cut_here's Aeonity Blog Friend Page

My Friends: mizzxbitch, makeithurt, xmidnightx, perfect110, silentjade
My Blogs Previous Page Next Page

silentjade trying to find the words to say when u awake - Subscribe

ok my subject has nothing to do what im going to write about i just felt like saying that.

im trying to write a song cuz i had a shitty day today. i know what i want to write its all in my head but it just wont get on paper. i really suck at writing. i just do it cuz it helps me feel better when i dont have a good day.

at school everybody was being an asshole. like this guy in my enviromental science class. he said "wow your a genius." in a saracastic way. just cuz i couldnt put the text books up. its cuz im too short and the shelf was like a foot higher than me. curse my asianess. just everybody was being an asshole i cant even name them all. but the weird thing is. is that ally the bitchiest girl was really nice to me. maybe its cuz i let her copy my homework. im not even smart. shes getting a better in that class than me. i have a d and she has an a. i have no idea why. she copies off of me. fucking whore.

why is gicel right about everything. just something i always thought of. i need to take her advice. its just to hard to commit to. its so hard to be nice and respect someones feelings. that what i need to practice on. next time i see gicel i'll give her a big hug.

-jade

1 Comments
Mood: ???????
music: the early november-every nights another story

silentjade i dont love him for his looks i love him for his music Sep 5th, 2005 4:19:31 pm - Subscribe

i was on myspace looking at bright eyes profile and i read all the comments. but on almost all the comments its somebody saying "conor your so hot i would fuck u in a second". i havent seen anyone say that he writes such pretty words or that his lyrics have touched their hearts. sure he's a beautiful man but i would care if he looked like chewbacca. i would still listen to his music. his music has touched my heart. he's the reason i started writing songs. well i wrote songs before i ever heard bright eyes. but ever since when i heard bright eyes for the first time i started trying to write songs that mean something.

i just love conor

-jade

2 Comments
music: bright eyes- landlocked blues

silentjade screw everything i ever said Sep 4th, 2005 12:35:31 am - Subscribe

forget whatever said about love. how love isnt real and its just about sex. and that the only reason why people say it is cuz they think its just the right thing to say. that was before sara. sara opened my eyes. she showed me not to be afraid to get close.

shes the only person that thinks im not a complete dumbass. shes perfect. she never makes me happy. i dont cry as much as i used to. she eased my lonleness. i met her on a chatroom. i know that sounds retarded. but i guess its not uncommon for people like myself. and what makes me love her even more is that she loves bright eyes.

the only problem is, is that she lives in england. and i live in arizona. but she told me that shes moving here next year. she told me that her dad is only letting her move here becuase she promised that she would work for him.

i cant wait for her to get here so i can hold her in my arms. what the fuck is wrong with me i never thought of holding a girl in my arms before.

0 Comments
Mood: in love
music: bright eyes- first day of my life

silentjade i punched a hole through my door Aug 28th, 2005 7:57:02 am - Subscribe

clint came over my house yesterday. everything was going well. until he started to be his annoying self again. like everytime i went out of my room to go to the kitchen or something he would lock the door on me. and the second time he locked the door i got really mad and started punding the door until suddenly my hand went through the door. not completly through but there still is a hole. and i had to cover it up with this stupid sign that clint gave me that says angela's parking.

then later after we went to the movies. we came nback to my house. he wanted to burn another cd. i said sure. but i didnt have anymore blank cd's. he got mad. i told him that it wasnt my fault he used them all up. so he started to go through all my stuff in my room. he was looking for my guitar pics. he said he wants to put them in his binder. but he doesnt even play guitar! i bet he just tells people he plays guitar. he dresses like a skater but he doesnt even skate. i toid him he was a poser and he said if i am i dont care.

hes my best friend but he pisses me off to the point that i punch a hole through my door.

