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Wow! It's been 2 years since I was last on here! This entry is well over due! =0) It comes this time of year when I love to listen to Christmas songs even though Thanksgiving hasn't even past yet. I think it drives Jim crazy, but I can't help. It's almost like an instinct, which I assume is much similar to the motherly instinct a woman has when she has a baby. But I wouldn't know for sure because I haven't reached that point in my life yet, I am simply guessing. Anywho, I love majority of all Christmas music, there are some songs that I just don't care for, but I have to say that above all my absolute favorite Christmas song is Little Drummer Boy! And I especially love the verson by Bob Seger! I don't know what it is about the song, but I can't just hear it once, I have to listen to it over and over and over. Usually if I do that with any other song, I get tired of it and end up hating it later, but not with this song! I guess that means it could be considered my favorite song. I made Jim download it for me so I don't have to wait around for the radio station to play it, and when he was looking for it, he found a video of a house with Christmas lights that turn on and off to the beat of Little Drummer Boy on YouTube! It is amazing and I just wanted to share it with you! I listed the lyrics below so you can sing along if you wish! lol Tis' the season! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S50cf3xIb50 Little Drummer Boy Lyrics Come they told me (ba rum bu bu bum) Our new born king to see (ba rum bu bu bum) Our finest gifts we bring (ba rum bu bu bum) To set before the king (ba rum bu bu bum x3) So to honor Him (ba rum bu bu bum) When we come Little Baby (ba rum bu bu bum) I am a poor boy too (ba rum bu bu bum) I have no gift to bring (ba rum bu bu bum) That's fit to give a king (ba rum bu bu bum) Shall I play for you (ba rum bu bu bum) On my drum Then He nodded (ba rum bu bu bum) The ox and lamb kept time (ba rum bu bu bum) I played my drum for him (ba rum bu bu bum) I played my best for him (ba rum bu bu bum x3) Then he smiled at me (ba rum bu bu bum) Me and my drum |
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So, We are not taking a break, and we are not breaking up, we are however going to separate ourselves a little bit. I'm moving back to my parents house for a while, so that we can distance ourselves for a little while during this time of us figuring things out. This could ultimately end in our breaking up but who knows. I'm not even sure where my heart is in the matter, like what I actually want... So, I'm at my mom's house right now, came here to set up my computer and such since I can't really use it anywhere else right now. It's kind of nice, their internet connection is hella good compared to what mine was. In the time frame of this next week I plan to fully be living here. Yes I will spend a night or two with Cersten but not live with her completely. This could be pretty good, but it will be pretty hard. I'll probably have nights of crying and the such. Here's to a new life. |
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So looks like my odd thoughts and weird assumptions about my relationship going into the shit hole where correct. She wants to take a break? Uh, I cant take a break, if you cant work out problems in the relationship then there is no need to be in a relationship. Why take a break to work them out? I'm not ok with that, Its either I am in or I am out, no in between! So if she wants to stick it out and work through it then good because thats what a relationship is, but if she honestly decides she wants to take a break then no go I'm out, she can't possibly love me as much as she says she does if she is so ready and willing to take a break. And because I am not a happy person? Yeah my last month or so have been really hard so of course I'm not a happy person, I am sorry I cant handle my problems on the inside and be a fake happy person outwardly. Because I am this "negative person" she feels its wearing out on her and she wants to be a fun, outgoing, random, spontaneous, party with friends, and fuck anything that matters girl, in my mind thats not someone I want to be with. I'm an adult and I plan to live a fun responsible life. Its possible, I don't know why she doesn't think so, ugh! Guess love only lasts so long... we'll see where it goes from here. She should be home soon so more talking, deliberating, arguing, and crying... fun! Best part is if it ends I have to move back in with my parents cause I can't afford my own place yet... |
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I totally wanted to write the last entry for much longer than I did I just had to start paying attention in class (yes I was writing when I was suppose to be avidly listening to my college instructor, so what!?) so now that I am out of class, why not keep writing. To expand on the feeling exluded and distant from my other, it just happened again. Before I came here to the library to use the computer I went to see Cersten after class. She works at the scene shop for the schools theatre department so I knew she would be there. We also drove here together so I kinda needed to know where she would be when I get out of my next class that starts 2 hours from now (a hefty amount of time to waste), reasonable reasons to see her right? Just wanted to say hi and ask her when the rehearsal for the show would be done tonight (since she is also props manager for the show run throughs) so we could make our departure a bit easier. First words I get from her is "you shouldn't be here right now" Why? I dont know! I go there every tuesday after class to say hi and catch up with her for a nice 5-10 minutes and none of her coworkers or bosses even care, so uh, whats the problem. I barely get two words in edgewise without her looking away. I had to tell her what I wanted and then say it extremely adamintly before she even started giving me the time of day. Hell I didn't even get a kiss because of her excuse (while blowing up balloons) "my lips tatse like latex" what the fuck is that! (sorry for my language). I don't get it. Anyone with any sort of logical brain would take this sort of thing and say to themselves "what did I do wrong?". I've thought it over quite intensly and I have come to the conclusion that I have done nothing wrong nor anything that could even be closely construed with 'wrong'. Like I said before I really hope this is just and adjusting phase she is going through because I won't care to handle it if its gonna be like this for good. Oh yeah! Of course when I talk to her about the way I feel about this she basically says that she doesn't feel like there is anything wrong with our relationship and that it's going well... I don't get that... UGH! Whatever, really. I will just go on with life right now while focusing on the other things in it that are also important... Wish me luck. -Adam |
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So I actually haven't blogged anywhere is quite some time, and I don't feel like doing it in any other place. If I did on facebook notes I'm sure I would get tons of crap from pretty much all of my friends, or I just wouldn't be able to actually say what I want to say. So here I am on aeonity, not a bad idea. Most of my friends on here are from more than 3 years ago, who cares what they think If I don't even talk to them anymore. Let's not say 'who cares' lets say It's not going to affect any of my social situations. Though, I still have a good feeling this post will be read, or at least looked over. David probably still has me on his friends, maybe not, if so he'll get this and be surprised at the capacity he actually has to create a community that actually has someone coming back to it after a countless amount of days away. So, here I am, deal with it. I really have a lot on my mind lately and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it so It seems like the best choice just to blog it. Sure people can read this but they would have to be looking for it. No big deal. Our house started on fire the other day, it was an electrical fire in the basement. Didn't burn through much of anything before it was put out, but it did create a lot of smoke damage. Guess to much carbon got into the air and a lot of the smoke was from burning plastic so for the next week the house is uninhabitable. Pretty much blows hard, I'm stuck in a hotel room with out any of the luxuries I'm use to. Which honestly, big deal! I should get over it, whats our issue in this world always thinking we deserve so much, we should be happy with what we have. I'm lame for seeing this as such a great inconvenience. So I'm with this girl named Cersten, been living with her for almost a year, and I love her. Though, in the last week or so she has starting going through this awkward (for me) phase. She is trying to find herself and do things for herself because she feels like she has been responsible for others far too much. Which, I understand totally cool! Though I've been extremely neglected as even part of her existence and we are stuck in a hotel together!!! It just doesn't make sense to me. I feel very lonely about it and It's kind of eating me up. This isn't normal since we've been living together for so long, usually getting along and always acknowledging the other person through spending time with them and including each other in our daily lives. I feel like I have to pry for any information or for any attention. I really hope this doesn't last long... I have to get going for now, feels good to get going with some outward-feeling-writing. -Adam |
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So I was sick for about 3 weeks. Typical upper respiratory system cold. No muscle aches or tiredness or headaches. Sore throat went away after I figured out I was getting sick and kept myself hydrated. Would've felt ok except for the stuffiness. Took Sudafed. Towards the end, I was spitting out lots of phlegm. Phlegm did get dark in color then cleared up. The cold hung in there for awhile without changing than in a couple of days it was gone. Approximate duration was 9-28-2008 to 10-17-2008 |
