AboutToday I am 19 and female. I'm one of those people who never gets bored. Trust me, it's not as good as it sounds.
Nov 17th, 2009 4:47 pm - Subscribe
I'll do what it takes to make you happy.
..even if it means fighting myself.
Nov 16th, 2009 4:05 pm - Subscribe
t h e   pa s t
Nov 15th, 2009 3:35 am - Subscribe
but for some reason helped me think new thoughts.
Nov 11th, 2009 4:22 pm - Subscribe
I don't even feel like moving much.
Nice one, brain. Nice one.
Nov 10th, 2009 1:07 pm - Subscribe
Nov 9th, 2009 6:24 pm - Subscribe
Also.. I think being in a relationship makes me a lot more attractive. Although I realized, as I get older, more and more boys seem to like me. Must be my upgraded personality. I think I've changed myself.. but I have a lot more to go. ...and I still have to work on this posture.
Nov 8th, 2009 6:43 pm - Subscribe
Sometimes we run out of gas.
Sometimes those are my favourite times.
Nov 8th, 2009 5:21 am - Subscribe
...and it's okay. I'm happy being an astronaut, and they're happy being whatever they happen to be. Just because I don't like their views, doesn't mean they're not happy too. I'm starting to like being different from everybody. Sometimes I kind of feel... lucky. I don't need anybody out there to see what I see, and think what I think, and be what I'm like. I don't know why it always bothers me that I can't find anybody like me. I wish it didn't...
Nov 7th, 2009 5:40 am - Subscribe
Nov 6th, 2009 5:17 pm - Subscribe
"where the fuck did my razor blades go?"
Edit: I'm okay now.
Nov 5th, 2009 4:44 pm - Subscribe
Edit: No.. maybe you're wrong. I know I can do better than this. I can get get rid of these habits, these leeches.
Edit: I miss you.
Nov 4th, 2009 5:30 pm - Subscribe
A r T a R t
a R t A r T
I've come to accept that art is something I like and I'm not going to keep ignoring it, I'm going to embrace it and see where it takes me.
P.S. I'm happy.
Nov 4th, 2009 12:43 pm - Subscribe
keep you at your best.
I'll be the one to keep you,
one disaster less.
Nov 3rd, 2009 5:46 pm - Subscribe
Nov 3rd, 2009 4:56 am - Subscribe
What does happiness mean?
It means whatever I'd like it to.
It means being on this earth, feeling warm, fighting hunger, seeing great skies, hearing birds fly, having a hand to hold, expressing your mind, laughing, sleeping, dancing...
...or just sitting here.
I'm happy just sitting here.
That's all it takes.
Nov 2nd, 2009 5:17 pm - Subscribe
Nov 1st, 2009 12:45 pm - Subscribe
snow falls in silence and covers the green
still you can see where the birds have been
hungry, but alive and free
Nov 1st, 2009 11:19 am - Subscribe
..but it's almost as if you don't take in anything that's said to you. It's like, you have this shield around who you are and you won't accept new thoughts, ideas and improvements. You don't seem to reflect on the things I say. I don't get how anybody could be that way.
I have a feeling I'm not the only one whose words you throw away.
Oct 31st, 2009 12:18 am - Subscribe
Oct 30th, 2009 5:34 pm - Subscribe
but wanting is taunting
and time will still climb,
so have you, i'll have to.
you'll be just for me,
because sharing means killing
times that could have been mine, ...i'm willing.
but i think i deserve this one thing.
Oct 30th, 2009 5:25 pm - Subscribe
recycled thoughts, (trigger things)
(they) recycle inside (again and again)
and they're stuck in a cycle
of recycling (emotions)
until the mind dies.
Oct 29th, 2009 5:24 pm - Subscribe
Jamie likes my grafitti project! I'm definitley not going to give up. I don't know why I let people bring me down if they don't like my stuff. If you think about it, even things that many people like the most in the world, are hated by other people out there. It happens with everything, foods, movies, celebrities. Who cares if people hate my stuff? I love it so much...
:) I hope work is gonna go well tomorrow.
Oct 28th, 2009 4:23 pm - Subscribe
I'm so hopeless.
