Continued Life
Date: Feb 10th, 2007 12:52:24 am - Subscribe
Mood: diseased
Today was interesting. I stayed home from school because there was an elective’s fair and since I know what classes I plan on taking next year there was no need to attend. In the afternoon I went out with friends. D needed shoes because hers exploded off her feet. Poor kid. Such a life. I didn’t really get much. Just some stuff for Tituba the hamster and some candy from World Market. We had to take two cars because JS wanted to abide under 18 laws. So, I ended up driving Ash which wasn’t bad. We had fun listening to music and making fun of JS and D to their faces. There was a lot of laughs today but hanging out with people’s ultimate truth is that everyone is so harsh to each other. I don’t know if it’s just the environment I put around myself or am myself the cause of, but…
I’m just not sure about people sometimes. I hold very little self doubt. Maybe it’s because I don’t fear rejection. I’m no human pinnacle of perfection nor one to think of myself has having absolute confidence in everything I do and say, but I’m pretty well put together as far as most go.
I just don’t fit into this teenage angst environment any longer though. I’ll readily admit at one time I was deep into it. That constant want to be part, in, known, accepted. I’m not saying that those instinctive desires have been all together eradicated, but somehow they’ve simply been subdued by no conscience effort. It’s all just a matter of maturity I supposed. Maturity and a stable environment suitable for a child to grow up in. Thank you mother dearest. I know you’ve tried, there is no way ever for a child to repay their parents except with blessing and happiness. Anyway, back to my original point, I believe college will be a colossal change for me, but a good one that will put me in constant contact with those equal to me in understanding. Not to say that in intellectual level, for I know I am far from super intelligent. I just think those in college will have the same explorative nature as me. I doubt if all – but more than now. At least enough collectively joined together to be, well, a group of its own. Surprise, surprise for contradiction is one of the most baffling mysteries of the univers
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