this one's for you
Date: Nov 29th, 2009 - Subscribe
Mood: my was that fun
so..to you, mr. lawyer
i had so much fun with you. and the fact that there was an agreement between us made everything so much more..mm..naughtier? forbidden?..i'm not quite sure how to put it..but if you read this, i bet you caught my drift.
although you did provide me keys to the v.i.p., i can't say i liked who i was when with you. we were all play..all experimenting..no love..no beyond physical attraction..you signified everything i wasn't when i was with my forever.
and i don't blame you for being the way you were with me. i was like that. i can be like that. and you are not the first. i can be quite loca when i don't wanna take things seriously. i forgot how it felt like. to be bad. to be wanted. to be single and milking it.
and though i may have seen quite game and overly willing then. it might have just been because i was forcing myself to become a person with no remnance of the forever. i wanted to be someone who did not remind me of him. so i became a someone who was appropriate for you. a penny lane. a liv tyler in aerosmith's crazy. rock and roll, baby.
but no..i'm not that anymore. and i dont wanna be..i can't deny that a part of me that is ms.tyler is alive and kicking but she is put into good use in my relationship now. gotta keep things spicy, y'know.
so i guess..i'd wanna thank you and apologize. i am sorry for using you as a tool, although i wasn't aware of it then, i know now that what i wanted from you is to help me realize what i really wanted. we may have had an agreement but still i am sorry for having to introduced to that side of me. who you now probably think of as some wild woo girl who would climb on a mechanical bull just for the hell of it.
i thank you just the same. for being my drug. despite all the shit going on that i refused to see, you kept me sedated, you kept me motivated. may have been for the wrong reasons but from what i've heard, your forever is back in your arms as well. we were each others' "transition" people. its quite sweet if you think about it.
that's all. i'm just voicing out. we never got the chance to end things on a good note. not that my anonymous blog would change that but this way, i'm acknowledging it. still,i wouldn't have done anything different. no regrets.
you have a good one! and hey fyi..when i see you, a part of me still feels like i'm walking on the moon..
Comments: (0)