-jade

1 Comments
Mood: annoyed of the gay guy
music: bright eyes-hit the switch

xmidnightx a great day out! Aug 28th, 2005 5:44:06 am - Subscribe

so yesterday charlene and i went to surrey to see matt! it was soo fun! i had missed him soo sooo sooo much! lol! it was excellent seeing him again!

he had such cool friends too! charmaine, she was really cool - loved animals and we were talking about horses for ages! aidan, he was cool! his father lives in newport in CA (i think its newport - something like that) which is uber cool, cos it means he gets to go to the states like all the time! lol! he was also a very animated person and was very funny! then there was james the hippie! lol! he was a dude! lol!
so yea we went shopping in guildford and then sat in some castle grounds for a while, which was fun!

lol!

the family are going to foxton locks today, how boring! lol! i really can't be arsed to walk 3 miles up and down a canal! nevermind! im staying at home and being a lazy biatch!

grr, this is MY computer, charlene thinks she can use it WHENEVER she wants! and install anything she wants! oh and she thinks she can fix it if it fucks up when in truth, i know when it really fucks up so im the only one who actually can sort it out when it dies!
grrrrrrrr!

3 Comments
Mood: tired
music: PJs

silentjade what happened in my life lately Aug 27th, 2005 1:05:22 pm - Subscribe

i've been in school for 2 weeks. its gotten better. a good thing is im not as depressed as i used to be. like the first day of school i was just so depressed cuz i wasnt used to the change. not that there was a big diffrence between highschool and middle school.

i have't talked to ming lately. i dont think he wants to talk to me anymore. but i dont think i should talk to him anymore. he brags about his money a lot. and also he was planning to use clint for sex. i dont think i can be friends with a guy that could do that to my best friend in the whole world.

i think ive been losing weight. thats a good thing cuz im tired of being that chubby little filipino girl.

-jade

2 Comments
Mood: queasy
music: bright eyes- take it easy(love nothing)

xmidnightx hwot cwoffee Aug 26th, 2005 3:20:11 am - Subscribe

hello world!
yesterday was a good day!
i went to the castle for a job interveiw and i got it! YAY! i have a training day on the 5th so i guess i will be starting that week or the week after that at least!
i ordered my new mobily! yay! it should arrive, in the post, today!

i hope it comes soon!
today we are going shopping! my mom gave me £150 because i did well in my GCSEs so i am going to spend some of that - i want to get the lockstock box set thingy! and a new school bag and school supplies!

yay, the coffee machine i bought my mom for her birthday makes great coffee!

lol!
been talking to an old friend jack, who i have never actually met up with - just seen around and spoken to him on msn! hes a cool dude! lol!

my cousins are here from ireland again - mary and charlene! yay! as are my auntie and her boyfriend!

tomorrow i go to surrey to see matt! i havent told him about charlene yet! haha! lol! and everyone else is going to stratford (shakespear country)

bella is chasing about like a wild cat! lol! i love it when she is like that! hehe! she is CRAZY! and shes getting on abit!

0 Comments
Mood: jumpy
music: jeans, fat face tee, scarf

xmidnightx GCSE RESULTS Aug 25th, 2005 6:08:58 am - Subscribe

ENGLISH A B
ART A
RE B
MATHS C
SCIENCE C C
BUSINESS C
ICT C
HISTORY C

kinda dissapointing - i wish i could have gotten a few more As and Bs - i should have gotten Bs in science and ICT at least! nevermind
i am really glad i got a C in maths - I PASSED! lol! and i am really glad i got an A in art - i will take it for A.S next year!

0 Comments
Mood: marvelous

silentjade what the hell Aug 23rd, 2005 10:41:12 pm - Subscribe

today ive been saying to myself what the hell alot. ok me and chad were walking down to my locker and then allison the girl farted on me last year comes up to me and hugs me and she tells me that its her birthday in my head i was like what the hell this skank just hugged me. she probably just wants everybody to tell her happy b-day. well to make her happy i said "happy birthday allison". i said it in the fakest possible way that anybody can say happy birthday. and i had the fake smile on my face like all the other girls in my grade have when they talk to me.

then the other time i said what the hell is when chad told me that diana makes gabby spy on our conversations. i bet she thinks i'm going to steal him away from her. which is absolutly not true. first of all hes a guy. and also he has crunchy hair. hes just a friend. a very weird friend thats likes to talk about oral alot. that made me say what the hell. thai just have zero intrest in that kid.

-jade

1 Comments
Mood: what the hell
music: dashboard confessional-remember to breath

xmidnightx blind inspiration Aug 22nd, 2005 4:29:12 am - Subscribe

i was passing an art gallery about a week ago and i saw a painting of a city, i think it was new york, im not quite sure though, it was a week ago! but this painting fascinated me, it was monochrome, and had been painted from indoors. this was very obvious because the painting was framed by a roller blind and walls. the blind only covered maybe less than a third of the painting and the walls only acted as a thin border around the painting.
i was entranced in this painting.

i was sitting in my bed when i was on holiday one morning and the blind was half down. i grabbed my camera. i had been inspired by the city scene intercepted by a blind!

this clearly isn't as good as the one in the gallery on cank street but i thought i would share it anyway - it took me ages to get the oositioning right as there were cars parked outside of the front patio!

