the day i caught myself asleep
Date: Jun 30th, 2008 5:38:45 am - Subscribe
i worried and bustled from thing to thing without even notice or telephone ring do you know do you know how my simple is messy and my dreams are so fussy they won't let me win though i beg and wine, i mean whine, no i really meant wine is it all, no stop, another train, i woke up in my bed thinking of not being able to sleep along a steep and slippery step i just can't take, ok back to the other train, fussy my dreams, they wish grandiose but slip away if i don't write them down, what kind of irony is that that i can't remember the bustle, the worry, the lack of hurry, no i mean worry or hurry, it's all going blurry...
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dragonfly
Date: Jun 20th, 2008 2:04:33 am - Subscribe
i'm starting to think that i should do a good move every year or two. box up everything, throw out the stuff i haven't used since the last move, and start new. maybe each place is like a cocoon, where i only can grow by climbing out. i've been in my current cocoon too long. it's not healthy for my soul. i'm struggling under the change of simply moving across town. i'm fearful. i'm nervous. i've stayed too long. i need to climb out at the right time, only to repeat it again and again. it is the way of life. to stay too long is to break the chain of events that add up to a life, to my life. so, off i go to a new set of walls, a new set of windows, a new place to call home.
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neighborhoods
Date: Jun 17th, 2008 3:21:54 am - Subscribe
i've been looking for a new place to live. i've lived west of downtown for about 6 years now, and i fear my roots have gone down more than i'm comfortable. i need a change. i really like walking to work, so i drew a circle around where i work on a map. i also wanted to be near the lake. that meant being either south of work (way too expensive - the center of downtown) or north, which is where i've been looking. it's funny how neighborhoods have certain reputations. some neighborhoods are tough. people who live there take pride in living (and perhaps surviving) there. other neighborhoods are social scenes. they are known as places to 'hook up'. there are artistic neighborhoods that go through a cycle that usually results in them being too expensive for artists to live there any more. what's the neighborhood i'm looking at? the north side of my city is where the richer folks live. not necessarily the richest, but definitely not down-and-out. if you're young there, you might be called a 'yuppie'. if you're older, i guess you'd just be called 'wealthy', though most people like that move out of town and into the northern suburbs. all i know is that i can afford an apartment there, and found a cool little studio. and i'm about a 10 minute walk from the lake, which is nice. i guess i have to decide whether labels matter much to me, or if it's just another place to call home.
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sirens
Date: Jun 12th, 2008 1:41:42 am - Subscribe
we hurried on from one thing to another, each of us, lost in our given day. there were protocols. not too friendly. not too mean. a world of busy, unoffensive wall-flowers, building, or carrying, or selling one thing or another. outsiders would come and go. we would see them. but we didn't really see them. they would pause and say odd things while they rode the elevators with us. we would smile, and say something not too nice, not too mean, unoffensive. And then we would hurry away to the next thing. days would pass without much notice. lives would pass without much notice. i didn't notice any of it. then one day, while walking toward the entrance. one odd day, while almost to work, i stopped. the day still happened. i still hurried from one thing to the next. but for a moment, out on the same sidewalk i scurry along most of the day, i stopped. i heard something. i felt strange as the people all kept hurrying past me. for a moment, i heard the sirens and woke up. and i knew i could stop again.
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boxes
Date: Jun 10th, 2008 4:08:41 am - Subscribe
I'm filling up my boxes with things. How did I get so many things? I didn't mean to. Somehow I just expanded. I had the room, so I got more stuff. A little piece of this equipment. An old guitar. Another bookcase. An old couch. Keep sorting. Keep tossing. Keep dropping off at charities. Keep carrying 'none of the above' stuff to garbage. And soon enough, there will just be a floor and a bunch of walls.
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