boxeyboy's Blog

Says Sorry...
Date: Nov 9th, 2007 9:41:39 am - Subscribe
Mood: catatonic


Well, after three weeks in the hospital, two of which nearly dead I’m back.
I AM going to write about it all, but I may have to break it up into a few smaller parts because my brain healed faster than my body and my fingers can’t type as fast or for as long as they could last month.
I want to start this off by thanking my family and my friends, both near and far for everything. Especially those of you who prayed nonstop, I owe you guys more than you’ll ever know.
I want to personally thank Charlie Hamrick, Felicia Greene, Peter Groves, David, Anne and Fabian Morris for being stubborn asses and sitting in the waiting room for days on end waiting to see if I was going to live or die.
...
I want to thank my other half and for the first time she’s letting me use her real name instead of “Rachel”. I WANT TO THANK ERIN, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE FOR NOT LETTING ME DIE.! I want to thank my parents Edward Japheth Sheldon and Karen Grace Sheldon for not letting me die... And my sisters, although they didn't actually stay at the hospital (Shelly is terrified of hospitals)
...
YES! Her name is Shelly Sheldon, another branch of the Sheldon curse of bad names... But that's another story...
...
And I want to thank my dad and “Rachel” for being with me when I did.
...I'm hopefully going to be able to transfer the posts made on my OTHER BLOG to this one so the story will be more consistant.
...
I really do like to make my life public, don't I... Wow ... I'm a fame-nut...
...
Anyway ... I'll be back after a nap to finish this and post more of what happened, like I said, I'm tired and quite frankly it's taken me a long time to type this compared to my previous endevors...
Hell, my spelling sucks...


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Okay, RANDOM STUFF!
Date: Sep 10th, 2007 1:30:47 pm - Subscribe
Mood: random


I just realized I haven't posted in a while and a few people have even asked me if I've died or something...

I DID NOT DIE!!!

...

Okay, like I said, I'm posting a bunch or random stuff today because nothing interesting has happened since the whole DNA test thing.

...

My girlfriend is a virgin.

THERE I SAID IT!!!

She told me the other night, like just seconds before I thought I was going to have sex for the first time since the divorce and I was like OH MY GOD!

I've never had sex with a virgin before and quite frankly it scares the shit out of me. I'm a big sissy, I don't like pain and the thought of causing her pain THERE with THAT! Just turns me off so fast it hurts...

Am I weird?

GAH! I am, sue me...

(Not literally please.)

Well, now I don't know what to do, I mean she's REALLY great and she's told me before that she loves me but ... I'm not sure if I'm ready to love her yet...

...

I DO love her ... Its just, well I don't want to get my face stomped again and I don't want to do anything she'll regret if we don't work out...

?

Does that make sense?
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'Wolfy'
Date: Aug 22nd, 2007 2:14:36 pm - Subscribe
Mood: eh ... no words


Okay ... The results to the DNA test were delayed until this morning.

Rachel and I showed up at the hospital at nine AM, just like we were supposed to and guess what?

The doctor didn't come in until about eleven thirty.

I was scared shitless and then in walks Jen with this huge guy behind her carrying this TINY little girl with blonde hair, green eyes and dimples...

Blonde, green eyes and Dimples...

And as soon as I saw her I thought, 'HOLY SHIT ON SUNDAY! SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE ME!!!'

Rachel dug her fingernails into my arm and I noticed Jen had this really satisfied smug grin on her face.

So we sit down and are waiting, me so on edge I turned my fingernails backward on the arms of the chair.

I'm a compulsive nail-biter. I get nervous I rub my nose and bite my nails, that's how its been for years.

Well, just as we were about to give up on Charlie showing his face the door opens and he strolls in.

Which was a BIG shock, i seriously expected him to be shacked up in New Mexico with some busty redhead or driving around the North West in his little motorhome.

But, the always late Charlie shows up LITERALLY as the doctor was opening the envelope.

He grins like a possum (forgive the West Virginia Speak) then his face kind of falls off a cliff when he sees Nevaeh.

"Holy shit! She's got my ears!"

And Nevaeh claps her hands over her mouth and shouts, "He said a wordy-durd!"

Now, before I go on I want to string out the suspense a little longer and tell you about Charlie Hammrick.

Charlie and I, when we were kids, were often mistaken as brothers, when in fact Charlie and David Morris (another friend of mine) are more closely related than he and I.

Charlie had white blonde hair as a kid, and like me, has dimples. But, Charlie and his whole family (before they died) had brown eyes.