0 Comments
Mood: inspired
music: winnie the pooh PJs

silentjade jeremy is right Aug 22nd, 2005 12:10:19 am - Subscribe

jeremy is so right im really fucked up.cuz i told him that the number 1 reason i dont want to be with rayne anymore is cuz shes fat and wears axe. but also i dont want to be with her cuz she isnt fun to talk to. gillian is the opposite of rayne. she so fun to talk to. i've never met a girl like her. wow i sound really retarded talking so highly of her.

i've been really shallow lately. but isnt that how all teens r like. cuz i used to like girls for there personlity. but now its all like "wow she hot i want to fuck her" why am i acting like this. but ive noticed ever since gillian told me she doesnt like me back. ive been like this. she has no idea how much that hurt me. i called a bitch and that i didnt really care if she didnt like me or not so that she wouldnt know how much it hurt me. i need to move on anyways. i should just try to be with rayne even if she is fat and wears axe.

-jade

0 Comments
Mood: i dont know
music: david pajo- unity

xmidnightx holiday snaps Aug 21st, 2005 11:08:34 am - Subscribe

i have just come back from my holiday and i thought i would share my holiday snaps with you - most of them are stylised and none of them are really "family holiday" photos as i was in charge of the photography! some might seem bizarre so i will tell you the stories behind them in due course!

well this one is a funny one!
fake burberry, i had to dress up as a chav! so i made my momma take a photo of me looking propa blinging innit!

this is the stunning el correz and i.
i went on a pony trek as there was one relatively nearby and this is me on the stallion that i rode. i know i know, i look stoopid but the sun was in my face! and i was riding in jeans because my momma couldn't find my chaps! grr! but isn't he gorgeous!

p.s - do you like my boots? can you tell i love stars (i have stars on my shirt and doc martens!)

this was taken at a cafe we sat at that i thought was nice. i saw the veiw and fancied a picture of it - it was very much a spur of the moment thing and i have no idea why i took the picture in the first place! however, i am VERY pleased with it, it looks really cool how the umbrella hoods the top of the picture ect. i like it!

this was a waterfall falling over a hotel! if you look carefully you will see the pool on the top of the roof, which covers a path that walks through the waterfall! it was cool!

this was the pool on our apartment complex that we were home to for the first 3 days of our holiday. unfortunately, apartment no 2 didn't have its own pool so we made sure we used this one lots before we left

one evening we went to play crazy golf [and if you are reading this dunc - I LIKE CRAZY GOLF unlike regular golf which is boring and sucks] and there were starfish things everywhere - so being who i am, i couldn't not take a picture of the stars! i love stars!

this was just a veiw from the top of the hill!

this was the veiw from a restaurant balcony we were sitting at, isn't it nice!

this was the beach which we went to one day it was nice but tooooooooooooo hot!

when we went to play crazy golf, i was the only one to get a hole in one, and i thought i would treasure that moment with a photograph - this is the sucker that gave me a hole in one!

well there are some of my snaps, the others, well the will just take too long to load won't they!

0 Comments
Mood: stable
music: pink cords, studded belt, atticus tee, pink scarf, glarses, bracelet, pink star earings

silentjade havent posted in a while Aug 20th, 2005 1:30:09 pm - Subscribe

ive been pretty busy lately with school and stuff. nothing special happened. erin still doesnt notice me but u know i dont really let that get to me. im not like clinton whos obsessed with the people he likes. i just like them i dont try to figure they live, get my friends to take a picture of the guy, just kidding clint if ur reading this.

i have to go to my moms friends house again. i dont really feel like seeing my filipino friends today.

i also have to go to the denist to get my fillings.

i'll update later on what happenes.

