|
Moved back to LJ for a while, hence my absence, lmao. Lots of things are playing on my mind lately, things that hapened from, mm, August last year, up to May this year maybe? Probably because of Gordon or Zachary or w/e his name. He can't help it, and has no idea, and never will. But because of it I keep thinking of yosh and ant and ugh it's doing my head in. And then theatre again. and just ugh. And I'm stressing out about school. I manage to stay calm during the day, but I almost always break down when I'm in bed trying desperately to sleep. I keep having dizzy spells too which isn't helping matters. And sitting on the laptop for hours at a time is really doing my head in too. When it was in my room I could just leave it running whilst I went to do something else but I can't and that's really pissing me off too. And I don't want to sit in here anymore. Dad always manages to piss me off whenever he works Nat even if he's not talking to me and it's all just building up and fjkgfdlgj; And gawd these bags under my eyes are awful ;______; I'm sleeping even less than I used to and it's starting to affect my schoolwork now. I'm always late if I have a first lesson...even if it's not first, I still manage to oversleep and be late. And I can't focus in lessons. And I just can't make myself do my work outside of lessons. And I'm supposed to be doing 3 songs, auditioning for a 4th, on top of all the choir stuff at the next choir concert and I don't think I can do it. More when I get home. |
|
Tooo many concerts ;______; I bet I die before Christmas comes T^T |
| And back I go to LJ. Really gotta make my mind up already XD |
|
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztN8G8gLADw&feature=related This. <3 Need to make up my mind what to sing on Friday already. I'm so bad at this XD When I'm a famous singer, I'll hire someone to do it for me :B I doubt I'll get paid since it's a choir concert, but Stephen was meant to be doing solos on his accordion and he's not a member so I'm sure he would be, so fingers crossed if I do a good performance they might pay me? ^^; I thought about Lascia ch'io pianga because I'm good at it, and it contrasts with Voi che, but I don't really like it. I don't have much else that would be appropriate I think? I'm considering learning the Schubert setting of Ave maria and doing that but I'd have to spend a lot of time on it tomorrow so that I'd definitely know I could do it, and I'm not even sure if I have the music... I really needed these two days extra off school but I don't think it's enough, I want it to be Christmas holidays already... then again, I'll be studying for my first psychology exam so maybe it won't be so much of a break D: I wonder if my old college ever plans on giving me my certificates. This better not end up with them losing them or something =/ Belmont probably already has for my musical theatre >.> I need to tidy my room tomorrow. I should probably get up bright and early and have it done with by lunch then spend the rest of the day singing. But I loved the lie-in this morning, I laid and daydreamed of Keegan, and it was amazing x3 I'm not sure I want to do this amateur operatic society thing anymore. Sure, it's great experience doing properly staged shows, and it's a very small fee compared to most places I could go to do them. But, I feel out of place completely. There's only 2 other people around my age and they pay little attention to me. Everyones lovely and talks to me, but I have nothing to say aside from the answers to their questions of where Mikey is. I mightn't have cared if he'd stayed, at least then I'd have someone to talk to and not be lonely. I guess I'll just put up with it until this show is over, at least, and see where it goes from there. There's one lady expecting me to audition for a part but I don't think I should. I've got a load of backing tracks and I wanna try recording some things, but my microphone still does that silly beepy thing, and I'm never in private to do it. I can't do it at night because people are asleep, and during the day, I want to talk to Keegan so that's no good because I have to be downstairs where it's noisy and I can't record. I'm probably getting a live account for Christmas but after months of thinking, I still have no idea what to put as a name XD It was hilarious going to see new moon. The fangirls were worse than I expected, gasping and giggling so much when Jacob took off his top, and then at the end when Edward asked her they were all "OMG O.O! <333" but they kept me entertained. I don't have much else to say, although I want to keep writing. I think it's long enough as it is though. |
| Tonight is one of those nights where I feel as though someone has ripped a whole through my chest that could only be fixed by you. I love you. And I miss you more than ever. I'll always be yours. Can't wait to see you again. x |