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chellie Am I loved? - Subscribe
ok, ok... i know i'm loved. but tonight i wanted to do an experiment on msn messeger. i logged on tonight.. and just sat and waited. in the mean time i put together a schedule of solo and ensemble stuff. but i wanted to wait and see who would talk to me... rather than me start the conversation. i know its kinda silly... but i have been on for an hour at least and only one person has talked to me. Holly my sweet... and she just got on a few minutes ago. to those of u on msn that are reading this... don't feel bad, i just wanted to do this for my own purposes.

today... ugh i didn't get up in time to take my morning shower... and my whole day has been off bcuz of it. i was crabby the first 3 classes, and i could barely eat lunch. then 7th hour in phy ed we had a ski race... i almost threw up like 3 times the whole way... and i just did not feel good at all. at the end i didn't even take my skiis off, i just fell over in the wet melting snow. my p.e. teacher just laughed at me... how nice of him.

kk adam just started talkin to me... cheese took him long enuf.... jk

im so excited! i get to lift weights in phy ed tomorrow!!! ooh yes!! so lookinn forward to it
5 Comments
Mood: unloved
Music:: reliant k

chellie Ow... Feb 2nd, 2005 5:30:49 pm - Subscribe
I am so tired... i couldn't fall asleep until after 12:30 last night... at least that's the last time i remember looking at my alarm clock. i was up wrestling with thoughts... overthinking everything.. school this morning was pretty good though. i am really starting to love my micro computer apps II class!! i made my own postcard/invitation today. its for a ficticious movie night, but perhaps i will have to really have a movie night soon. i haven't had one in a while. i wanna hang out with joe a lot this year before he changes schools next year. so sad... i will miss him terribly. sad.gif but i don't blame him for wanting to switch schools so badly. i'd go with him, but i am much hated at that school. i'd rather go to another one in a nearby town... tho it would be a 20 minute ride there everyday. my school isn't the greatest... there are such mean people. and lately the topic of great discussion has been sex. everything is about sex. i can't go to a single class without hearing about it, except for micro computer apps II.. maybe that's another reason i like it so much. ooh! i got to lift weights today! it felt sooo good, but yet hurt so bad at the same time. i was forced into lifting with the "athlete" power lifters. i have to do a certain number of certain lifts each day. cleans, squats, bench, and dead lift. but im mr. lenz's teacher's aid, so hopefully, i can find a way to do my own thing. i have sorta weak wrists and i hurt my back skiing, so it was pretty rough on me today. i did a lotta crunches, and it feels soo good on the tummy. it kinda hurts a lil tho now. but it'll all be worth it when i have a nice six pack!

ugh... i have been so emotional lately. i both love it and hate it. i suppose it might be about that time.... but i'm never this bad. i can be super hyper for a while... and then completely down. more the latter. all the stress of solo and ensemble, and all the yelling at home, all the class scheduling, it's all just caving in. im sorry to anyone who has to put up with me through this time, and if you don't wanna talk to me for a while i completely understand. i wouldn't talk to me either.

ugh.. im also goin thru chocolate withdrawal... i think im gonna have to buy some m&m's at youth group tonight.
3 Comments
Mood: emotional
Music:: forward motion, relient k

chellie Fire! Feb 3rd, 2005 11:52:32 pm - Subscribe
Today started out to be an ordinary day. i went to bed early last night *yes* woke up late, but it was worth it. stressed out a bit about scheduling for next year (that i still don't have done... grrr... i will never be done with that. its due monday) then after school a trusted a kid who just recently hit a semi to drive me to kwik trip (yeah i know, what was i thinking?) but i got a whole lotta mints cuz i am giving up chewing gum for lent. so i think mints will hold me over. anyways... i went back to school and kept book for the 7th and 8th graders basketball games. wow, sometimes the way my sisters play, some of the things they do, i just cannot believe how we are related!!! but yeah the interesting part is coming. i came home to do barn chores and i get a call from work. ok, whatever, so i go in. and then esther (the cook) tells me that i had to come in because my friend briana sliced her finger way open using a can opener (she never has been able to master using one of those!!) she wound up getting six stitches. so yeah... bad enough there. then we all smell this horrible stench! and we can't figure out where its coming from. it smelled like something burning. al (the boss) went upstairs to check on the dryer. he took the towels out... and they were pretty hot, but it was fine. he came back downstairs and checked everything else out.. it was all fine. so he called an electrician, but they would be a while. and then this blue-like haze went through the hallway. he went back upstairs to the towels in the basket and they were smoldering! like really bad! so he hurries them outside and we hosed them down for a good ten minutes!! so freaky. i mean, i could be out of a job right now if the place had burned down!!

