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Dear, I'll stay gold just to keep these pasts at bay To keep the loneliest of the nights from claiming you and to keep these longest day from waking you For I felt the greatest of winters coming and I saw you as seasons shifting from blue to gray Thats where the coldest of these days await me and distance lays her heavy head beside me There I'll stay gold, forever gold -c- 
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wow. i have a killer new template, do i not?!?! this is TOTALLY due to my friend 'amigone' on aeonity who is an html/css god. she did my entire background and site for me... i gave her certain things and she re-coded it all for me. you rock amigone.  as for life, well, as of now.. i am incredibly bored on a daily basis. i have no job. my money is slowly dwindling. etc. i had my interview today and i have mixed emotions/feelings about it.  so i dont know... part of me says it went good, then part of me says it could have gone better... plus the fact that major jamerson said that this line of work wasnt for everyone kinda bothers me.. i hope he wasnt trying to give me a hint to get lost...  dad seems to think they might hire me because dr. miller contacted major jamerson and gave him a good word on me. i just spoke with dr. miller and he said i have as good a shot as anyone does so i guess that helps.. i just REALLY REALLY hope that i get the job so EVERYONE that reads this just once or hits my blog daily, KEEP ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! Lord knows i need it... i also spoke with officer jones today with the atlanta police department and he said that everything looks good for me there and he is just waiting on certain things to come back, like my reference checks and everything he mailed out to the references i listed. i am pretty sure i am gonna get an offer there. and if i get an offer there, the difference is this.. i will be hired as a police officer and NOT correctional officer, like i would be at the washington county sheriff's office. so i guess both have their advantages, etc. i am just hellbent on wanting to stay here in upper east tennessee. i just have something with this town. something i cant really explain. its odd. no one here is close to me romantically or biologically. however, i just am dying to stay here. its like i just have something with the mountains here. i love being around this terrain and feel close to it. its almost a jack london type of elocation. if you dont understand that then... well you dont understand it. anyways, if i get offered here. i am going to stay here for good. i wanna work in the correctional facility for a while and then get out on the road as a deputy sheriff. whereas, in atlanta, with the PD there, i would go straight into the police academy and be out there busting johns, hustlers, and whores non-stop. either way, i guess i will be ok. i just really wanna stay here more than anything. so keep me in your prayers. oh yea, everyone needs to listen to the band 'converge.' i assure you that you will feel like someone is going to kill you, or a serial killer is stalking you late at night.. ahhh, such a crazy and chaotic band. |
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people. if you want to read about a fucked up summer that my friend and i both have many regrets and non-nostalgic sentiments of, please retire to his blog that i have convinced him to come back to and start using again... i think we can expect an etnry from him sometime soon. here is his address. add him as a friend and comment on his crazy entries. http://www.aeonity.com/moody_man   
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This is love, this is me, this is who I am This could be something more, don't you understand all that's left is regrets and an empty hand I'm here alone, for you I'm waiting How could you tell me that your heart belongs to me then walk away Then I could say anything but anything won't make it ok, won't make it ok If I had, had the chance, chance to change your mind I'd have you for myself, anytime I'd like Story ends with a kiss and a sad goodbye I'm here alone, for you i'm waiting For someone who said they're here till the end just vanished and left me for granted so is this the end? |
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i am too anxious. everyday i hope that i get hired at a police department. everyday i check the mail, hoping someone has hired me. today i went over to unicoi county and talked to a couple of investigators. they were fine men. very nice fellas. i missed kent harris though, he was out in a meeting or something. he is the high sheriff of unicoi county. and i keep hoping that he will hire me.. i am about to just say fuck it and go to the police academy in cleveland if i dont hear something from atlanta by march. because once i get that certification, i can and will get hired for sure. i am so sick of this waiting around bullshit. but then again, like my dad said, hell, its only been a month since i graduated. yet, i am doing exactly what i swore i would never do.. work a bitch job WITH a 4 year college degree... that just pisses me off. there is such a need for more police officers to be on the streets.. and yet the government refuses to fund law enforcement agencies more than the little that they do... this pisses me off to no end. homeland security... in iraq? wtf! thats where our homeland security funds are going.. to fight a pointless and losing war on the other side of the world. that is bullshit. george bush is a complete moron. i just hope that a democrat gets in office that cares more about what is going on here IN THE USA than what is going on in a shithole desert nation. if we want this nation more secure, we need to beef up the border patrol, hire more police officers, beef up customs and I.C.E., etc.. NOT FIGHT A WAR IN IRAQ! but for me to sit here and bitch about it pointless in and of itself. i still have no job. i am on a budget of just spending what its costing me to eat and that is the epitome of sadness. this is the most boring and worst time of my life. i have nothing to do and all i ever seem to do is be taking police tests. this shit is getting way past OLD.
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