Oct 27th, 2009 4:47 pm - Subscribe
I don't want a social life until I sort out my brain and organize my chaotic life that's completely drowning in ideas and plans.
Of course Kevin is an exception.
Oct 26th, 2009 5:03 pm - Subscribe
I'm considering getting a scrapbook. Every day I write all these notes and ideas, plans and doodles all over loose pieces of paper on my desk. They're piling up! Maybe I should take advantage of being so full of hopes, ideas and ambitions. If Kevin were closer, I'd feel more relaxed about everything, but it's so hard on my own. I'm also stressed out - we have to start packing soon, but I really wanted to do grafitti around this area. Halloween is in a few days and I don't think I'll have time to finish a costume. I have library books out and a nove I started reading and I have little time to read them. I just can't wait until this next month is over and then I'll be able to breathe easier.
I'm planning on sticking to - or meeting - better friends who will keep me on track. Of course, I already have a few of those which I love, but for some reason Dominique inspires me to keep trying to accomplish things every day. I want to make a group of friends where everybody keeps each other going. I might have to reach out more than usual for this one.
Oct 25th, 2009 6:00 pm - Subscribe
Today I visited Jenni and her new house. We explored the paths behind the houses and ended up at this path with scattered animal parts, legs and heads. It was very creepy, I couldn't even tell what they were. There was one that looked like a donkey's head, and another one that was much bigger which I couldn't figure out what it was, Jenni says it was a cow's head. Anyways, I took some disturbing photos of it , but I don't think I'm going to put it on my photo site! Although I got some other good shots that I liked today. I've also been getting compliments on my photos.. and it helps me not think about giving this up.
But seriously, I really wish my mind could just relax. I think it's getting worse.
Oct 24th, 2009 10:04 pm - Subscribe
Oct 23rd, 2009 3:11 pm - Subscribe
Oct 23rd, 2009 10:34 am - Subscribe
I think way back, you would show your amazing side 90% of the time.
I think now, you've almost destroyed it.
You won't be hearing from me again.
..and I want my mittens back asap.
Oct 22nd, 2009 4:48 pm - Subscribe
Oct 21st, 2009 5:59 pm - Subscribe
I think the only thing truly missing from my life right now is maltesers.
Oh wtf. I was just talking to Bilal on MSN and he mentioned that he quit smoking cigarettes. I asked him when the last time he smoked was and he said monday. So, being a little confused, I asked, "Not smoking for one day means you quit?" ...and he took so much offense to that and just says "whatever, see you later." Ahaha, what the fuck?
Oct 20th, 2009 4:55 pm - Subscribe
Today I watched some new make-up tutorials from Michelle Phan's youtube channel. I want to try out a few of them. I'm really sick of having the same make-up routine every day - it's boring. The thing is, whenever I try something new, I really hate it and I feel like I look uglier than with my usual makeup. So, I end up removing it and just doing my usual. Maybe I need some more colours, so I think I'll try something new tomorrow. I also got inspired from one of her videos to curl my hair when it's damp. I'm trying it out right now! I hope it works nicely.. it would beat buying that $100 hair curling stick I've been thinking of purchasing.
Today I also got inspired to eat healthier, mostly to improve the look of my skin. I've always wanted perfect skin but never tried my best to get it. I have a list of some things I want to start eating more, or new things to try. I'm kind of excited, except I don't want to spend the extra money. Now I'm going to have to start using my money more wisely again.
At work we have a few pop machines near the lanes. One of them is PC pop for just 25 cents. Today a lady put in a quarter and pop just wouldn't stop dispensing! It was awesome. She only took one and told a cashier about the problem. I'd probably take a few, haha! I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
I feel so good about my friends (or lack of!). I've lost so many friends or just stopped seeing them, but it's done me so much good in most cases. I don't need a lot of friends, I never wanted a lot of friends. Lately I've been sticking to just a few people and it's so much better. Having a few close friends beats having a million friends who you can't even trust.
Tomorrow I get to hold hands with a really cute boy. Could life get any more content?
Oct 19th, 2009 4:44 pm - Subscribe
word you know?
