cop's Aeonity Blog - September 2005

Archives: August 2005, September 2005
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cop ready for bed - Subscribe

ronnie's wedding went well. i was there for not too long but it was nice. i met the judge that arrainged jennifer and george hiatt. remember, those 2 fucks who killed the correctional officer in roane county tennessee? well judge austin married my aunt oam and uncle ronnie. he was cool. he gave me his card and said he would write me a letter and help me get on the tennessee highway patrol. i was excited to hear such news. my uncle ronnie has many political ties in nashville and in washington d.c. it is nice to be able to have some political pull when you have to use it to get a job in this political state.. i am just glad that this state is run by democrats... i dont need to say anything more on that. the republicans have fucked this nation on the federal level, that wont happen in tennessee. bredeson wont let it happen. i hope and think he will win re-election. anyways, tonite was mundane for the most part. i swear, sometimes i feel so used... i get so tired of it.. i mean at work i get this motherfuckers that always kiss ass because i am a police officer... then girls and friends of boxes sexes use me for THEIR needs and then they ditch me when they are through.. i am not necessarily bitching.. i am just expressing what i feel like sometimes... someday this shit will all fall down, the girls/friends using me part, or more realistically, i just wont give a shit anymore... and i will be over it all. the police officer kiss ass shit will persist until the day i am killed in the line of duty or die an old man.. i know that and trying to change it is a waste of time.. so is typing this so i am going to bed because its 444am and i am remotely tired... black and ferret get in town tomorrow and we are going to play some basketball.. i am also going to head down to headquarters and talk to mitchell about some shit we are going to be working on.. other than that i am open to about anything... goodnight angels and thugs.

1 Comments
Mood: apathetic
Currently Playing:: INGRAM HILL

cop sunday afternoon Aug 28th, 2005 2:03:02 pm - Subscribe

its a nice day outside here in east tennessee. i got a voicemail from black earlier today and he said in it that he and ferret are going to be heading back up here sometime today... so i expect to be getting in some good basketball games here before too long.. i just cant believe that school starts tomorrow... i mean shit. i cant believe its here.. i guess i am glad to have something to do, academically speaking and all but still... i am just ready to do police work FULL TIME and not have to go to school. the more and more i think about it, i think that i am going to end up staying here in johnson city at the JCPD. i have an offer with the Virginia State Police and all and i am scheduled to take the Tennessee Highway Patrol exam on September 8th, but to be honest, i love this department and i love working here in this town for some reason. the JCPD has the best equipment out there available to police officers and they take care of their officers as well. i am also getting this new Thompson .45 from moody. he bought it off this guy he knew and it is a very nice gun... he is going to give me a very good deal on it, a deal that i cant pass up.. only problem is.. its heavy as hell. its got this killer barrel on it so it takes down alot of the recoil that can cause you to miss your target slightly. its a very tight gun. and plus you can never go wrong with a .45 caliber. a .45 and a .357 are my favorite guns. if i go to VSP, we carry Sig Sauer .357 USP. they are UNREAL firearms. plus the pay is better in virginia. they take better care of their law enforcement than tennessee does for some reason. oh well. i am listening to this new cd that i got a few days ago.. its by a band called THE BLED. they are extremely heavy and very rocking. good shit. i bought it at best buy for $7.99. i love getting new releases for $7.99 or $6.99. that makes my day for some reason. anyways, there is something that a friend showed me a second ago that really fucking makes me mad. if you want to be pissed off too, then enter this url in your address box and click on over...

http://www.volunteertv.com/Global/story.asp?S=3767429&nav=4QcHdlHx

i DARE these motherfuckers from some fucked up baptist church in Kansas to come to east tennessee. they wont leave this state. well they will, but in a body bag... my fellow east tennesseeans wont allow this liberal bullshit and radical religious shit to commence here in our blessed land... we are packing for war it looks like.

0 Comments
Mood: livid
Currently Playing:: the BLED - found in the flood

cop joke of the day Aug 28th, 2005 4:47:50 pm - Subscribe

While I was driving down the A19 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
"Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work".
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well" I said, " I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it's about six feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."

Speeding ticket: $105.00

Court costs: $45

Look on copper's face: Priceless

0 Comments
Mood: glorious
Currently Playing:: dishwalla

cop I AM BORED AS SHIT SO I DID THIS. Aug 28th, 2005 7:29:52 pm - Subscribe

1. What is your occupation? POLICE OFFICER/CRIMINAL JUSTICE MAJOR @ ETSU

2. What color is your underwear? BLACK

3. What are you listening to right now? ALMOST PERFECT - INGRAM HILL

4. What was the last thing you ate? PIZZA AND BREADSTICKS FROM PIZZA HUT WITH MOODY

5. Do you wish on stars? FUCK ASTROLOGY. WISHING ON STARS IS TOO LITERARY FOR ME.

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? BLUE. BUT COPS DONT USE CRAYONS.

7. How is the weather right now? RAINING IN TENNESSEE @ DARK 30.

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? KIM

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? NO. I STOLE IT FROM AN X-FRIEND, I GUESS I COULD CALL HIM.

10. How old are you today? 21, YOUNG FRESH, & RIPE COP.

11. Favorite drink? I WISH I COULD SAY WATER.. PROBABLY MTN. DEW AND BEER.

12. Farthest you've been away from home? HAWAII

13. Have you ever dyed your hair? YES, BLONDE B/C I WAS A BITCH.

14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? YES, GODDAMMIT. BUT NOT FOR LONG. LASIC EYE SURGERY IS COMMENCING SOON, GOD-WILLING.

