nothingness
Date: Aug 23rd, 2011 4:03:51 pm - Subscribe
there was hope
there was faith
there were dreams
there was love
there was laughter
there was life
but now
there is nothing
except an echo
of what was once there
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y do i need a bloody title?
Date: Jun 16th, 2011 9:04:25 am - Subscribe
Mood: foul
I feel sick to the bone. Ughh! Everything feels wrong with me. Everything sucks! Damn!
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a beautiful dream
Date: Jun 13th, 2011 9:51:09 am - Subscribe
Mood: jolly
I woke up from a beautiful dream when I went to sleep in the afternoon. I thing it was about all the things I missed in my life.
I dream I was bavk in my school, my very first school in my life. I was telling my lil cousin fairy tales, about beauty and the beast, about sleeping beauty..I was trying to tell him that something's that are wrong might not be wrong, somethings that seem bad to us were not really bad. I know it sounds damn confusing. I thing what I meant was when we have to go through hardships in my life because we want something does not mean it is bad, and in the later part I thing I meant not all the people who seem bad are really bad. Their actions are but not them.
After that the bell rang, we used to actually have that in our school back then, I think, Then I went to the teacher's room and there were other teachers I remembered from my past and also my mom. I did the strangest thing- I went and sat on my mom's lap. I remember sitting in the teacher's room when my class was over but I definitely did not use to do THAT. Anyway, then all of a sudden it started raininng, I mean like really pouring. I rushed dow the stairs and into the big open field. It was bigger than I remembered but I loved it- the feeling of rain splashing on my face, the gust of wind blowing over me, the feeling of my clothes being drenched. I used to love getting wet that way un der the rain and I haven't done that in so many years..Then I noticed a group of guys near by, I went to peek if I knew any of them. Suddenly I missed my friends as I realized it wasn't so fun without them. I wish I could find someone I knew. So I headed back to the staircase. That's when I saw a gropu of my old friens, some of them from school, some from college. The first person I noticed was Sanjida, I've known her since my kindergarten, but we weren't ever really that close. But right then I was just so glad to see a familiar face, I screamed her name, rushed to her and engulfed in a hug. And she was also taken back to see me. We started talking about updates in our life and I think I even mentioned a few name of those who weren't in my life anymore, but it didn't seem to matter, except that they were all my friends good or bad and I cared for them. Always will.
When I woke up, I realized I needed that dream. My usual dreams are so cynical, hopeless and miserable that I call them nightmares, but this was different. I remembered how good it felt to be there in my dream. In a way it wasn't really so far fetched at what I usually dream of, it's usually about the things I lost in my life, people I cared for..searching what I'd lost and never finding..but in this dream I found it in the form of Sanjida..a piece of my childhood and boy, did I miss my childhood. All the other parts of that dream makes sense now, how you don't have to worry about being right or wrong, being good or bad when you want something in your childhood days, how you always have your mom as a shelter, a source of your comfort..and last but not the least how you always care for the people who was a part of your life, even if they did things to hurt you. I always thought I'm one of those who doesn't forgive, who tends to hold grudge if someone does anything wrong me. I guess I was wrong. I still miss them in my life, I still wish they were part of my world, my life because once they were, no matter how bad, or how insignificant and without them I just feel like I'm missing a piece of that world, that life..no wonder I always feel like there's so many missing pieces of me. I've lost soo much. I wish they could be found just like in my dream.
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Lost moon
Date: May 26th, 2011 3:09:09 pm - Subscribe
Mood: abandoned
quote:
I was like a lost moon, my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation, that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.-Bella Swan, New Moon.
I know that feeling, where you feel like your whole world has been destroyed and you have nothing left, no where to go to, no place to get away from the pain, no place where you can find the tiniest bit of peace, no place that feels like home. You just feel utterly, hopelessly lost..just going on and on in circles without any destination, without any purpose. without anything whatsoever, except the vast emptiness that is left behind after the destruction.
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Delena
Date: May 5th, 2011 3:32:04 am - Subscribe
Huh. I was trying to embed the video here for so long, and it is really so simple as I only had to copy the code in the embed (share) part underneath the youtube video. Silly me.
I think I mentioned Damon Salvatore to you. I stumbled on this VM on a Delena fandom, and it's just beautiful, the dark prince with her dark princess. And I just love that dancing part, it's got so much similarity to Jack and Rose from Titanic esp when Elena is coming down the stairs and sees Damon instead of Stefan.
And btw I just learnt Ian is actually dating Nina. It's really a shame that these two aren't a couple on screen show or even in the book withe their looks and chemistry and also the storyline. I can't figure out why some of the romance novels has this eternal fidelity thing going on that just because she met and fell in love with Stefan first, she has to be with him even though she has just as much strong feelings for Damon. To me it seems like if you can fall in love with someone else again when you think you're so in love with another person, there is gotta be something wrong with your first relation and with someone like Damon around, Stefan who is supposed to be the main protagonist feels like a sidekick really. It is Damon who is protecting her all the time, doing the responsible stuffs where as Stefan comes off as such a weakling, he can't even protect himself being a vampire and all and it just looks like he is just too afraid to do something wrong to lose Elena, so he doesn't even do anything at all.
I'm going to end this with some of my favorite Damon quotes, both from the book and the show.
Damon to Elena
quote:
If it ever comes down between you and the redhead, I'll gladly let her die. I'll always choose you.
Damon to Stefan
quote:
I don't mind being the bad guy. I’ll make all the life and death decisions, while you’re busy worrying about collateral damage. I’ll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I’ll be the one to keep her alive.
Damon to Elena
quote:
Will you remember? For me? Just that…..I loved once—just once, really, in my whole life. Can you remember that I loved you? That makes my life…..worth…..something.
And I can't figure why Elena would still choose to stay with Stefan.
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promises are made to be broken
Date: Mar 21st, 2011 3:46:45 pm - Subscribe
Mood: lame
...and you promised you wouldn't cry anymore, won't drop another single tear for him, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much you miss him, no matter how much you need him; so much for keeping that promise. you couldn't even make it last for 12hours. i guess promises are made to be broken even if that's one made to your ownself.
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