The biggest word I know,
and begins with an
followed by an
then comes a
and lastly an
...and that's all we really need.
Oct 19th, 2009 4:34 pm - Subscribe
Well, if I were the sky, I'd be blue too. It just circulates the world over and over, drifting and watching all the people on planet earth be happy and do amazing things.
I don't wanna be that sky that just watches everybody else live. I don't want to think about all these possibilities all the time. I want to be the possibilities.
Maybe I'll even go beyond possibilities.
Maybe I'll accomplish the impossible.
Oct 18th, 2009 4:54 pm - Subscribe
Oct 18th, 2009 4:19 pm - Subscribe
I don't think pills alone can help people who are sad. I've seen it help people but I've never seen it cure people. We can only cure ourselves, we can only change ourselves, we can only be happy if we let ourselves.
And those who choose the jumping method, all they really want is to fly and soar the world, see new sights and get away from whatever place is driving them crazy.
And those who choose to drown, all they need is to sail the seas and watch the sunsets, feel the sea breeze and walk along the beach shore.
You might think I'm assuming much, since I don't know everyone's problems or conditions, but I only think this way because I've been there before. I was stuck so badly, I really didn't even realize what I wanted until things got better. I want to stop people from thinking so negatively, and I want to stop people from wanting to die.
Oct 18th, 2009 1:59 pm - Subscribe
Oct 17th, 2009 6:49 pm - Subscribe
Oct 16th, 2009 8:13 pm - Subscribe
P.S. It's 3:30 am and I have to be up at 6:30.
Oct 16th, 2009 2:50 pm - Subscribe
- Colin Powell
Oct 16th, 2009 2:45 pm - Subscribe
I'm going to change that.
I realized I spend a lot of time at work. Well of course, probably around 15 hours a week at least. It's not a very big number, but the time spent there feels big. I never really make the best of work. I mean, it's really fun sometimes depending on who's working, but the customer part. I'm always really friendly but a lot of the customers don't seem so friendly most of the time, so I never really go out of my way to ask questions or initiate conversations. I stopped caring so much about what to expect though.. so I comment and ask questions about the items they buy or something they wear. I actually learn new things a lot. I also realized that I want to be a lot less hypocritical about my ambitions to save the environment. I noticed that a lot of customers leave their reusable bags in their home, but plenty of them leave them in their cars. So when I ask them if they'll need bags, they usually say they do because they are in the car... so I'm trying my best to remember to remind these customers that the best thing to do is just put all your items in your shopping cart and just pack them near your car! That saves plastic bags. It's really funny because a lot of customers never think of this - and I didn't either until after customers would tell me that it's what they do! If I try to remind as many customers as I can to do this... who knows how many plastic bags I'll be saving in the long run?
On a similar topic, today I told my mom to stop buying bottled water and use filtered water instead. I mentioned stainless steel water bottles to her but I don't think she knows what I meant, so I'm going to try to buy one, possibly tomorrow.
I know I've been giving up on myself again lately, but Dominique re inspired me today. It probably has to do with how tired I am lately and I know I have to change that instead of letting it consume me. I have new plans and ideas but of course first on the list is anything halloween related. I'm running out of time!
Oct 15th, 2009 5:45 pm - Subscribe
..although I'll have to admit, you are by far more beautiful than the sun. :$
Oct 15th, 2009 3:24 pm - Subscribe
Oct 14th, 2009 6:47 pm - Subscribe
We made cute things and laughed a lot.
I think I embarrass him with my retro bus stop dance moves.
I wonder what Dorota will say.
Oh and, I'm now officially Irish in training.
Oct 13th, 2009 5:09 pm - Subscribe
Oh and this is a good one. I confront you about exposing my blog and you reply with an "I don't know what you're talking about." How old are you, 10? It's bad enough you don't act your age, but you really don't even act OUR age, us, the younger people you always hang out with and always try to get with. It's only a matter of time before you piss everyone else off.
P.S. Where did I talk to you like I was your friend? I think you're a little confused.