0 Comments
Mood: ...
music: bright eyes- poisen oak

xmidnightx updateios Aug 18th, 2005 11:34:22 am - Subscribe

im missing you!
i haven't blogged for... a while and i am feeling the withdrawal! lol! well anyway - holiday update

peuto rico is nice, a little too comercialized for me but gran canaria seems to be a nice country. went shopping in maspalomas the other day, its all designer so i didn't buy much as it was either not my taste or too expensive! but i did buy a gorgeous star shirt for a suprisingly inexpensive 6 euro! and i got a blue striped shirt for about 25 euro, which was still good!
yesterday i went on a pony trek which was AWESOME! i rode a horse called el colez, he was a palamino and was beau! lol! because i was the only experienced rider, at the end, alexander - the owners son (age 14!!!!! so fucking young to be leading rides!) took me away for a gallop which was cool! even if he was like a mile ahead of me! lol!
today we went to a beach which was mildly boring! now we are just lazing at the apartment so i thought i would nip in here before dinner. we are having pizza tonight i believe...? should be nice i hope! the restaurant is nice!
there are loads of crappy places here you see, so we are eating in all the posh ones, its a bit more expensive but its worth it!
i have bought loads of star jewellery - a necklace and earing set, and a seperate set of earings! lol all pink

its really hot - 34oC i don't know what that is in oF? ill have a peek! about 90 to 100 i think... tooo hot! lol! well nevermind!
i have another 15 mins and i must email duncan whom i am missing sorely! really i am! *sulks*

i have taken lots of photos, which i will grace you with on my return to my regular PC! lol!

have a nice week!

7 DAYS UNTIL JUDGEMENT(RESULTS) DAY!

1 Comments
Mood: too fucking hot!
music: mambo beach shorts, chilli pepper hippie van top, oneill flip flops!

silentjade i love human relation class Aug 16th, 2005 11:59:50 pm - Subscribe

ahhh i love that class for one reason and it starts with an e. erin. shes a junior. shes beautiful and nice. we were talking about music. i told her my favorite band was bright eyes but she never heared of them. so maybe i should burn her a copy. she really likes john mayer i guess hes not that bad i like that song ur body is a wonderland. but i have a felling she one of those girls. like the popular cheerleaders,something like that. im glad she was my partner i got to interveiw. but only thinks of me as the shy little freshmen that sits in front of her in human relations class.

2 Comments
Mood: infatuated
music: bright eyes- first day of my life

silentjade my first day of school Aug 15th, 2005 4:56:11 pm - Subscribe

i hate school already.

in first period i have enviromental science. well ally is in that class. what a fucking bitch. well anyways we had to pick a number from a pile and the number will be where we sit. but with my luck i got seat 10 and ally got seat 11. so i have to sit next. shes so difficult to sit by.

then i have health education, i hate the teacher he reminds me of mr.innone. and thats bad.

then algebra that class sucks too. the teacher seems like a bitch.

but the best part of the day is lunch cuzi can be my loud and obnoxious self.

languge arts is next. that class is good cuz i have friends in that class. taylor and josh.

next human relations. thers like only 2 other freshmens edis and that kid that moved seth. i met this really nice girl erin. but canyways that class sucks too.

then guitar. its good because i like guitar and the guitar teacher seems really cool. theres only 2 other girls in that class.

i have a feeling this year is going to make me severely depressed. and i feel like im going to be so annoyed of everybody. im already annoyed like this kid in my algebra class seems like one of those stupid guys that wont ever shut there mouth. anyways im going to go take a nap cuz im fucking tired. please excuse my bad languge i just had a miserable day at school.

0 Comments
Mood: stoic

silentjade someone kill me school starts tommorow Aug 14th, 2005 9:38:05 pm - Subscribe

back to school tommorow. ill update tommorow.

1 Comments
Mood: undesirable

xmidnightx farewell Aug 13th, 2005 1:19:01 pm - Subscribe

woo, i am sitting in an internet kiosk at birmingham airport waiting for my flight to gran canaria!

yayness! lol!
roger has just bought me madness' new album! i love madness!
hmm i have 5 mins on the computer to kill so i need to make up something to talk about!
jeez this computer has a flashing bit on top of it which is uber annoying!
i can't wait to get to peuta rico! i think my MP3 player is going to run out of battery but nevermind, i still have my book! i was uberly surprised that the bookshop had no books about the most famous serial killer of all time! well nevermind, i think woman in white will keep me occupied sufficently! a jack the ripper book owuld have been interesting though!
well thats two minutes wasted already! lol!
hmm i think i am hungry... hmm i want cookieness!
wooo! anthony won big brother! yay! i wanted him to win! yay! he was a doode!
yes, with oo's in stead of a u! hehe!
well i am going to love you and leave you as i will be boarding a flight shortly!
don't miss me too much, i will update as often as i can!