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So bored at work now, so I decided to blog. I am officially 12 weeks pregnant now and I can announce to whole world about it!! keke. It's such a weird feeling that you will be someone's mother in 6 mths' time, and that will last for a whole lifetime! So looking forward to my next gynae check up, want to see how my little one is coping inside my tummy. Suddenly your life starts filling up with child care handbooks, shopping for a right pram, deciding when and where to get helpers etc etc. Though it's a little over-whelming, somehow it seemed to fall into the right places. I am having those emotional mood swings, upset over the slightest issue. My colleague was relenting about how she went into a huge fight with her hubby because of an apple pie. haha.. hilarious as it sounds, it doesn't seemed that funny when you are in it. You also suddenly age like 30 years old, u feel lethargic all the time, became forgetful adn the only good thing that is working well are probably your ears and appetite. I eat heartily from pizza to wanton mee to laksa and char kway tiao, everything's yummy. Love frizzy drinks which I don't drink in the past, love potato as well and bread. This morning I caught one of those dizzy spell and almost fainted in the MRT, I quickly alight at Orchard MRT and sat on the bench for like 15 mins! Broke out in cold sweat and my face was turning pale. Hopefully it doesn't happen again as i might just collapse and hurt my little one. Looking forward for my bundle of joy! |
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My birthday is coming up and I am going to have a big party... but there is one thing that I really hope and wish for... I wish that he would be there to complete my birthday.... TOYO sana you would celebrate it with me and our friends. |
Last Monday I had two biopsies performed - one on my face and one on my back. The results came back today when I had the one, cute, little stitch removed from my face  The face biopsy was normal. The back biopsy was in the medium range for abnormalities. They did another *small* surgery today on my back. Now I have a sideways eye-shaped, stitched-up cut on my back. Argh!! I have to deal with stitches again now :-/ I will get my results back next week and have my stitches removed in two weeks. I'm not worried, it's just a bit of a nuissance because it's in the upper middle of my back where I cannot reach without much trouble. I may have to recruit someone to change my bandage for me. haha My back is itching...an unscratchable itch lol |
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deathcab4u
Goals Sep 17th, 2008 4:29:01 am - Subscribe
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Currently: Quitting Jimmy Johns and beginning at Dominos starting monday. Offer to be assistant manager at Halloween Express with Lauren. As far as money goes making more would be nice but in the long run I think time to devote to personal development, school and volunteering will be more important than paying off all my bills a little faster. Plan A: Within a week of today have requested professional letters of recommendation from 5 people and ask that they have them to me within 2 weeks of request. Within 1 week of receiving the letters have applied to three Wilderness Therapy Schools on the list provided by a friend. Also contact family in Oregon and Utah to explain plans and request hospitality if I am selected and accept a job offer. Also, within a week find information for CPR and First Aid Certifications and get that done within 3 weeks if possible. If invited to go to a training session and hired I will move be moving out of state and must complete obvious preparations for making such a move. Plan B: If not selected for a field instructor position at this time request feedback about what to do to to be hirable for that type of work. Take Action on feedback. In addition volunteer with High School Youth Group and/or Boy Scouts. In January Take EMT courses. In the summer work at a youth summer camp to gain more experience in that area. Re-apply to Wilderness Therapy Schools in the end of the summer. Also currently I must talk to my father about money for current tuition and maybe some money to help with my vehicle registration. Must also cut back discretionary spending. |
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Explains how Aeonity will be releasing a net set of blog templates for community use. We will be releasing an new set of templates later on this evening at 7:00 PM CST. The new templates will look like this one, but with all variaties of colors. Colors include, blue, red, brown, black, to name a few. Note that all other templates will be removed. So if you like the template you have, I would recommend backing it up to a .txt document for future use. See you guy's online later this evening! Another Demo on the New Templates: Jim's Denver Colorado Blog. |
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Writing this down, I felt a rush of emotions swirling. Never have I realised the importance of having your hubby, or your sister or your parents around you when you need or don't need them. I heard the tragic news and it suddenly striked me that whatever happens, having a loved one around is always priceless. Better than money or status. I was drying the laundry yesterday when my hubby came by and helped me out. I felt a sense of warmth but I didn't show it. I guess it's because he's always been so unconcerning, insensitive and unaapreciative. At least this is how I feel about him, but there will be times like these when I know that deep down, he loves me so much. It's these little gestures that he'll make that makes me amazed how picky I am sometimes about the smallest thing in the world that I had to pick a fight with him. He helped me changed the lightbulb, he'll kill the cockroaches and lizards in the house. He'll help washed the dishes, he'll buy tibits for me. He'll pick me up when he can, he'll drop me off when he can. He'll pay for my trip if he can afford, he 'll make an effort to know my family. What will I do if one day God decides to take him away first? I asked myself this question now and then, and it makes me treasure this marriage more than ever. |