Oct 13th, 2009 10:15 am - Subscribe
Oct 12th, 2009 5:31 pm - Subscribe
please don't give up
please don't give up
please don't give up
please don't give up
please don't give up
please don't give up
please don't give up
Oct 12th, 2009 4:50 pm - Subscribe
don't want to scare you away.
and so i can't take you to montauk yet.
but we're becoming more close.
Oct 11th, 2009 5:49 pm - Subscribe
Oct 11th, 2009 5:20 am - Subscribe
Oct 10th, 2009 6:33 pm - Subscribe
I wanted to mention my graffiti project again because so far I've mentioned it to quite a few people. At least two people didn't like it and told me it's not going to work or make a difference (ouch!) but the majority of people really really liked it! It makes me feel so good. The past few weeks I've wanted to do it completely alone, but Bilal liked it a lot so I think I'll allow him to help out also. Who knows, maybe I could get a whole team of people interested and that way, it would be so much more creative and thoughtful, and a lot faster too. I can't think of all these brilliant ideas all on my own. I mean I know I'm brilliant (haha) but I think a group of brilliant people is beyond brilliant - it's astonishing. I actually don't mind that it's getting really cold out because I feel that if we're going to be tagging at night in the cold, then there's a smaller chance of getting caught.
I had such a good conversation with Jamie today, it felt so good that him and I are on the same page. I really need to work on my posture. I can't get this boy off of my mind, but I'm not going to forget what you said..
Oct 9th, 2009 6:09 pm - Subscribe
I can't deal.
Oct 9th, 2009 6:00 pm - Subscribe
- Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac
Oct 9th, 2009 5:51 pm - Subscribe
- Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac
Oct 8th, 2009 8:07 pm - Subscribe
*odd: I'm not even sure what I meant about that feeling anymore.
Oct 8th, 2009 8:39 am - Subscribe
Oct 7th, 2009 6:47 pm - Subscribe
trying to impress you
for first impressions,
i'm really bad at impressing.
Oct 6th, 2009 6:01 pm - Subscribe
Oct 5th, 2009 8:06 pm - Subscribe
I have the crazies again.
I need to relax and just let myself be happy.
I hate feeling like nobody is allowed to like me. Why am I like that? It's starting to sicken me... I know I'm completely far from perfect, but did it ever occur to me that maybe other people like that about me? I'm usually one who considers all possibilities, so I don't understand why I let my flaws control me so much. They're pretty much my very own Hitler.
I'm finally starting to realize how abusive I am to myself.
It's a little disappointing..
Oct 5th, 2009 7:25 am - Subscribe
Oct 4th, 2009 6:21 pm - Subscribe
& it was alright that i was dying,
b/c i just wanted you to save me.
i just wanted you, i guess.
so you got the munchies and wanted some ice cream.
there i was!
i do. i do. i do.
and now that it's over,
even my feelings have feelings.
but i don't think i wanted this all along.
Oct 4th, 2009 11:21 am - Subscribe
Oct 3rd, 2009 4:55 pm - Subscribe
Oct 3rd, 2009 4:48 pm - Subscribe
Even if I try my absolute hardest to shut away these germs called people, they always find a way to seep into your brain and shut down your vitals, becoming a cynical administrator - a temporary control system deep inside your mind - a very, very comfortable virus that makes you think that everything it's giving to you is reality. It's because they've been through the same thing, and they believe in what they're doing because they have never fought it and therefore they've already forgotten the truth. ...and so it spreads and spreads. And every morning as I'm re-born into this world, I face a decision and a choice, to battle or to consume... and be consumed. To exist or to hide. To value my life or to value my possessions. To be like you... or to be like me.
I'm such a fool for becoming something that everybody likes.
I used to be an astronaut, but now I'm just like every other girl.
Oct 3rd, 2009 8:07 am - Subscribe
Oct 3rd, 2009 5:20 am - Subscribe
I love the feeling, when people that never really spoke to me or liked me before, actually start talking to me and asking to hang out and all. It gives me the impression that I really have changed. :)
Oh my god, 4 guys grabbed my ass last night! They were all friends of course, but still. Actually, I think there was 5. I believe it was Kevin, Douglas, Timmy, Alex, and then Danny did it just to be trendy. Haha it was pretty funny though, but definitely not cool of them!
