| Take me away |
Nov 25th, 2006 9:27:05 pm - Subscribe |
| Mood |
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Upset |
| Music |
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Walls - Emery |
I got awoken around 2:40am by someone i hardly know telling me that someone i kinda know is going out with someone i dont know, and he is in love with her. Having to get up for work at 3am, im less than pleased at being awoken, and dont reply til after 3. I replied with my condolences to which he laughed in my face and said "what, huh? nooo no... this was a year ago" okay... so.... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TXT ME AT 2:40AM TO TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED A YEAR AGO...
So, overtired but ontime, i arrive at work to realize i forgot my hat and apron, both being rather important things in a bakery, Steve rushes off to get me a new set [cos he is nice like that] I quickly realize on my first break that im running out of drink and i have no money... so i txt my father, who i know is going into town, and ask him to drop off my drink, a few hours later, my second break comes around, im majorly dehydrated, extremely hot and tired, and i collapse into my car [where i like to sit on my break on warm days] to realize, my drink isnt there. so i txt my father who says "oh sorry i forgot" but doesnt offer me any way of getting a drink in the near future... infact pretty much doesnt care. 6 hours and no drink later, im almost in tears from the pain of having to slice bread for 6 hours, i collapse into my car and drive home. My parents arrive, and i calmly ask my mother what on earth possesed her to adjust the length of my trousers when i had clearly told her not to. at which point my father startes to yell and scream and swear at me.
Im shocked and angry, and immediately say to him, calmly, "we dont swear in this house" to which he throws something at me, tears out my internet router, disconnects me and walks away, screamed and swearing once more. My mother tries to console me with a "he was already angry" "it wasnt your fault" but deep down... its just another scar.
I get my internet back up, just for him to scream at me some more.
The last few weeks he has been angry, cos i never let him touch my arm. or even be close to me, i never hug him anymore, or even hardly look or talk to him. he complains that we arent close like we used to be. and doesnt understand why i dont want to be close to him.
but its times ilke these when i just want to leave when i want to get away and never come back. its the scars that are keeping me away from him. how can i be close to him when im constantly waiting... preparing myself for the next time he will hurt me...
Im terrified. of him. |
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