last night at youth group was sooo much fun. its kinda weird how it came to be fun. but it was. february is "love month" at youth group, and heath (my youth pastor) starts out by playing love shack... yes our youth center is referred to as the love shack for february. and the stinkin song has been stuck in my head for like forever since he played it. and anyway... we got this huge talk on sex. yes sex. it was great.. like the way he put things into perspective. and i have 4 more weeks of it, i think... the rest of the wednesday's in february anyways. im looking forward to it... i know that might sound weird, but i am. and then afterwards... i got to talk to my friend sarah bout some deep stuff relating to love and past experiences, good and bad. mmm...i love her.. i wish i could talk to her more, but she lives in a nearby town and i only get to see her once maybe twice a week if im lucky!!
1 Comments
Mood: swell
Music:: reliant k, what else?

chellie Just me Feb 4th, 2005 6:04:57 pm - Subscribe
ah, today was a nice day.. not a good day, but a nice day. i entered school really excited. my friend, austen, who is in the process of beating cancer, wasn't wearing his hat like usual. there was actually hair o his head!! i was soo happy for him. he wasn't in a very good mood, and i didn't know how he would react if i commented about it. so i didn't say anything. later on today, i found out that a senior girl, who just so happens to be pregnant, turned him in for wearing his hat to school bcuz he had hair. the agreement was that he couuld wear his hat until his hair came back. its still not completely back... and that... horrible girl.... ugh.. i just wanna beat on her. it made me so mad that she would do something as low as that. the kid almost died like twice!! and she has the guts to do that! man, i don't know how if i will feel sorry for her at all when she starts to show and gets the dirty looks and comments. not cool at all....

i almost forgot how much i hate riding the bus home at night until just a lil bit ago. i was trying to sleep, and all the bumps!! i mean, these are not lil bumps!!!! my butt is still hurting, i sit in the back seat so i get the brunt of it all. not good. and to top it all off, im still sore... i lifted more weight today, but not so much ones that would put any pressure on my back. and lenz (teacher) wasn't there to yell at me when i slacked off a bit cuz he was supervising arena football... so for a lot of the time i did curls with briana. ooh the tummy hurts to laugh, but feel soo good, i can' t wait for the six pack!! ouch, ok don't feel for it, its still sore!

brrr.. i am sooo cold!! im dressed up for the game tonight. my lil cheerleading outfit. no im not a cheerleader, but its fun to dress like one. my red mini skort and white t-shirt. hopefully it will be hot in the gym, well at least warm anyways! and this is one game we should win... should win!! we don't win too many during basketball season, but this team hasn't won a game yet this season.. so we shall see where we really stand.
3 Comments
Mood: gelatinous, does this mean i feel like jello?
Music:: i can only imagine, mercy me

chellie Where\'s Adam Feb 4th, 2005 11:22:25 pm - Subscribe
AGHHHHHHH!!!!!! as soon as the game got done tonight i hurried home, well sorta not really... but i wanted to get home asap so i could talk to adam tonight... and what's this? adam's not even on!!!!! he's always on!!! anyone seen him?

anyhoo... the game was kinda boring... the only reason i went is cuz i promised joe i would. poor kid, he didn't even wanna be there really either. but oh well. we won! its all good. i was bored throughout the game, but as soon as me and briana went to drive home.. i got this major sugar buzz!! we went to cenex to fill up with gas... and we could not figure out the stupid gas card. u know the one where you pay outside? we were punchin in the numbers like a million gazillion times and it would not work... so we're like 'screw it' lets go inside. so yeah, we paid inside... i guess you had to be there for it to be funny. oh yeah and then we were sittin at a stop sign waitin for forever for traffic in our lil town of 1000 people. and briana's like, 'i can beat this car' and im like, 'no just wait' it was a good thing she did cuz it just so happened to be a cop! haha, so funny.

*****aaaahhhh adam where art thou?*****

hmmm... oh yes!! in 21 days i am goin to the kalahari with briana!! yay!!! its a indoor water park in the dells. and a hotel and a movie theater, and basically a whole lil indoor town. its awesome, we went last year too. man we had way too much fun. the three of us that go, none of us can sing. but we get sugared up at least one night on n/a strawberry dacquiries and go sing karaoke. yeah the place pretty much empties out when we come in. haha, but its so much fun. and last time we met this really hot lifeguard who was running it. he was really nice for the afternoon, hung out with us and played go fish til like 1 a.m. we got his msn but everytime he's on, he basically ignores us. he has never once said anything to us. jerk.... but yeah, it was fun for the day! if we see him there, we are so giving him the cold shoulder, not that he would remember us anyway.. haha.
1 Comments
Mood: spazzy
Music:: dancing with the angels, monk & neagle