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Ok. I have no idea why I went through and edited all of my old entries, except the three before this, so there wasn't anything in them at all. I shoulda kept them. I can't even remember why I did that now -_- I guess I'll just start it anew then. Not that anyone reads (other than zebz :3) but I guess it'll be useful for me to get stuff on here. I have an AS music exam today. I've never been so scared/worried/nervous about an exam in my life. I still don't actually get what I'm gonna be doing in the exam. There'll be an essay on this mozart, something to do with pop music and some kind of aural thing which I dunno. But, I recently got an SMS (student monitoring sheet) for music, because of an essay I forgot, and because of that I'm already on thin ice with my tutor where music is concerned. He says I need to work alot harder I want to do music at uni. Aaannnnd well, I've kinda been missing most of the extra sessions that have been put on for music v.v; I dunno why. I just have. Anyway. I'm worried I'll do really bad and the college will complain that I'm not hitting my target and that have to leave T-T It's probably an overreaction. But. Gah. I hate predicted grades anyway. The people who do them have never met you. I mean, all Bs - that's what I'm predicted, whereas MY ideal would be all Cs. And then there's Mam keeps saying that I better get above a B (aka I better get As or else!) I remember when I got my results for my theatre exam; a B. I was so happy, and I'd even got the highest in my group! (something to be pretty proud of I hought considering there were people in my group who had done it at GCSE and got As). And I told Mam, so happily. And she was just like "Oh. Ok." And. She just wants As. I'm sick. Of being the top student. The one who gets As all the tme. It's too much pressure. But, I've already set my standard too high and now anything below that will just dissapoint my parents v.v ...maybe I shoulda gone to Johnstone... But. Then I wouldn't have ANY free time whatsoever, two of my subjects would be ones that bored me, I would have to stay in school in my free lessons, I'd have to wear an ugly uniform, have to put up with a snobby music teacher. But. I'd get As. I bet. If I don't get As, I'll have aloada people telling me that I should have gone to that school instead and it was a great opportunity and I shouldn't have turned it down etc. I wish they could see that there are more important things than grades. At least, to me. |