Anyway, back to the DNA test.

I was feeling the pre-pukes so badly I believe I was drooling.

You know, that shaky, sweaty, hot and cold feeling. When you start salivating so much you can barely swallow it all?

Ok, well, I was sitting there feeling massive pre-pukes and tapping my foot and wishing the stupid insert in my prosthetic weren't made of rubber because I was sweating like mad.

(Yes, I'm an amputee, but that's another story.)

Anyway.

Charlie sits down and I want to smack him because he's sitting there all relaxed and I'm practically having an panic attack.

The doctor opens the envelope and it takes like an hour it feels like and he reads over the results and looks up at Charlie.

And I know he's wondering why the hell Charlie was even there because Charlie didn't have a part in the test. He missed it.

But Jen insists the doctor read the results and I think thats when I stopped breathing.

Dennis got a negative and he kind of smiled sadly and rubbed Jen's back as if she needed comfort.

Then the doctor says my name and Rachel's fingernails bite into my hand again and Jen is grinning like the devil she is.

That sweet little tight lipped smile of hers and her eyes were boring into me and I honestly believed I was going to throw up.

Negative...

And Jen's smug expression shattered like a house of glass.

Her mouth came open and her jaw started working up and down like a fish out of water.

Then I look over at Charlie, realizing exactly what my negative meant.

His expression never changed. He just took up Jen's smug smile from the floor, dusted it off and slapped it on his own face.

I could almost hear his thoughts.

'What now, Bitch?'

And Jen just sat there her mouth opening and closing a soft clicking sound coming from her throat.

I honestly thought she was going to throw up!

But instead I laughed.

I had NEVER seen Jen not in control. I had never seen her NOT get her way.

And then I realized she herself had believed Nevaeh was mine and had counted on me being honorable enough to take full responsibility for her.

Charlie stands up, and takes Nevaeh into his arms.

I was in shock, being all whimpy and pre-pukey so I don't remember the entire conversation.

But I do remember Jen just sat there through the whole thing looking as if her world had just crashed in around her.

And you know what? I kind of felt sorry for her...

In a small, hidden kind of way. Mostly I just sat there all quiet not thinking about anything but how I was going to react when I woke up.

The conversation I missed out on ended with Charlie taking me, Rachel and Nevaeh out for lunch at this ice cream place.

I didn't eat much but Nevaeh ate her own sundea and Charlie's then looked up at him with chocolate all over her face and burped.

Then I laughed and realized she was Charlie's daughter, she had his stomach and his ears.

AND, I found this out as we walked out of the restaurant. She's got Charlie's grandma's green eyes.

Well ... Rachel and I got back to the apartment and the first thing I did was start crying.

Yes, I bawled my eyes out.

Part of me had hoped Nevaeh was mine. Part of me had wanted her to be my daughter so the pain of my own lost children would seem less.

But that wouldn't have been right. That wouldn't have helped at all.

So, after I cried for an hour I sat up and kind of got over it, so to speak...

I'm happy Charlie has a reason to stay now. I'm glad he's got someone he can call family.

And from the look on his face when Nevaeh called him her 'Wolfy' I'm pretty sure he's not going to be running anymore.

So, if anyone in my home town sees Charlie and Nevaeh say 'hi' and watch out. All that town needs is another Hammrick Kid running around causing trouble like Charlie and his sister did as children.

But, I suppose its about time someone started causeing a little trouble in the Hammrick name. And who better to do it than a four year old girl and her 'Wolfy'.
Comments: (1)

Inexorable Fuckshit
Date: Aug 15th, 2007 1:19:32 pm - Subscribe
Mood: #%@&$!


Okay, you guys, (jswhitni, and tron especially) I gave in and called Jen lastnight.

Rachel, my brand spanking new girlfriend of all of ... Fifteen-hours, tipped the scales and actually threw the phone at me saying, "I will never talk to you again if you do not call her!"

So, I sucked it up and I called her.

Yeah ... I'm shaking like a fucking leaf as I'm typing this and I've thrown up a couple of times thinking about it.

Before I tell you what IT is I'd like to let you in on a little secret.

When jswhitni mentioned HIV I freaked out. I literally FREAKED THE FUCK OUT! I could just see that happening, so when Rachel threw the phone at me I didn't hesitate I dialed Jen's number from memory, a memory I've tried desperately to block out but have been unable to do.

It rang fifteen times before someone answered.

