happy in a long time. You accepted me. You know, when I saw you a couple of weeks ago with the down face, I wanted to cry with you but for you had to stay strong. Who else would comfort you if I break down too? It hurted me so much. I've never had a girlfriend before. I don't know how to be a boyfriend to someone. I want to be the best boyfriend to you. I'm sorry. I'll work on it". I felt the sincerity when he said that but all I can say is "since when were we dating?" to loosen up the seriousness. He thought we were together after that night. If I was anymore naive I would think that too. it's not something that I would share with someone I don't love but I did. I just couldn't control the lust between us. I've never forgotten any night spend with Seo because they shaped our history, they built our love and they contain our memories. Just like those nights, that night cannot be forgotten. There was no love but there was affection, lust, care and a potential future. I hate to think that I might have walked towards a road where I'm falling for someone new but seems like it's happening. I'm giving this opportunity a chance. My birthday is coming up, and he has to guess the correct date before it passes to win me as a girlfriend. Hard enough for fate to decide. Easy enough to give him a chance and maybe give myself a chance. That's fair, isn't it?

I often still think of seo. After mentioning my birthday; last year's birthday was the best one ever. His words may not be as sweet but his thought and love filled my heart. Since that night, I knew I found someone who can truly love me and would do anything beyond the norm to impress me. His courage is so admirable. This year, I'd have to spend it alone, without his love, without his blessings, without his thoughts, and without him....
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