1 Comments
Mood: spiffy
music: long skirt, blue sweater

xmidnightx Disney Eyes Aug 12th, 2005 6:41:39 am - Subscribe

afew years ago, shiv commented on my eyes. she said i had disney eyes. she said that they were so big, oval and bright that they reminded her of disney characters.
since then, no-one had EVER commented on my eyes.
until yesterday when keiran said "you still have those disney eyes". it was so strange - i had totally forgotten about it...
it was really... undescribable

1 Comments
Mood: reminiscant
music: q\'silver jeans, blue striped poloshirt, converse (black)

xmidnightx updatedness Aug 12th, 2005 5:14:52 am - Subscribe

whoa, i haven't blogged in ages, it makes me feel lost! lol! well heres why!

tuesday

OMG - i met up with friends from school - this is a very abnormal event. sam and i met up and went for a picnic on abbey park! it was really cool!

we were sitting beside the canal with what would have been the abbey's perimeter wall right behind us. the wall has those little cross shaped window things in them. i thought that they had all been filled in with muck over time but it turns out that one of them hadn't and this little kid decided to scare the shit out of us! he shouted something and at first i thought that it was just my paranoia messing up my senses again, then he shouted something again and sam and i looked at eachother, then he shouted again and we realised! it was really scary - i thought my paranoia was returning again!
then we went back into town and met up with claire! we had just walked across from the clock tower (where we met her) and jade screamed at us! she had just spent 3 weeks in cuba - she looked like a bloody african (not that she isn't anywhere - she just looked kinda faded before!) but she was with kantas and hamilton. kantas and i ran at eachother in the road to hug and he picked me up and accidentally bend backwards meaning that he ALMOST dropped me on my head in the middle of a road!!! but it was fun! so we hung out for a bit and then i went babysitting, then when i got home dave and caroline were here.
we sat down for dinner and my phone started ringing - i thought it would have been duncan but ...dun dun dun... it was keiran - my big brother (well he isn't really but he treats me like a sister and looks after me and everything - he is better than all my fuckwit brothers put together - i hate them all for leaving me)! so that was nice to hear from him!

wednesday

wednesday, met up with duncan and then came home to return to a house with an extra body in it! KEIRAN CAME TO VISIT! i was soooooooooooooo excited! i ran from the bus, leaving duncan to walk, and jumped up to hug him! i was so happy. so we talked for ages and then helped them all get ready for my moms bday party in which they all had to dress up as school children! twas a laugh! then we got the taxi with them into town and went to the charlotte to see lacosai again. they were good.
before we went in, we stood on 'our little road'. i was seeing things there though, it scared me. i used to see things alot when i used to get bullied. it still happens, but not as bad as wednesday night. we were standing with a door in veiw. i glanced at it once and it was ajar with someone standing in it - it was a woman in her 20-30s wearing dark but colourful clothes. then i blinked and she had vanished but the door was still open, then i blinked again and the door was shut. now, duncan didn't see any of this and he was looking in that direction the whole time - plus a door and a human would not have moved that fast (if you get me? it was in like a second) then i kept glancing and the door would be ajar, then closed - this is coming from an pretty abandoned building (i think)
then in the charlotte duncan got upset over something i did.
then we got home and hung out for a bit, it was gooooooooood! hehe! then when everyone came home we watched BB - craig got evicted.
stayed up till 3:30 talking and stuff - i hope we didn't keep people awake - i was trying to keep whispering!

thursday

duncan stayed in bed for ages, i pottered around ect - finally got him up with the aid of cold water!

hehe! we went for a walk around the fields again, then went to the services for dinner... woo KFC! hehe! then we hung out for abit - then dave came, then mom got home and he went, then we messed about upstairs for abit - then he went home. jade the slut and her crue were there - great. she thinks she knows me - does she think i am cool or something? i think she is a slut and i really don't like her.
nevermind!

well that is my explanation for not blogging - not enough time on my hands! nevermind!
well i will blog today again, and tomorrow a couple of times and then i am going on holiday to peuta rico (gran canaria) so i doubt there will be an internet cafe about but if there is i will blog as often as possible!

hehe! i miss blogging!

well i hope you have all been well in my absence. take care

0 Comments
Mood: lost
music: a RX Bandits Teeshirt that i use as a nightshirt because it drowns me!