Stepping Back
Date: Mar 9th, 2007 7:59:44 pm - Subscribe
Mood: curious
Current Tune: Imogen Heap - "Headlock"
Very often I find myself stepping back and seeing how lightly I connect to the world in which I’m surrounded. I interact, I get along, and am there, I do exist, unlike others who don’t seem too, they never speak and are always aware but honestly seem so desperate for life to thrust them into the middle of humanity. Above all it makes me wonder is the majority just not seeing what I see, this disconnection, and this absolute oneness with who I am and what no one else could ever be? Or do I just not know because like me that oneness is a private concern which is unrevealed to the functioning world? The only thing is that my disconnection is apparent. I’m not ‘normal’ of any standard. I don’t intermingle constantly conversing and sharing and experiencing with a multitude of people nor do I cling tight to my closet group of friends having constant ins and outs with them. It was almost a somewhat subconscious more so conscience decision to avoid these ways of life, for I have lived like this and both ways I found myself sad in miserable. Perhaps it was simply the inability to cope, for at the time I was much younger and knew so much less even thought it was only three years ago. The thing to consider is; I didn’t like being unhappy so I avoid that which makes me unhappy. Is this not what one would consider basic human instinct? No? For it seems to me a great majority unknowingly want to be unhappy and have themselves immersed in problems that aren’t so much as serious as they’re explanation and reaction may lead one to believe. One could then argue that this is in fact human nature, or perhaps if it were someone knowledgeable of human psyche they would say that is no so much human nature but human tendency depending on the situation in which they have grown to know understand – their uncontrolled perspective of life created and shaped by their upbringing and up-bringers.
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