Should I Be Angry. [10.03.2006]
Date: Oct 3rd, 2006 12:37:33 pm - Subscribe
Mood: unappreciated
Yaoi Fix: Not today.
My best friend Anna said she would gladly give up everything, just to be dead. She says she wishes an unfortunate accident would occur. She says she wants to die.
I'm so furious at her for saying those things. I couldn't bring myself talk to her yesterday, because I didn't want to hear her say it again.
Am I right to be angry? Am I right to feel resentful for what she said?
How am I supposed to react to having my friend tell me she would give up her friendship with me so that she could be dead? I feel worthless. Like I don't matter enough to her for her to want to stay alive.
And she thinks I would move on if she died. Honestly, if Anna died, I think I would lose it. For the past three or four years, Anna and I have been the closest of friends, almost like sisters. Up until now we have helped each other through all of our hard spots.
She's never said she would be willing to give up everything just to die. She's never made our friendship feel like a waste before.
If Anna were to die, in no uncertain terms I would be an absolute wreck. I love her so much. She's the most precious person to me next to my mom and my brother. And let's face it, if she died, I'd never be able to get over it fully.
Everytime Alucard was mentioned, or AxA, I'd remember her. Everytime I wore the hoodie she had made for me, I'd remember her and the inside jokes we shared. Whenever I entered the Art Shop, I'd remember her because we originally started it with just the two of us. No matter where I went in my house, she would come to mind. Because she's been in that house. Everything would remind me of her. Everything would make me cry and mourn her passing.
I'm so frustrated right now. I feel like she's being so selfish. Just look what kind of pain she'd put her loved ones through. And I'm not just talking about me. I'm sure my reaction to her death wouldn't hold a candle to how her family would respond. And how Val would handle it.
God. HOW could she be willing to give up the people that love her the most? How could she even think to put the people that love her most through that kind of pain?
Am I wrong to feel this way? Should I be forgiving and not resentful? Should I just look the other way and pretend it doesn't hurt that she would prefer to be dead than with her family, Val, and me?
Comments: (1)
revelation - October 03rd, 2006 |