I could hear the TV in the background playing something that sounded like Sponge Bob (Yes, I've watched Sponge Bob before, mostly when I'm really tired or a little drunk)

But I could hear the TV and then this little voice says "Hello?"

And then I hear Jen's voice really close by and my testicles kind of rose a little.

"Baby, give mommy the phone."

...

I managed to retain my macho exterior for about five seconds before I burst into tears.

Our conversation went something like this;

"You said it was life or death?"

She kind of hissed and I heard a door shut, kind of like she'd shut herself in the bathroom like I do sometimes when talking on the phone.

"Hi, Paul."

"So what's with this life and death shit, you don't have like some horrible disease do you?"

"No, I don't ... I just needed to talk to you. It's kind of important."

I wanted to scream 'well then fucking spit it out and stop this damned suspense I can't take it!' But I actually said, "What's so important that you had to track me halfway across the state?"

"I'm getting married, Paul... His name is Dennis and I need to clear up a few things before we tye the knot."

Then I did slip up and shout at her, "Fuckshit, Jen, what is all this about!"

...

And she told me.

REWIND!!!

Last time I told you how Jen's brother Alex sent me a message saying that Jen was recovering from an abortion?

Well, she never had the fucking abortion and there is a VERY good chance I have a four-year-old daughter named Nevaeh.

Do you understand why I threw up?

She's either mine, this guy Dennis' or (BIG SHOCK) Charlie Hammrick's.

It turns out she had just come from Charlie's when she found me that night in November.

And the life or death part of it??

UTTER AND COMPLETE BULLSHIT!

And because Charlie is currently on one of his 'Runnings' across the US in his little motorhome, me and this Dennis have to go to Charleston and have a DNA test to see who is the father of this little girl.

I FUCKING BAWLED MY EYES OUT after I got off the phone with her! She had four YEARS to tell me and she didn't...

Maybe it was my fault for not talking to her...

Shit...

Rachel had to stay over to make sure I didn't break my vow and go drinking again. (I've been alcohol free since August 1st.)

I know what I'll do if She's mine. It's the only thing I can do. I'll step up, I'll be a man about it all. I'm not scared about that... Not really.

The only thing that really scares me is that Nati got pregnant twice durring the durration of our marriage. The first time she had a miscarriage. The second time, she lost the twins in a car accident, the same car accident that rendered her unable to have children and ended our marriage. (But that's a different story.)

I have a thing about kids. I'm afraid of them. I'm afraid of how fragile they are and I'm petrified that if I ever have on it will end up making the same exact mistakes I've made and end up in a world of hurt.

...

Can you say paranoid delusional?

...

I don't know what to hope for... If Nevaeh's mine then OK, she's mine and I'll take full responsibility for her.

But if she's not ... If she's Dennis' ... I don't know what kind of life she'll have, if Jen and this guy will be good to her...

God, this is Maury Povich stuff here!

...

I think I'm going to go throw up again. We'll know Saturday or Sunday so... Yeah.

I just really don't know what to hope for...






Comments: (2)

Jen Murphy AKA the Pshyco-Bitch-From-Hell
Date: Aug 13th, 2007 11:33:17 am - Subscribe
Mood: pissy


Okay, this is the first time I've posted about 'Jen' on here so I'll explain a few things before I continue.

Jen Murphy was my first 'real' girlfriend. She was going out with my friend Charlie Hammrick when we were in college (1998.) and when Charlie's grandma died and he took off, the first of many subsiquent 'taking-offs' that have spanned his life since July 16 1998.

Well, when Charlie took off, Jen came to me and thus began our 'relationship'.

(Jen Murphy is the most beautiful, smart, SEXY woman I've ever met ... But she is also a liar and a bitch.)

It all started with her asking me to drive her back from the laundromat (spelling sucks I know) Well me, being the opitomy of good-guy-ness, I said sure and drove her back to the dorms.

WELL! Along the way she gives me an agonizingly slow handjob and I just keep driving all the way into the next town trying not to blow my top and wreck the car!

(Jen is a consumate Voyeurist ... She got me in so much trouble a few months later when she dragged me into the confessional booth and had her way with me while she was giving confession.)

Well ... We had an off and on hot-kinky-sex-only relationship from late 1998 to december 2003. Basically, she'd show up at my door every few months and tie me to my bed.

Then she'd steal something from me... It was just little things at first, books, my boxers a t-shirt or two ... But then, the last time, she took my shoes.

