With thee conversing I forget all time: All seasons and their change, all please alike.
Date: Dec 13th, 2007 10:06:02 pm - Subscribe


wow, it's been awhile hasn't it. I can honestly say that I have been blog free since my last post.

Upon completion of a newly acquired trilogy and being alone for past several hours, my mind wondered to this place; partially out of nostalgia but also because I wanted to see the place that kept me company during a summer I hope I never experience again.

How things have changed. My childhood is a list of different cities and a conglomeration of memories that have melted together. I sympathize with the elderly; the integrity of my memory is absurdly poor. This site is one of the few places on the internet that I have vocalized my thoughts. They serve as sturdy posts in a strong current as life races by.

The computer I’m on now is nearly four years old (I feel that’s about 120 years in computer years). I had turned it off, half expecting to never use it again. When I came to retrieve some old information, I accidentally opened my web browser. Displayed in my bookmarks was this site. I didn’t visit here expecting to post, but I also didn’t expect my username and password to still be saved.

This post will be white noise in a never ending ocean, but for me it will be another post to hold on to and remember (with accuracy) of the time I spent here.

I hope to visit as often as I can
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it's the mistake i won't regret
Date: Jul 15th, 2006 8:11:34 pm - Subscribe
Mood: freezing


I'm going to retract my previous statement made about My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge.

The album has grown on me.
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the saddest sound I ever heard, we sang along
Date: Jul 15th, 2006 8:05:46 pm - Subscribe


"Black Comedy"
(feat. Neva Dinova)


Well once I gave a look to you but you never gave it back
So here I stand expressionless but my memory's intact
I guess the past is good for a laugh
A comedy so dry and black
It makes my stomach hurt so bad, I cried
So two thumbs up we give this one despite it's predictable ending
Dialogue seemed rushed and wrong but the actors did their best
To lay some worth on every word
Like coffins dropped into the earth
The saddest sound I ever heard, we sang along
We sang it, take this weight away
We sang it, take this weight away
We sang it, take this weight away
Away
Away


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i got a long way to go in getting further away
Date: Apr 21st, 2006 11:43:58 am - Subscribe


What I hate, beyond measure, is the inability to keep yourself from falling in love.

No matter how badly I try to stop it, I can't help myself.
Comments: (1)


late night regrets
Date: Mar 6th, 2006 12:01:49 am - Subscribe


At the beginning of the semester, one of my professors wrote the grade scale on the board. I started to copy the points into my syllabus, and then stopped around the A- area. I wrote outside on the margin, "I do not anticipate failure."

I began this semester with the goal to read all the assigned chapters, do all the homework, and know what the lecture was going to be about before I showed up to class.

Now, I'm going to have a conversation with my parents about dropping out of college. I made a 48 on my most recent test. I have a project due in the same class tomorrow.

I don't know what the project is.

I have recently been trying to convince myself that not having a college degree is ok.

At the beginning of the semester I quit running, started smoking, and decided I wanted to invest in a zippo lighter.

Now I've quit smoking and started running. But I still don't have a zippo lighter.


I'm thinking about moving to Flagstaff, Arizona. I've always been fond of the country.
Maybe I'll buy my lighter there.

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another lonely night i got to race the clock
Date: Feb 25th, 2006 5:43:41 pm - Subscribe


Watch you on the one's and two's.
Through a window in a well lit room.
Become a recluse.
And I blame myself because I make things hard
and you're just trying to help.
And when I wake up you're the first to call.
This is one more late night basement song.
And I'm so sore.
My voice has gone to hell.

And this is one more sleepless night because we don't believe in filler.
Baby, if I could I'd sit this out.

(This is over when I say it's over.)
This is a lesson in procrastination.
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.
Every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock.
(I ignore it and it ignores me too.)
What say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door.
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder.
I'm another day late and one year older.
It's failure by design.

And we just want sleep.
But this night is hell.
I'm sick and sunk and I blame myself because I make things hard
and you're just trying to help.
I got no gas. (No Gas)
I'm winding out my gears.
This is one more day on the verge of tears.
And now my head hurts. ( Head hurts)
And my health is a joke.
Now I got to stop because the headphones broke.

We don't believe in filler.
Baby, if I could I'd sit this out.

(This is over when I say it's over.)
This is a lesson in procrastination.
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.
Every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock.
(I ignore it and it ignores me too.)
What say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door.
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder.
I'm another day late and one year older.
It's failure by design.

I'm out of everything.
But no one sleeps till we get this shit out on the shelves.
It's late. I'm faltering.
But this time I got nothing to say besides:
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Do Do Do. Do Do Do. (Get this shit out on the shelf)
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Do Do Do. Do Do Do. (Get this shit out on the shelf)
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Do Do Do. Do Do Do. (Get this shit out on the shelf)
Do Do Do. Do Do Do.
Nothing to say besides!

(This is over when I say it's over.)
This is a lesson in procrastination.
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.
Every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock.
(I ignore it and it ignores me too.)
What say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door.
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder.
I'm another day late and one year older.
I'm a failure by design.

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keep your ear to the ground
Date: Feb 5th, 2006 3:58:00 pm - Subscribe


The last couple weeks haven't been so bad. In accordance with Newton's third law, I've been as happy as I've been depressed. I haven't experienced much of either category.

Because of a reference, I've started to read "The problem of Pain" by C.S. Lewis. One of my better friend's dad had a tumor taken out of his face. This helped fuel my motivation to read the book.

The book is like a super model. Very beautiful, but I'm just not attracted to it. You have to make some leaps in faith to believe everything he says. He does talk about Numinous, which I took pleasure in learning about.

I figure, when I'm at the point where I have to buy a house, I'll build a cheap Japanese style home in a forest.

I don't believe in mortgages, or credit cards.

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here\'s to the morning
Date: Jan 15th, 2006 8:45:41 pm - Subscribe
Mood: swell


I have come off a disgustingly sick weekend. The worst I have felt in a while.

I have taken my "goodnight" medicine in frustration for being awake.

When I decide my night is over, I will dream about living in a dream, where I do not have to wake up.

Comments: (2)


let\'s not shit ourselves
Date: Dec 16th, 2005 11:06:12 am - Subscribe


It is said that when Demeter was looking for her daughter Persephone, she was followed by Poseidon, and in order to avoid him she turned into a mare. However, Poseidon changed himself into a stallion and raped Demeter, who gave birth to the horse Arion. Arion become a talking horse, known for his speed.



arionsrage
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the unbearable lightness of being
Date: Dec 13th, 2005 1:44:36 pm - Subscribe
Mood: uplifted


I just finished cramming 4 months of accounting into a long night, and an early morning. The test starts in 20 minutes. I don't want to do anything else for fear of losing those small connects in my short to memory.


if you let them fuck you
there will be no foreplay
rest assured they'll screw you complete
until your ass is blue and grey

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