Just
Date: Jul 5th, 2009 8:55:45 am - Subscribe
Mood: desperate
God I'm so tired
All day I've been going dizzy. I thought maybe it was heat exhaustion or something but I feel like I haven't stopped drinking, I'm so thirsty, constanty, so you'd have though if it were the amount of water I've had would have helped.
I tried to have a nap earlier but I just drifted in and out of sleep for half an hour, with these terrible dreams about people close to me hurt or upset, or me being attacked or chased etc.
And then when I finally started to drift off peacefully Mam came in and told me off for being asleep and telling me it's no wonder I haven't been getting any sleep if I'm sleeping during the day but I haven't been yet I'm still not sleeping. I just wanted, what, an hours respite, so maybe I could have the energy to do something, anything.
So instead I've sat and watched Rent, an I haven't finished it yet, I'll probably go back to watching it after I've written this. Or not. There's not much point seeing as Mam started to list things that made her cry in it (eg characters dying) when I told her I was watching it so I might as well just not bother anymore.
I've been crying all day, thugh no-ones realised yet, I've kept out the way.
I just want to sleep already. But I bet when it gets to a suitable time where I won't get wrong for trying to sleep I'll be wide awake again.
Earlier I even ate tea, despite having no appetite whatsoever, and the sight of the food making me sick. I did that because I feel like I want to starve myself again to make myself feel better, even though I should be using other ways to cope, and if I skip one meal, it'll just be a matter of time before I start skipping them all again.
II just want this dizziness and fatigue to go away already. And I hope it's a lack of sleep and not some other problem that's causing it ;-;
Comments: (0)
