aya's Blog

i hate every beautiful day
Date: Mar 13th, 2006 - Subscribe
Mood: i need an ice cream


i hate every beautiful day. i hate when i push you to do what i know would make you happy but would crush me inside. i hate that you're the only other guy who could make me cry. i hate that i am you're one night stand and she is your dream. i hate that you think of me as an only just and you think of her as an everything. i hate that you come to me for your shoulder to lean on, for your arms to catch you, for every goddmaned moment you feel lost. i hate that i'm so willing to help you. i hate to have to hear about your whims and woes, your wishes and dreams. i hate that i am nowhere to be found in your wishes. i hate that this is so much like that wretched teen flick, with all the "i hates.." i hate that you will never know how i feel. i hate that i can never bring myself to telling you. i hate that i love you so much that i'd always put your happiness first even though that means that part of me dies. i hate that i can't just stop seeing you. i hate all this complication. i hate all this misdirection. i hate that you're amazing. i hate that you mean so much to me that i would never put you in a situation wherein you'd have to choose. i hate that i can't stop. i hate that i can't get over you. i hate you and your smile. i hate you are your hugs. i hate you and your car. i hate you and the way you smell. i hate you and your eyes. i hate you and your kisses. i hate that i can't hate you.
Comments: (3)

warlock - March 13th, 2006 you deserved to be hated and so do i for posting a comment here

aya - March 14th, 2006 you know what's funny,i read your cry me an ocean of tears and i'll let the blood spill entry yesterday..i thought it was heart felt and it had depth,i liked it in other words..i never judge other's entries cause those are feelings typed down..i wouldnt stomp on your feelings, they are your's and it's up to you to choose how you'd express them..at least you had the time to read through mine, critique all you want, i dont mind..keep up your works, i find entering a person's soul fascinating and great eye openers for the close minded.

Rafiqi - May 17th, 2006 there you are, aya.

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