arionsrage

i talk too much
Date: Jul 29th, 2005 11:19:28 am - Subscribe


its deathly quiet in my office. really i can't say office, it's more of a storage room with a desk and filing cabinets. and really its not my office, i'm borrowing it for the summer, but anyways

its really quiet by myself in this office. which sucks because that always means its reflection time. i have a lot to think about now because of what happened yesterday.

it was a great day, yesterday was. i saw some of my buddies i haven't seen in ages. we talked for at least half an hour or 45 min, just standing of the side of the road.

then around 10:38 p.m. central standard time, i got a phone call.

heres a little background information on a girl. we were together for almost 2 years. i went to college, and then the year after she went to college. by the time we were both in college, she was 10 hours away. i'd say about november of last year is when it ended. and it ended pretty sour.

when people break up, where do those feelings go? newton's law states, "energy can not be created of destroyed." so when you break up, you can't just stop loving the person through an act of will. i guess you just have to find another place for that love. which could be a reason why people rebound like they do.

the relationship ended, and we mutually agreed never to speak to each other again, after about 3 huge fights in which all her friends and all my friends were involved. it was pretty funny, because people were starting to threaten to kill each other, which i had nothing to do with. i wasn't actually in this fight, i was more of a spectator.

her last words were something like, "have a nice life" to which, i didn't respond. i just left.

so, 10:38 comes rolling around yesterday.

after more than half a year without a single word between us, my phone rings. like an idiot, i answer it because i deleted her number from my phone, so it showed up as just the number instead of her name, and i didn't recognize it.

energy can't be created of destroyed. for so long that voice represented everything i loved for two years. it caught me off guard. she called because she needed some advice. we didn't talk about "us" at all. i gave her what i could, and that was it.

so now i'm left thinking about that phone call. that voice awake the demons inside me, that i've been suppressing for months.

ever see the movie "swingers"

a line from it goes, "they don't call until you forget them"

now i'm left in this mute office, kept company by the demons of my past, listening to the humming of my mind, and wondering what to do with these feelings...
Comments: (3)

oblongbox - July 29th, 2005 Neat fuckass trick those ghosts from the past do eh? Just when you think that it's over, they cross your path once more and you start thinking again.

anonymous - July 29th, 2005 if theres one thing i hate to do, its think

xmidnightx - July 29th, 2005 *huggle* focus on something, the more you think about it, the more damage you will do to yourself!

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