banzee's Blog

the hardships of decision-making.
Date: 5/11/2006 10:32 - Subscribe
Mood: whimsical


don't be fooled by the title. this day was better than the last! i'm just happy because i saw him again today. not only that, i saw him up close. call me pathetic but i'm not like everyone else who have gone so far. and if you're in love, you're happy about the simplest things and blush at your every word. at least that's what its like in my case. oh c'mon, who wouldn't be in love with that adorable look he had earlier? (sorry)

anyway, what made it better was my dad. for the first time, he asked me about what i would take for college. and yes, thank God he's concerned.

These days are too pretty to be true. so right now i'm scared to think of what would happen in the future. my wheel won't stop turning unless i'm dead.
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unlike any other
Date: 5/10/2006 06:31 - Subscribe
Mood: holy embarrassment...


this day was... i don't know! earlier today, i went to the court for my drills. and guess what,,, i dived on clay. sigh. dammit. that was definitely embarrassing. but my trainer said, "you're not normal if you never tripped in sand."

you should see my shirt. from white, it turned MAROON. oh well... no pain, no gain, right?

i got a lot of pressure in me right now. and unlike any other pressures i've gone through, i'm not really sure i can handle this one. but i really hope i can because i wanted this. i really really wanted this so i can't let go without trying.

this day was really weird too! i found something out that is really really hard to fathom...in a good way. i heard about it this morning and right now, i'm still laughing! oh gosh. well, unbelievably, i'm happy about it! really i am! even though this person's my past... but that's not why i can't take it in. it's really funny I SWEAR.

i love you dear. as a friend. i'm definitely sure about what i feel for you now and it's nothing more than that. just be careful because i don't want you getting hurt.
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turn tables.
Date: 5/09/2006 05:16 - Subscribe
Mood: NERVOUS.


people keep talking about going to review classes for college entrance exams. and i got my application for the University of the Philippines earlier. these things are making me nervous because i didn't go to review classes. I was just damned by the money it would cost my parents. and people keep telling me it's actually useless. but i can't help thinking: what if i didn't pass any one of those??? well it's a good thing i got some hand-outs from a friend.

sigh. i'm getting old. i almost forgot that i'm almost in college. oh sh*t.
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perfect day
Date: 5/08/2006 10:15 - Subscribe
Mood: groovy


today is the best day i've had in a few weeks. i stayed in the court the whole day and i've made myself known as "the only girl who can take the 1pm heat". haha. no one is willing to play in the heat. why do i? hey, the court is free from 11am-2pm so why not? but imagine, what if my parents found out that i keep forgetting to wear the sun block. i hate lotion!

the best part of the day is when he came. and yeah, it's the first time i've seen him since last friday and... sigh.

to give you an idea, i don't really look like someone who would fall for a jock. or even fall for anyone. soooo...

but anyway, seeing him just made it the perfect day...an award-winning day.

haha someone once told me (can't remember when) "you know what? you're a real hard-to-get. no pretences. but when someone sweeps you off your feet, you are definitely what a girl is supposed to be."

i have no idea what that meant. does that mean you would always have to stick with the "highschool girl kilig" stances whenever you see this certain guy? NO WAY.

But who knows, with ME, i might just stick to it forever.
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the irony in life
Date: 5/06/2006 06:55 - Subscribe
Mood: totally undescribable.


i'm so happy i got to play again and yes, thank GOD i am improving.

i was reflecting on things earlier. you see, there's this ball boy, i'm not sure how old he is (probably around 10) but he is definitely TOO SMALL for his age. he went out of the court for a second, and when he came back, the back of his shirt was bloody. i didn't mind it at first because i thought it was something else (his shirt was dark blue.) when kuya larry (the one who tried to fix my service) asked him why, he said "my mom hit me with a softdrink bottle."
when i asked why, "because my dad ran away."

WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT???

i mean, there are people who want to have kids but never had them while some bitch beat up their own children!

so guys, maybe if there's some compassion left in you, why not make a child to love, not to hate? but if you're some stupid fool doing "IT" for pleasure, you should also spend time in jail---FOR PLEASURE.

god i hate those people. they stink.
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