back on my feet
Date: Nov 29th, 2009 - Subscribe
Mood: and running
its been a long ass time. longer than i've ever gone without writing. my life turned upside down and over in the span of 3 months. however, this time around..my sudden fall..well, was not one i'd think of as depressing.
there was a break up between me and my love. my forever love. i thought that that was it. last straw. the three year marker got to me. and from what i've learned through my friends and family, at 3 yrs is when you decide to make or break. so i believed that was it..i worked immediately and almost unconsciously to get over and move on.
and yes..as expected..a break up cannot ensue without the drama. drama that usually is brought about by the estranged ex..although to my surprise, some very unlikely proposals were made and i jumped at the chance of possibly finding a "transition" guy. i created my own drama. i dated. i played. i had fun that was half baked and yet thrilling all the same.
only to find..that well..i still love my forever..and he felt the same.
we went back to being the "we" we were after a good amount of time a part and i have been happy since. things have been good. which can be considered new to me. happy, yes but perfect? never. i may regret not putting too much thought into my lack of being ideal but my personality just can not bring me to think otherwise and actually do something about it.
love is tricky. i must admit. sometimes it can just consume you. and a lot of my falls are because of all this crap. but hey, at least i can say i've grown. now more so than ever, i can say i have grown.
my previous entry, before this one was written to what could've been. and i would like to express my feelings towards the one that was but did not blossom.
i owe you a letter too..
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