Kevin ended up asking Douggie to walk me home later on. So afterward, we were in a small group that consisted of me, Danny, Douggie, Bilal and some 27-year-old guy whose name I forget. For some strange reason, they decided they wanted to hog Kyle (I'm thinking that was his name so I'll call him that) and have conversations with him, so they completely shut me and Danny out and went around a corner to talk. They even told us they will be right back, but I was so pissed, I was like "Danny, let's just ditch them." He didn't seem as mad as I was, but he agreed to leave and we went to talk to some other people for a while. When we went around the corner some 25 minutes later, the three of them were still there talking. I was so angry at this point. They were still shutting us out even after that, so I just took Danny and asked him if he could walk me home instead. I was actually kind of glad because the walk home was pretty funny since Alex and his friend walked with us for a few minutes. Alex was so fucked up! it was soooooo funny, hahaha. After me and Danny started walking, we saw that the fog looked really good with the sky. I took a picture of it, and I showed him the photo on my cellphone for a few seconds. When we looked up again, there was so much more fog! It tripped us out so bad. Turns out there was this huuuuuge fog cloud, which I called the fog monster, who was just traveling down the road. It looked amazing, like something out of a movie - just like in The Mist. Me and Danny ended up having some long awesome conversations. He seemed so smart with his ideas!
When I got home, I went online for a little bit and Douggie called me asking about Danny. What a douchebag, he asked why I left and I told him because I was mad at him, and of course he doesn't give a flying fuck.
After attempting to fall asleep, I stared getting really really cold so I got up to get a blanket and socks and decided that while I'm out of bed, I'll reply to a facebook message I was thinking of replying to. When I sat down, I got a phone call. It's strange since my phone is on silent so I can only see on the phone if somebody is calling me - he had good timing. It was Bilal, and he was walking home and wanted to talk to someone while walking home so I did. I was really tired and still thought it was a little weird, but so did he. Oh well, I didn't mind.
Oh yeah, I wanted to mention some things Jarett said to me also, but I think I'll just keep those in my mind for now.
I had a great night. :) ♥
Oct 1st, 2009 5:53 pm - Subscribe
Sep 30th, 2009 6:14 pm - Subscribe
I'm not even sure if I can trust myself to a certain extent, but at least it keeps me entertained...
Sep 30th, 2009 10:38 am - Subscribe
Sep 29th, 2009 5:54 pm - Subscribe
I always find myself going back to the same people. I wonder what Kevin is going to think of me now. I'm definitely not the girl I used to be when he met me. I feel like maybe him and I can work out, but I also don't want to try to stray him away from something he's not. I know he's so fucking social. He's always been that way. I know he says he's different now but I still have my doubts.
Anyways, I hung out with Alex again, it was pretty fun. He's one of those people I can be pretty energetic around, and I like that. It's strange but I only get like that completely with Jenni, and maybe sometimes a few mild cases with other people.
I miss Jenni. :(
Sep 28th, 2009 4:26 pm - Subscribe
I feel like such a rainbow.
I'm such a horrible, ugly, selfish, heartless, numb, manipulative person.
But I'm also such a great, caring, heartfelt, pretty, thoughtful and selfless girl.
I guess maybe it's about time that I let someone save me from... me. :$
Edit: I will admit.. one of the reasons I don't want to date is because if I do, then most of my guy friends won't want to hang out with me anymore. That would mean, the majority of my friends.
Sep 27th, 2009 5:06 pm - Subscribe
Anyways, I was so productive today. I'm making this cool piece of art expressing my anti-abortion opinion. I'm kind of bummed because I have a billion things to do and so many people to see and it's extremely overwhelming. I hope next week won't be so hectic. Anyways, I really need sleep and I hope I can fall asleep tonight.
Sep 26th, 2009 7:17 pm - Subscribe
I was worrying about bus times to get home, because I didn't know if the 2 would be running at like 1:30 a.m.! I was hoping Andrew could pick me up from Shoppers World... but he offered to pick me up from where I was already at. I was pretty surprised.. me and Andrew don't really hang out at all anymore, but he still did this for me. We decided we're going to have a pool night sometime soon. :)
Edit: Oh and about the blog title... well basically, that's kind of the way that Kevin attempted to pronounce Massachusetts. It was cute though.
