Frusterated to the core
Date: Mar 16th, 2007 10:04:31 pm - Subscribe
Mood: alone
What's playin: "Dreams In Digital" - Orgy

Damn damn damn damn damn

I feel so lost and confused.
I dont even kno where to start.

I guess we could start with the insane mood swings..
I one minute im happy as hell, singing and dancing, whatever....then i could snap my fingers and be so depressed i could quite literally kill myself. And i get upset over the tiniest things.
For example, today i went to the skate park at like 8:30pm with my 2 friends Vanessa and Dennis to practice. Well they got cold so we got in the car and just drove around for a bit. We come back, me and Dennis get out of the car, open the trunk and get our skateboards out. But Vanessa just sits in the car.
Im like "Dude, what are you waiting for?" and shes like "I dont wanna get out, its cold and my legs hurt."
And idk why but that made me so mad. I got so pissed, i threw my skateboard back in the trunk, slammed it, swung the car door open and yelled at her to get in the backseat and told dennis to "Get his happy ass back in the fucking car".
Everyones like "Oh you're probly bipolar" blah blah blah. I even did this test online: "Screening for Bipolar Disorder". It sed if ur score was higher than a 25 then theres a really good chane you have it. I got a 37. I told my mom..actually ive told her repeatedly that i think im bipolar and i wanna get it checked out and shes like "Oh no, you're a moody teenager, blah blah blah." Its really goddamn frusterating.

So im streesing from that trying to control my moods, as if the anger part wasnt enough i cry like everyday just out of nowhere. It bitesss.

And now im falling in love with my ex girlfriend all over again. The relationship the first time was terrible and shes a mich better friend. But its how she acts as a friend that makes me fall in love with her over and over. Shes so sweet at first and i can tell she likes me again....but idk wut to do. Should i try it with her again and see if its different or just ignore it?

And my ex bf likes me again too and i never really got over him in the first place. But hes coming back up from Florida this weekend and wants to talk to me with no one else around, "just us". and im like Ohhhhhh no. Hell probly tell me he still loves me like he did before he left and ill be all goo goo over him again. That would suck.

Oh and my ex gf is also like my best friend and she means a lot to me, more than she thinks but i havent heard from her all day. She left with her bro last night but sed she would call me when she got back but never did. Ive called her 4 times, stopped by her house and even had Dennis call her and still no answer. im gettin worried but i cant just break into her house and be like "Hey are you home?" and her parents dont answer the phone or the door so they're no help. Should i be worried?


i need help. bah!
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