15. Pets? NO.

16. Favorite month? FEBRUARY. I WAS BORN IN FEBRUARY. IT SHOULD BE EVERYONE'S FAVORITE MONTH FOR THIS REASON AND NO OTHER REASON, ALONE.

17. Favorite food? I DON'T KNOW. ANYTHING THAT IS AMERICAN. POSSIBLY A CAESAR SALAD, IRONIC?

18. What was the last movie you watched? HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE FOR THE 84732987401401 TIME.

19. Favorite day of the year? FEBRUARY 7TH.

20. What do you do to vent anger? SHOOT MY GUNS. LISTEN TO UNDEROATH AND THE BLED.

21. What was your favorite toy as a child? THIS G.I. JOE THAT I LOST ABOUT 16 YRS AGO IN MY CLOSET.
22. Fall or Spring? FALL.

23. Hugs or kisses? KISSES - DUH. ONLY BECAUSE THIS LEADS TO OTHER SEXUAL THINGS.

24. Cherry or Blueberry? HATE EM BOTH.

25. Do you want your friends to fill this out? YES, ONLY BECAUSE I WAS BORED ENOUGH AND DID.

26. Who is most likely to respond? MOODY? MOODY?

27. Who is least likely to respond? NO CLUE.

28. Living arrangements? MINE AND MOODY'S TOWNHOUSE HERE @ EVERGREEN TERRACE.

29. When was the last time you cried? THE OTHER DAY PROBABLY.

30. What is on the floor of your closet? PLASTIC DRAWERS, GUNS, SUITCASES, GUNS, BOOTS, AND A FEW MORE GUNS.

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? TAYLOR DEVANE.

32. What did you do last night? LISTENED TO MUSIC, WENT TO A WEDDING, AND CLEANED A FIREARM.

33. Favorite smell? SEX. OR BANANA REPUBLIC COLOGNE. EITHER OR...

34. What inspires you? MUSIC, LAW ENFORCEMENT, JESUS CHRIST. (REALLY HE DOES)

35. What are you afraid of? AIDS & CANCER. OTHER THAN THAT, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? CHEEESE.

37. Favorite car? MY CIVIC THAT WAS RECENTLY SHOT BY A THUG WITH A 9MM WHILE DOING A PROSTITUTION STING.

38. Favorite dog breed? PIT BULL. OR ANY POLICE DOG.

39. Number of keys on your key ring? 6.

40. How many years at your current job? NO YEARS, BUT I HAVE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE PREPARING MYSELF TO BE A POLICE OFFICER. THE YEARS WILL CLOCK IN THEMSELVES, GOD WILLING... (KNOCK ON SOME WOOD)

41. Favorite day of the week? FRIDAY AFTERNOONS.

42. How many states have you lived in? 1. THE BEST OF THEM ALL, THE GREAT STATE OF TENNESSEE. SOON I WILL BE MOVING TO VIRGINIA, POSSIBLY, TO WORK FOR THE VIRGINIA STATE POLICE.

43. How many cities have you lived in? 2. CLEVELAND/CHATTANOOGA AND JOHNSON CITY.

44. Who inspires you the most? CLARK HOLLIN TUCKER. AND JESUS

45. What is your most prized possession? MY LIFE, MEMORIES, BADGE, AND FIREARMS.

46. How many more days till my bday? I AM NOT ABOUT TO CALCULATE THAT SHIT. FEBRUARY 7TH, U FIGURE IT OUT.

47. What is your dream job? BEING A POLICE OFFICER.

48. What was the last book you read for fun? SOME COP BOOK.

49. And what are you doing right now? LISTNEING TO A MIXTAPE AND DOING THIS SHIT. BUT NOW I AM NOT.

3 Comments
Mood: liberated
Currently Playing:: ANBERLIN

cop Kel-Tec 9mm Aug 29th, 2005 2:38:42 pm - Subscribe

today is a good day. i went down to mahoneys to get this gun i have been looking at... it is a Kel-Tec Model P-11 9mm. this is the lightest and smallest 9mm in the world!!! it looks so nice. they have an amazing buy on it at mahoneys over in north johnson city. i went to the website to research this gun and heres what i found... oh yea, here's a picture of my gun. this is the PERFECT weapon for undercover work.

The P-11 is a semi-automatic, locked breech pistol, chambered for the 9 mm Luger cartridge.
The firing mechanism is double action only. The magazine has a 10 or 9 round capacity. The Kel- Tec P-11 is the smallest and lightest 9 mm ever made. Thanks to its locking dynamics and superior ergonometry, perceived recoil and practical accuracy are comparable to much larger guns. The P-11 is especially suited for plainclothes police officers or as a secondary weapon for military personnel. From the very beginning of the design and development, computers have been used exclusively. All machined components are also made on modern high speed computerized equipment. Equally advanced quality control equipment and test procedures ensure a firearm with uncompromising quality in materials and workmanship.

The P-11 has six main component groups: barrel, slide, frame, firing mechanism, grip, and magazine.
The barrel is made of SAE 4140 Ordnance steel heat treated to 47 HRC. The slide is also 4140 steel, and contains the firing pin and the extractor. The rectangular frame is machined from solid 7075-T6 aluminum and houses the firing mechanism.

The trigger connects via a transfer bar to the hammer. The hammer is driven by a novel free floating extension spring. The light weight firing pin transmits the energy of the hammer to ignite the primer. The functioning of the mechanism surpasses all applicable SAAMI safety standards.

The grip is made of the ultra high impact polymer DuPont ST-8018. The grip also forms the magazine well and the trigger guard.

Normally supplied with a 10-round double column all steel magazine, the P-11 will also accept standard S&W large capacity clips. To improve the handling with S&W magazines we recommend using our slip on magazine extension.

4 Comments
Mood: shady