Back Pedaling
Date: Jun 2nd, 2008 7:31:50 pm - Subscribe
Mood: annoyed
Currently Reading: Lord of the Flies ( ISBN: 0-571-05686-5 ): Watching: Law and Order
Of all my greatest social pet peeves the act of back pedaling is by far one of the worst. We're humans and therefor prone to making mistakes. Even the most kind and loving of us will eventually fall prey to their natural feelings of anger and resentment and act upon them in an undesirable way. We can not watch our emotions and actions constantly and we will eventually end up saying or doing something that hurts the people we care about and in the case of back pedaling more often then not it was undeserved. Such unintended cruelty is fine so long as the aggressor is willing to admit their mistake and apologize for it, and if the victim is a true friend and cares as much about their aggressor as they claim then they should have no problem forgiving. Of course this is assuming that the nature of the incident is mild. A harsh word here or there. Worse circumstances however might not be so difficult to smooth over.
Yet it seems that very few people are willing to admit their mistakes and apologize for them. It seems as if the majority would rather die then admit their imperfections and that they're prone to hurting those closest to them without meaning to. Indeed instead of admitting their faults they would either deny that they ever did anything wrong ( which is reprehensible in and of itself ) or they will attempt to back pedal.
They will claim that, that wasn't what they meant, that it was merely a joke, that they weren't being serious, that it was taken out of context, that the person is being over sensitive and they didn't mean to be that serious. They almost seem to place blame on the victim and their lack of ability to understand 'what was really said' while making themselves out to be the real victims of circumstance. It's far more reprehensible then just trying to brush it off as if they haven't done anything in the first place.
People need to start learning to take responsibility for their actions. If you make a mistake then you must admit it and take what punishment you will for your actions. If I get a ticket for speeding then it's my own fault for breaking the law and not the officer who is doing his job ( reguardless of any hostile conduct he might show while doing it ). Likewise if I insult a friend either without meaning to or on purpose I need to take responsibility for that. I must admit that I was the one in the wrong and I should be the one to deal with the consequences of my words and actions. I'm tired of seeing fools trying to pawn off their cruelty and incompetence on others. This goes far beyond just friendship as well yet I would prefer to hold off on that for another time. This is about back pedaling and there is a whole other tangent I could go off on taking responsibility. In the end back pedaling is just a way to avoid that which is what makes it so angering.
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