AxA: Welcomed Poison

Want to Want [11.07.2006]
Date: Nov 7th, 2006 10:54:29 pm - Subscribe
Mood: headachy
Yaoi Fix: Papa to Kiss in the Dark

I don't understand myself sometimes. I confuse myself sometimes. I get lost in my thoughts because they are clouded and vague.

I have been the type of person who lives for someone else's happiness.

I've become the type of person who lives for my own happiness, with no regret towards the people I hurt to get that happiness.

I've shamelessly broken hearts because the whim suited me. Because being single would make me happy. Because being in a relationship was too stressful and not my scene.

It makes me a cold person. It makes me a heartless bitch to the people who end up hurt.

I want to go to college. I want to get a job and forget about college.

I want to be single. I want to be in love and be placed on a pedestal.

My thoughts contradict themselves in all directions.

I don't like to feel this way. It makes me feel depressed. I feel like the glass is half empty. Like I need to live off the love of people.

I want to be an optimist again. I want to wake up in the morning and think "What can I do today that will please me and make me happy?"

I want to be a bitch that knows what she wants, instead of these fickle whims that change from day to day.

I want to know what I want again.
Comments: (4)

emogirlie - November 08th, 2006 I like this post. I'm confused too. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

meip3ng - November 08th, 2006 i was once depressed too. i know how it feels. it sucks, doesnt it? learn to open your heart. dont keep everything inside. allow people to see the real you. most important of all... be yourself. and... follow what your heart says.

mourir - November 08th, 2006 To err is human, and so is fluxuation in personality. I am giving you a mental hug right now. It is filled with much love and friendship. Being a cruel, heartless bitch is sometimes necessary, I think. Especially since everyone else's opinions of you are oft unimportant in the end. Be happy, dearheart, because we only have one life, and that life is not long enough for us to be down. :]

mali - November 08th, 2006 it's quite simple, you want me. that's all you need to know. lol ^.^

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