| bummer...i got dumped, lied to, and then found out the truth. i dont like going out with anyone during the summer, but i really liked this guy so i went out with him. before he asked me out, he wanted to make sure i liked him enough to go out with him for more than just a week or so, and i told him id definitely go out with him longer. but he breaks up with me after six days...and tells me he "doesnt want a girlfriend right now." two days later (today) i hear through the grapevine that he has a new girlfriend. what a good liar he is... |
| uuh my best friend who i thought was a best friend isnt a best friend. shes just there. she betrayed me. and she knows it. i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs which i practically did. but let me start my story at the beginning. no need to comfuse you already. the other night [[she]] spent the night. and her little boyfriendish guy decided hed stop by to visit at 1AM. my dad found him sitting on our porch. i didnt know he was coming. im sure she did. so i had a little panic attack that took 2 hours to calm down from. no sorry or anything of the sort. and now shes at his party. with only one other girl. and a group of guys rolling joints. how fun. i was disinvited and they both think its okay for him to come see her at my house. no consideration for how much it could do to me. and thats why my best friend is not really a best friend. shes really a selfish betraying nothing. leaving me completely friendless. which is another story. apparently i narced out a party i was at. not entirely true, but thats what i get stuck with. a big bold label NARC. leaving me friendless. so thats that in a nutshell. and im not proud of the little baby fit i through over it. but its all i could do to keep from losing it. or maybe i lost it... |
|
nothing really to say today. its still the morning. but i went to a really cool antique garage sale and bought a big goose made it of concrete. its heavy, and now it lives in my backyard. i named it ripoff. self explanatory; concrete goose=$25. but anyways im gonna fill out this stupid thing that im posting below. enjoy... IAM:betrayed, lost, and hurt I WILL ALWAYS:stay hopeful I MISS: eric I CRAVE: seeing him I WORRY: that i have no real friends I REGRET: becoming friends with her I AM SLIGHTLY: depressed I DANCE: stupid I SING: in the shower. a lot. I CANT STAND: missing him I LOST: my "best friend" I LIKE: Hawthorne Heights I LISTEN: to my heartbeat I CAN BE FOUND: drifting away into thought I NEED:to see him I KNOW THAT: it will never happen I HOPE: ill mkae friends this year I WANT:people to like me I AM ALWAYS: daydreaming I CRY: myself to sleep I FELL: for the cute letter I WILL: make things work out I WONT: stop trying to talk to you I COULD: look to the future I WOULD: die to see you I DIDNT: want it to end I LOOK: at my scars I HEAR: music playing I HURT: enough to want to be gone I HATE: all the poeple im stuck with I FEAR: loneliness I FEEL: crushed I CARE: about nothing I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO:forget I WRITE: in my diary I LEARN: truths I WILL BE: thinking of him always I SAY: very little I DONT THINK: im anything to him I LOVE TO: take pictures I BELIEVE: in love I NEVER: want to go back to them |
|
you tell me; fun or not. three days in sacramento. during a heat wave of 114 degrees. but with a 55 degree river. and class 3 rapids. in a rubber boat. mosquito bites. no makeup. not enough blankets. BUT all you can drink lemonade. volleyball courts. cameras. hmm...i think it was fun. on the way home, we saw a semi truck full of pigs. panting. it was 116 degrees. of course, they dont care becase the pigs are being sent to the slaughterhouse and will die anyways. im going vegitarian. and i threw my bottle of water on them so they could have one last drink. harsh... today i went to the thrift store and bought new shirts. so heres descriptions... 1. girrafes/elephants/leaves/tigers. made into a halter. 2. spiderman 3. power rangers 4. blue polka dots turtleneck. in the process of becoming a halter. 5. white turtleneck with confettieish speckles. also in the process of becoming a halter. |
| uuh...im so over this. my "best friend" (read 2nd blog) is a complete whore. i dont want to hang out with her anymore. i chopped all my hair off. not all but most. everyone thinks im trying to be emo/scene. im not sure. i want to have straight edge friends. i thought the girls i was hanging out with were good. but now they pay people with IDs to buy them cigarettes. i found that out first hand today. im completely lost and dont have anyone. i know im trying too hard to fit in with the scene/emo kids in our town, but its not working. nobody takes me seriously |