I have ONE pair of shoes that I consider my FAVORITE shoes. They're cheap, black canvas deck shoes with tan soles. You can find them at the 5 & 10 stores every once and a while and the particular pair I'm talking about I've had since I was 18. (yes I know you're saying 'HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE TEN YEAR OLD SHOES AND STILL WEAR THEM!!!' and I'm going to regretably say, 'yes' I do. They're falling apart, the soles are dry-rotted and OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN do they stink! lol, but they are MY shoes, the type of shoe they are says a lot aout me I think...

Yeah, REALLY smart Paul ... compare yourself to a pair of cheap stinky shoes...

Anyway, the last time we were together I woke up ductaped spread eagle to my bed and my shoes were gone.

(Why she wanted a pair of gross 10 year old shoes I'll never know)

Well ... This is a completely different story, but I shall allude to it because it is imperitive you know this small tid-bit of information before I can continue with the story...

I was going out with a woman named Liz in December of 2003 (about the time she took my shoes)

Liz was perfect ... She was sweet, hot, and could make a wicked chocolate-chip-cookie!

lol, me and food (I tend to eat a LOT, although to look at me you'd think I could be out-eaten by a humming bird)

Anyway... (god I'm ADD today!)

I was a complete ass-hole and I cheated on Liz with Jen that night. (Jen gave me this huge hickey on my chest, although how I don't know, I'm not going to lie, I'm not a very muscular man)

Well, a few days later, I'd been to chicken-shit to simply tell Liz about what I'd done, Liz and I are making out and I'm developing a pretty nice sized bone.

Well, Liz takes my shirt off and finds that hickey...

She gets mad, I don't blame her, I was ashamed of myself for succumbing to Jen's will and letting her almost successfully fuck-my-brains-out ... (God I love my way with words... [insert sarcasam here])

Well, Liz finds that hickey and starts crying, then me, being ever so clever, I say, "It was just sex! Of all people I would think YOU would understand that!"

(Yeah, Liz was separated from her husband, but still legally married at the time of our little ... affair, although we never did have sex.)

So, (we were standing at the door to my home at the time so I want you to picture it kind of dark, about nine thirty at night, in December, snow everywhere the stars out, cold as a witch's tit in a cast-iron bra, and Liz is standing there in the door, her breasts peeking through her shirt her big brown eyes full of tears and then I go and say something like that! (what I mentioned above)

She draws back her fist and punches me right in the face! (She broke my nose and knocked me out cold!)

So, I wake up a little-while later freezing with blood all over my face and my previously straight nose angled ever so slightly to the right. (thats why I have a little bump on my nose now, to remind me of my sins and to keep me from doing it again)

Well, I had to have my landlady pop it back into place because I don't have a very strong stomach and nearly threw up when I saw all the blood and my crooked nose. (I'm a squeamish little shit aren't I!)

Well, after that I didn't even talk to women for about a year ... well, it was a year wasn't it ... I didn't seriously go out with a woman until I met my now ex-wife Nati ... LONG STORY involving me, my kidneys, a longing to have healthy bones and an ignorance for not drinking enough water.

Anyway, back to Jen.

I got an email from her brother in May of 04
saying that Jen was doing good and she was 'recovering'.

Being the big dope that I am, I asked him what exactly she was recovering from.

Then he said she'd had an abortion and my mind went into overload.

I called her and asked her how she was.

She said she was fine, and I asked her if she had anything to tell me. She said no.

SO I told her what her brother had said and she said AND I QUOTE! "Oh, THAT!"

So I asked her if it was mine and she said "Yes, but-" So I hung up on her and bawled myself to sleep like a little brat.

She hadn't even told me I'd gotten her pregnant, and she'd gone behind my back and had an abortion...

Yeah, it messed with me a little... Still does.

I didn't see Jen again until november 2005 when she found me sitting infront of the grocery store where I worked suffering through the first stages of a rather nasty attack of appendicitus.

We talked and I basically told her it was over and I never NEVER wanted to see or hear from her again.

She squirted a few tears and said, "But Paul, I..."

And I told her to get back in her fancy little car and go away. (not in those terms but you get the idea)

Well, I didn't hear from her again until March of this year. Shortly after I resurfaced from my semi-suicidal drinking benge. (I'll tell you about it some other time)

She left a message on my machine saying we 'need to talk'.

I've sucessfully ignored her for five months but just the other day I got another message from her saying that 'it's a question of life or death'.

