Date: Jun 26th, 2017 6:16:29 am - Subscribe
Remember when festivals actually used to be fun, and something you used to look forward to?
Well not anymore. Everything is the same except time. Boy does it change things. I hate festivals aka social gatherings. I would rather be on my own than in a room full of wrong people and lately that seems to be the norm everywhere I go. May be mom is right when she says I am a misfit in this world. And guess what? it doesn't even bother me anymore. I don't know how the change in my brain happened. Before in my life I used to think it's all my fault somehow but lately I don't do that anymore. I used to be all like "I ruin everything I love/touch" but now it's changed to "people ruin things" so I'd rather be on my own. I don't pretend. I don't demand. I don't give people false hopes. I don't fake life/feelings/anything. I try to be kind. I try to be polite. I try to forgive. I go out of my way for people who don't even deserve it. So yeah not my problem. I don't know if this new found change in me is healthy or another unhealthy coping mechanism I have developed. /endofrant
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