Sep 25th, 2009 5:59 pm - Subscribe
Also, I after practicing guitar today, my fingers hurt so bad. I loved the feeling.. I feel like I'm progressing. :)
Time for bed, good night.
Sep 25th, 2009 2:11 pm - Subscribe
Seriously, I miss you. Where did you go?
Sep 25th, 2009 6:37 am - Subscribe
I finally made some cool stencils, and I hope I can try them out tonight or as soon as possible. I'm excited. I even gained weight and got my breasts back.. I feel like such a girl!
I'm going to practise some guitar now. :)
Sep 23rd, 2009 4:12 pm - Subscribe
I'm actually... happy for myself.
In a way, I feel like I'm surpassing a lot of people I know... in the sense that I'm trying to change and do things - new things. I've been attempting to help my friends, too... but then I realized, some people just don't want to get their lives together. Although, it feels like I'm not motivational enough. Jamie is a perfect example. I tried to help him, but it only made me feel worse...
I'll stop worrying about others and just keep doing things for myself I suppose.
Sep 22nd, 2009 5:51 pm - Subscribe
Sep 21st, 2009 3:39 pm - Subscribe
GIVE ME MORNING SHIFTS GOD DAMNIT. And my last paycheck please. It feels sad to be broke.
..you're really annoying and as much as I thought I could handle being around you for a little while that night of the party, you completely ruined it with your pathetic little "where are my mittens" act. I recall you doing the same thing with Christina asking her for your glasses. Guess what? You're not cool! You're a pothead and you're selfish, so I hope you fuck off forever.
I can't stand seeing your name on my MSN list so I'm removing it. Every time I think about you it makes me wanna throw up. You're a sick bastard and you have no respect for girls, at all. All you care about is your fucking penis. You were completely wrong about everything.. sex isn't meaningless. Sex initially has a purpose and I'm not going to let morons like you try to prove me wrong and make me think that sex is something you just do with anyone whenever you want to. I hope you catch Aids soon if you haven't yet... I'd love to see where you wind up in the future. I feel bad for myself that I couldn't stick up for what's right and kick you in the fucking balls. I hope to see your face around here again, so that I can slap you hard across it.
I wish I could move on for good and stop going back to the past. I could be so much better than this.
Sep 20th, 2009 3:03 am - Subscribe
Sep 19th, 2009 2:25 am - Subscribe
What I'm proud of most about tonight was that there were 3 people at the party that I kind of cut ties with, or things might have been weird with... but I ended up being nice to all three. :) Anyways maybe I'll write more once I remember some more.
I remember at one point, I think Keri told me that she thought I hated her because she was friends with Mike. Lol, that's weird. I told her me and Mike were cool now. :) Oh, I thought it was cute how us girls kept going to the bathroom in groups, ahaha... it was awesome.
When me and Dom were walking home, there was a little mousy running in CIRCLES in the middle of the fucking road. It was weird.. I was trying to save it with my feet. IT WAS LIKE A VIDEOGAME. Every time I tried kicking it with my foot, it just kept gravitating in circles towards the road. Or it would squeak or something. I felt sad, it's probably squished by now... or frozen.
Sep 18th, 2009 7:55 am - Subscribe
Ahhhh I made a notebook for everything. One for a daily organizer, one for artsy/graffiti ideas, and one for guitar!
Sep 17th, 2009 2:50 am - Subscribe
Thank you, but no thank you. I'm going to label myself. I am whoever I'd like to be and frankly you just didn't know how to open up the best side of me. You didn't really give me a reason to.. but that's okay. It doesn't matter if you see me as something so broken, so horribly messed up. A lot of people would label me something completely different, because I'm different around everybody. If I really wanted somebody to believe that I'm a truly amazing person, I'd do so. Making people fall for you isn't hard at all, and anybody can do it - but starting off a friendship that way is totally stupid.
The rest of this I'm writing in my journal.