So, now I'm all depressed and pissed, I REALLY don't want to ever see or speak to her again, but something is telling me I NEED to talk to her.

The only problem is every time I've 'talked' to her in the past we've ended up having wild-hot-kinky sex, and quite frankly, I don't want to be that guy anymore. I was him for so long and I really don't like him.

But that urge to pick up the phone and dial her number is becomming increasingly harder to ignore...

Should I call her? Should I take that fatal step back to my past-self and reawaken the feelings I've tried so hard to hold at bay?

Or should I say 'fuck her' and get on with my life?

Getting on with my life may sound easy, but it's harder to do than you think...

Any advice would be greatly appriciated.
Comments: (2)

HARRY POTTER
Date: Aug 6th, 2007 1:53:25 pm - Subscribe
Mood: unwanted



Okay, I'm such a looser.
I just finished reading the last Harry Potter. I was kind of disappointed. It felt like she was rushing through everything ... like she couldn't wait to get it over with.

And I think that a few of the people she killed died without reason. I mean what was the purpose? What did it do other than shorten the cast?

Does anybody agree with me??
Comments: (2)

My OTHER Blog...
Date: Jul 31st, 2007 10:59:36 am - Subscribe
Mood: eh...


Okay, the site that hosted my other blog just like disappeared ... Is that normal?

SO! As of ... A few days ago, I have decided to relocate it. I'm not quite sure where ... Most likely here because I LOVE this site

***

Okay, I'm kind of ... Wordless today, which is VERY odd.

I'll come back when I have more to say.
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Homecoming Parade
Date: Jul 24th, 2007 12:49:49 pm - Subscribe
Mood: bemused


I'm pathetic ... I met this girl in June ... Well, to say I MET her is to be obscure ...

I was playing baseball with a few other guys on campus and when I hit the ball it landed right on top of her head and gave her a concussion.

We've hung out a few times, mostly in the company of her jackass of a boyfriend. Well, yesterday, she and I decided to go to the mall and look for the new Harry Potter ... Yeah, I'm a freak, reading kids books and shit...

(see upcoming rant; Kids Books + Paul = Pathetic)

Well, we find the book and neither of us have the money to get it, even put together, (we had sixteen dollars together, most of it was hers) so we got depressed and went to the petstore across the plaza and played with the ferrets for a while.

Rachel has this obsession with rodents. (squeaks)

Sorry, folks, bit of rodentia humor.

(yes, I am calling myself a rat because I'm REALLY sneaky)

lol, I'm in a good mood, sue me. (no don't, not really)

Well, she and I were playing with these ferrets and guess who walks in ... Her jackass boyfriend John (his name really isn't John but I am NOT going to give him the satisfaction of saying his Christian name!)

I'd call him Fuck-head if I felt like it, and I probably will before I'm finished ranting about the jerk.

...

Anyway, John comes up and grabs her by the arm. He starts whispering in her ear and his fingers are diging into her arm and she's got this 'ouchy' face on and I'm getting madder and madder by the second.

Rachel is only twenty and John is almost twenty-six ...

Yeah, I'm almost twenty-eight but I won't try and break her arm!

Then he leaves and she's standing there trying not to cry and I'm fucking pissed.

So, what do I do? I take her paintballing...
And what does she do? SHE KICKS MY ASS!

I think she was the one to shoot me in the crotch! (THANKFULLY I WAS WEARING A CUP SO THERE WAS NO 'DAMAGE')

But we had a blast!

She's pretty fun for a girl (no that is not a slur against women, I am only pointing out that she's 20 and I don't start considering females 'women' until their 21.)

...

Where was I going with this?



Ah, oh well.


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The Nature of My Beast
Date: Jun 16th, 2007 11:00:59 am - Subscribe
Mood: despondent


My name is Paul. In my lifetime I've had a number of things I believed to be true proven false. And I've also had quite a few things I once knew to be fiction proven fact.

I was born on August 27, 1979 and I'll probably die sometime there about in the near future.

I read books and write most of the time, and when I'm not reading or writing I'm working.

I am by no means comfortable in my existance, in fact I've tried a number of times to vacate this plaine. With little or no affect.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm severely depressed at the moment and will regret this entry as soon as I've posted it. But, thats the nature of my beast, so to speak. And I have lived with it for so long any different would seem alien to me.

I am a creature of repetition and constancy. Mr. Certainty is my best friend, and Mr. Uncertainty my greatest enemy.

But that's for another day.
Comments: (1)