super bored
Date: Feb 15th, 2010 - Subscribe
Mood: with a cape made from dusty drapes
what if i had super powers? that would be EPIC. nights like these.. and i find nothing interesting to do, i can jump like hayden christensen in jumper and go to egypt..or amsterdam! ...hell i can go to a freakin 711 for all i care, at least the change of venue would keep me excited about something.
or maybe i could just fly. flight would be interesting.. except for the fact that i get motion sickness at times and i probably tinkle more often than most girls do..i'd probably need to bring jingle bags just in case..i can keep them in those compartment contraptions the super heroes have..cape..no..i meant utility belt..fail..
i wouldn't want one of those powers where you could see the future or read minds or anythin like that..too risky of a super power..and not as fun as the previous mentioned two..it'd be scary..hearing everybody's thoughts..i'd probably find out soooo many things..i wouldn't know how to handle all the shit..
or like Rogue. from X-men. god that would suck too. everyone i'd touch would get there life sucked outta them..i'd be walking death..but not like a zombie..i'd cause the death..i can't have sex..i'd have no friends..dayum
oh..and hulk..that wouldnt work..my breasts would look like giant green watermelons..and i'd run out of clothes..
i'm not too sure about being a part of the power rangers either ..they don't have super powers perse but they know martial arts and got this killer robot that fights off huge ass monsters ..but then again ..there'd need to be huge ass monsters for me to kill to be able to use the robot with all its glory ..and its not a very practical vehicle if i'd just wanna go to, lets say, a friend's house ..and parking would be a bitch..
AHA! i can be the avatar!! that would kick so much ass ..oh..but i can't go to 711 instantaneously ..i'd still need a car ..or a flying aid of some sort ..like aang's..
i am so bored
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from a friend
Date: Nov 29th, 2009 - Subscribe
Mood: a love quote that i like..or maybe i like just cause its by bob marley haha!
a quote i do not want to forget so i have to copy paste it..haha..
You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. so don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze her and don't expect more than she can give. smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.
-bob marley
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this one's for you
Date: Nov 29th, 2009 - Subscribe
Mood: my was that fun
so..to you, mr. lawyer
i had so much fun with you. and the fact that there was an agreement between us made everything so much more..mm..naughtier? forbidden?..i'm not quite sure how to put it..but if you read this, i bet you caught my drift.
although you did provide me keys to the v.i.p., i can't say i liked who i was when with you. we were all play..all experimenting..no love..no beyond physical attraction..you signified everything i wasn't when i was with my forever.
and i don't blame you for being the way you were with me. i was like that. i can be like that. and you are not the first. i can be quite loca when i don't wanna take things seriously. i forgot how it felt like. to be bad. to be wanted. to be single and milking it.
and though i may have seen quite game and overly willing then. it might have just been because i was forcing myself to become a person with no remnance of the forever. i wanted to be someone who did not remind me of him. so i became a someone who was appropriate for you. a penny lane. a liv tyler in aerosmith's crazy. rock and roll, baby.
but no..i'm not that anymore. and i dont wanna be..i can't deny that a part of me that is ms.tyler is alive and kicking but she is put into good use in my relationship now. gotta keep things spicy, y'know.
so i guess..i'd wanna thank you and apologize. i am sorry for using you as a tool, although i wasn't aware of it then, i know now that what i wanted from you is to help me realize what i really wanted. we may have had an agreement but still i am sorry for having to introduced to that side of me. who you now probably think of as some wild woo girl who would climb on a mechanical bull just for the hell of it.
i thank you just the same. for being my drug. despite all the shit going on that i refused to see, you kept me sedated, you kept me motivated. may have been for the wrong reasons but from what i've heard, your forever is back in your arms as well. we were each others' "transition" people. its quite sweet if you think about it.
that's all. i'm just voicing out. we never got the chance to end things on a good note. not that my anonymous blog would change that but this way, i'm acknowledging it. still,i wouldn't have done anything different. no regrets.
you have a good one! and hey fyi..when i see you, a part of me still feels like i'm walking on the moon..
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back on my feet
Date: Nov 29th, 2009 - Subscribe
Mood: and running
its been a long ass time. longer than i've ever gone without writing. my life turned upside down and over in the span of 3 months. however, this time around..my sudden fall..well, was not one i'd think of as depressing.
there was a break up between me and my love. my forever love. i thought that that was it. last straw. the three year marker got to me. and from what i've learned through my friends and family, at 3 yrs is when you decide to make or break. so i believed that was it..i worked immediately and almost unconsciously to get over and move on.
and yes..as expected..a break up cannot ensue without the drama. drama that usually is brought about by the estranged ex..although to my surprise, some very unlikely proposals were made and i jumped at the chance of possibly finding a "transition" guy. i created my own drama. i dated. i played. i had fun that was half baked and yet thrilling all the same.
only to find..that well..i still love my forever..and he felt the same.
we went back to being the "we" we were after a good amount of time a part and i have been happy since. things have been good. which can be considered new to me. happy, yes but perfect? never. i may regret not putting too much thought into my lack of being ideal but my personality just can not bring me to think otherwise and actually do something about it.
love is tricky. i must admit. sometimes it can just consume you. and a lot of my falls are because of all this crap. but hey, at least i can say i've grown. now more so than ever, i can say i have grown.
my previous entry, before this one was written to what could've been. and i would like to express my feelings towards the one that was but did not blossom.
i owe you a letter too..
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to you, mr. sexy
Date: Aug 31st, 2009 - Subscribe
Mood: cherry cherry boom boom
i know that there's a chance you might read this. i actually want you to. maybe you should. obviously trusted you enough for you to be one of the only 2 people who know about this. so ok..
here it goes
i aint sure your intentions or confessions were as true as i thought they were. i mean, this is what i meant by being ballsy, boy. yeah we aint in no rush but what exactly do i have to hope for if i dont see or feel even the slightest nudge from you. believe you me, you had the upperhand. now though, you seemed to have dissolved. what happened, dear?
i know you may have been busy but a hi or hello should have sufficed. but maybe, maybe it was just some fantasy i conjured up in my head. maybe you are just meant to be my friend. not that that's a bad thing. you're one hell of a friend, y'know. with the drummer boy, now that one as well is quite a mix up. i try to avoid anyone gettin ideas in their heads. the only person who knows i favored you is..well..you haha!..thought that would've been a huge clue...guess not
so i dunno what to make of anything anymore, dear. i'd gladly remain your friend. and the feistiness of the X is soooo rampant, literally working double and over time.
well now maybe i guess i might need to see less of you?? ...i'm not sure!! HAHA!!..BADTRIP!! ..i usually talk to you abt these things...damn...ok...well cause if i really do wanna work this out with the X, i cant keep thinking of you being my what if..the X is showing the fight..which is what i wanted..i know it sounds soooo conceited but understand how maybe i wanted to feel worth it, worth effort..i was havin my fun single yeah..but at the same time, totally dismissin and maybe even undermining myself..and yea, the events on my bday proved how i felt pretty worthless :|
there's the drama yo..HAHA..gotta love it
...you're the what if that didnt exactly try, man..next time you like a girl..and by any chance she's a lot like me haha!..have a little more fight..i'm a little crazy that way, i dont mind the rough around the edges and the mud on my jeans 
but yea.. we cool it aint too late or anything...gaad see not wuite sure why i said that but did anyway :|..i dont know!! its YOU!! of all FUCKING people! you dont know your hold on me, man I SWEAR!...
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