I'm just really glad that I'm following my own rules and getting to know people well before I assume that I know what kind of person they are. I should have done this from the start - it would have saved me a lot of time!
Sep 16th, 2009 4:21 am - Subscribe
So I bought that 50mm f1.8 lens for my camera. I haven't officially tested it out on any good subjects yet so I really need to get on that. Money is for spending. I'm going to try out a new saving system: putting away $100 a week for school. That's not even much, and I'll have so much left over to spend on things I've planned for my year. In fact, I don't know why I'm still sitting on my ass in front of this stupid computer. I'm gonna get ready and head to the bank!
Sep 14th, 2009 12:18 pm - Subscribe
i only lie in photographs through false expressions of emotion. i hate being so thin. baggy shirts and flat shoes. flat feet. i like a room that's neat, especially my own.
i've never broken a bone, though fragile i am... i'm as strong as a man, and like men, i don't like wearing bras. sometimes i break the law and sometimes hearts. fuck love, i prefer music, photos, and art.
Sep 13th, 2009 3:45 pm - Subscribe
Will this ever fucking end?
Edit: I was on facebook and noticed everyone's talking about celebrities tonight. It just got me thinking about how stupid it is that everyone seems to obsess over all these people we don't know and never will meet. Also, I know plenty of people here in my city who are way more talented than plenty of these celebrities. I wish people would focus more on their own lives.
Can you imagine a place where you'd go to the store to buy magazines with your own friend's faces in them, your family's, and maybe even your own? Reading about things that actually are going on in your very own life and not someone else's? Oh but wait I forgot.. this world if fucked up. Soooo fucked up.
Sep 11th, 2009 5:08 am - Subscribe
- Saving the planet
- Saving teens from bad habits
- Saving teens from depression
- Photography items/photos
- Guitar Picks
- Art Guitar
- Art Guitar 2
- Design 1
- Design 2
- Design 3
- Design 4
- Design 5
- Design 6
Sep 9th, 2009 2:30 pm - Subscribe
Speaking of events at work! I just thought I'd also mention two others. About two months ago, there was a guy at no frills who stood in line after somebody, dropped one of their items as a decoy and then took their purse hoping they wouldn't notice. He didn't run straight out, instead he went to the express line (I guess he had something in his cart). Fortunately the lady noticed and took the purse back from him, after which he bolted out the door!
In the second event, I was on cash and noticed through the window that two employees were standing outside a car and the door was opened, near it a water cooler bottle. They were paging the owner of the vehicle to come to his car (he didn't come until about 15 minutes later, what an idiot). Turns out there was a fire in his car and people noticed it and were afraid the car might blow and so firetrucks came. Turns out it was a fire in the backseat and not in the engine or anything. Anyways, I just wanted to say how fucking careless are you that you fucking leave lit cigarettes (or whatever it was) in your car. Afterward two more teenagers came to the car, one of which I recognized from school. They cleaned out the backseats and drove off.
I guess you could say it's kind of entertaining.
Sep 9th, 2009 5:39 am - Subscribe
[-] - Painting / Drawing - O - O
[-] - Photography - O
[ ] - Digital Editing
[ ] - Creative Writing
[ ] - Interior Design
[ ] - Graffiti
[ ] - Sculpture
[ ] - Dance
[ ] - Guitar
[ ] - Piano
[ ] - Singing
[ ] - Sewing
[ ] - Halloween Costume
[ ] - Cooking
[ ] - Gardening
[ ] - Book Reading
[ ] - Astronomy
[ ] - New Language
[ ] - Science
[ ] - Sports
[ ] - Collecting..
[ ] - Hairdressing
[ ] - Time Capsule
[ ] - Get G1
[ ] - Travel
[ ] - Paintballing
[ ] - Go-Karting
[ ] - Rollerblading
[ ] - Hiking
[ ] - Biking
[ ] - Start Caring About Environment
[ ] - Play Chess
[-] - Quit McDonald's
Sep 9th, 2009 5:02 am - Subscribe
A mind is like a giant home! It's a place that's completely yours and fully customizable. You can neglect it and let it wilt away, or you can expand it and explore it, build amazing things in it. It's a canvas you can paint infinitely on. It's a puzzle with a billion pieces. The mind is the game, and the body is the battery. It doesn't matter how many friends we collect, or how many places we visit.. because even those who have nothing, have everything, as long as they have existence.
