"a man was buying a train ticket one morning from a female receptionist at the station. having not had any action in a while, he was a bit randy. he glanced down at the receptionist's boobs right before he began speaking and said, 'i'd like a picket to titsburg please.'

of course it was very embarrassing for the man and the receptionist, they both blushed. the man hurriedly got on the train and seated himself. the man beside our main character noticed his red face. he asked what happened, and our protagonist revealed the embarrassing story to the newly met friend on the train.

he chuckled upon hearing the story and told the guy it was ok. he said stuff like this happens all the time. its nothing to get worked up over. it just happened to me the other day while i was having dinner with my female friend/lover. our main character said, 'really?'

he said yeah. when we were eating, what i wanted to say was, 'could you pass the salt?' but instead, what came out was, 'you ruined my life you fucking bitch."

every morning, when the sun comes up in africa, a gazelle wakes up. it knows that it must out run the fastest lion in order to not be eaten and survive.
every morning, when the sun comes up, a lion wakes up. it knows that it must out run the slowest gazelle, so it can eat it and not starve.
now it doesn't matter if you're a lion or a gazelle, but when the sun comes up in the morning, your ass better be running.