You can have everything for a while, you'll probably lose everything in the end, but through your entire lifetime the only thing that you'll constantly have is yourself. It just pisses me off that most people around me are constantly escaping themselves and trying to find something through other people. People come and go, and as great as friends are, you don't need others to be happy. You really don't!
Sep 7th, 2009 6:22 pm - Subscribe
Well, it wasn't really long because every day is pretty much the same length, but it just felt more eventful. I had some long talks about certain things such as who people are and what being human is. When I came home, my dad also told me that he found out my sister's moving in with a gay guy, and we pretty much argued about whether it's right or wrong to be gay. All these conversations just made me remember and realize lots of things. I know I'm so stuck in my ways but I've become so comfortable with it that it's just become me. But I think I need to ask myself what's next really. I can't be like this endlessly - I can't just just be this borderline being, always in the middle but never stable yet never completely nuts. I don't really know what I am, but I think I just need to focus on being somebody that does a lot of things not only for their own sake. What good is a butterfly that doesn't show its wings to the world? Seriously.
Sep 6th, 2009 12:21 pm - Subscribe
Time to get things done!
..and get my fucking G1 already. Oh boy.
Sep 4th, 2009 4:31 pm - Subscribe
That way it won't hurt as much.
Sep 3rd, 2009 4:41 pm - Subscribe
I was just sitting here at my desk and my leg looked like it was made from rubber so I took a photo. Haha, I kinda like it.
Anyways, I'm getting really excited for my 19th. I love new beginnings. I really wanna meet new people and learn new things and go new places. I'm terrible at keeping friends, but I know this year will be different because it's just a whole different year. Not only will I be 19 and out of school, but I'm going to have more time to improve myself and be a better person towards others. I'm working on being more selfless. That's my top priority right now. Let's see how well this goes.
PICNIC TOMORROW! I need to get out more. :)
Sep 2nd, 2009 4:53 pm - Subscribe
Fuck you feelings, I have journeys ahead of me.
Sep 1st, 2009 5:54 am - Subscribe
Even though everyone's moving away, including myself, and even though my friends come and go and things change in their entirety.. I'm always going to have memories. Everything in life - including life itself - is temporary, and I don't know why I have such a hard time letting things go, but if we don't accept change then we'll only be stalling our lives and dwelling in the past.
Whatever happens, I'm ready for it! Hello life. :)
Aug 30th, 2009 4:17 pm - Subscribe
I'd love to be fucking kidnapped and put in a nice quiet place, far away from everybody, preferably pluto...
I think that's the only place that would save me from insanity here.
Aug 29th, 2009 5:47 pm - Subscribe
Aug 27th, 2009 5:51 pm - Subscribe
Aug 26th, 2009 5:32 pm - Subscribe
Ugh, I just found out that rat's been chewing on the phone cable that connects my internet to the phone jack. My internet is bad enough as it is, give me a break.
Man oh man oh man. We finally had a show around here, and I've missed those things so much. It wasn't exactly the same feeling though, because of course all the old show kids weren't there, and the ones that were seemed to have adapted into new groups. There were a lot more groups this time. It was kind of what was stopping me from talking to the people I knew. Nonetheless, it was still great and although I know it'll never be the same as it used to be, at least there's some hope.
Me and Allie had a sleepover last night and it was great! I usually don't have sleepovers with anyone other than Jen because I don't mind being without makeup around her, but I wasn't gonna let that stop me. Fuck whatever I look like - if I wanna have fun, I'll have it. We played pool and made a bet that the loser has to eat something gross. I don't know how this happened.. but I lost. I know, I was thinking, Wtf! She doesn't even know how to hold it right! Ahaha, well it was all chance. I ended up having to eat something called shrimp fry, which smelled absolutely horrible and might have been expired. It tasted like super salt and dead fish bodies. We didn't go to sleep until past 4.. which isn't so bad for a girls' sleepover. It's too bad Becky missed out though.