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deathcab4u
Rainy Day Sep 4th, 2008 6:46:29 am - Subscribe
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Sometimes I feel like I am a character in a movie. Except... In movies even the guy I play ends up with some sort of resolution. I don't want to be at the end of my story in any sense, but it sure feels like I experience a lot of conflict for so little reward or consolation. On the bright side, Poison Oak Media is kicking off. An idea I had a year ago is finally coming to realization with the help of my best friend. Our combined skills is what the company needed to become something real. I am really excited and am planning on putting a lot of effort into this renewed initiative. I had to call in sick due to anxiety attack again so I figured I'd make good use of my day. I feel like we did well, I got a lot done and am a step closer to doing something I love to survive. |
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deathcab4u
Boop Beep Boop Sep 3rd, 2008 4:18:57 am - Subscribe
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Re-activated my emusic account and got 75 free downloads. I got to pick up some music ive wanted to for awhile now and some new stuff too. I doownloaded music from: Vampire Weekend The Gaslight Anthem Damien Jurado Dr Manhattan Blue Mountain Frightened Rabbit I am a really big fan of Alt Country, stuff like Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Son Volt, Wilco and stuff that has a little twang ya know what I mean? I really enjoy that bluegrassy touch to country. |
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deathcab4u
FAT TIRE Sep 1st, 2008 5:56:54 am - Subscribe
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Another lovely Sunday. I have one day off from work each week and I try to make it the BEST day of the week. Today I went to church and then met with my bro's for bible study. Then we went to the Guitar Center and one of my friends bought a Synth for their band. After that 3 of us went to a little pub in town and had a pint of Fat Tire and some sandwiches, it was fantastic! Always good to have a pint before 20s group bible study. And then another one after bible study? Yes please! SO yeah, after 20s group 8 of us went to a different bar for a pint f Hacker Pshorr and it was a great time. MORAL of the STORY: 2 Pints of Beer, 2 Bible Studies, Church and the best friends you could ask for make up an amazing sunday. I recommend it to anyone who loves the lord and cold beer as much as me! K, well I think I work tomorrow so I'm going to get some sleep and pray to god that I do his will and work wherever he places me. And I might plead like a child for it to be somewhere else sooon lulz. I know that His work needs to be done everywhere in the world, and that this might even be the place I make the connection to my next step of life, that or its just building characer /sigh. |
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deathcab4u
HOLY SMOKES Aug 21st, 2008 7:14:40 am - Subscribe
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WOW WOW WOW I remembered this blog today and GO FIGURE, it still exists. My GUTS SPLATTERED all over a page on the internet! Well I'll be damned, I can't resist the urge to post and to read about myself because i don't know who I am anymore =*( Funny the things we do when we are stressed and tired. Lost and confused. I'd write in a journal but its in the car and I def prefer typing. Also, the feeling that this may be read is comforting in a weird way. YEAH OK. Anyways, 2am and I am guess I should hit the sack and try to keep my cool. ALL I WANT TO DO IS LET OUT A LITTLE STEAM AND RELEASE SOME TENSION! k thx ttyl EDIT: Ok I read some entries from when I was with B. If I learned anything its that spending so much time with a person and obsessing over them is recipe for disaster. YIKES. lol. I will not let that happen again. Personal time > Needy Relationships. |
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You think I am OK?... this is how I really feel for you TOYO.... the truth is Everyday...I try very hard to be strong and try not fall apart but everytime I see you, my heart aches. I feel helpless. I wanted to talk to you atleast, but you feel so far away. I thought I can easily just let it go, but the truth is, I've never let go of the feeling. I just hope that one day you would realize how much I care and love you. My friends say that I should use my head and just go with the flow but how can I? When in my heart is its always been you. It hurts to breathe because every breathe I take proves I can't live without you, I need you TOYO...you're the only one thats missing in my life. I hate to admit that the greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone I can never have.... now everyday i have to endure the reality that I am only loving you from afar. Lying to Myself - Freestyle I, BELIEVED IN YOU WHYD YOU LEAVE WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOUD NEVER LET ME GO ALL I GAVE WAS LOVE WASNT THAT ENOUGH TELL ME THE TRUTH, I NEED TO KNOW REFRAIN I CAN SAY TO MYSELF, THAT I DONT NEED YOU BESIDE ME THAT IVE FINALLY PUT IT ALL BEHIND ME BUT CHORUS ID ONLY BE LYING TO MYSELF AND ID ONLY BE DREAMING OF WHAT, I KNOW WOULD NOT COME TRUE COZ NO MATTER WHAT I DO TO TRY TO THINK IM DOING WELL REALITY IS THAT IM STILL NOT OVER YOU I, GO, EVERYDAY TRYING TO FIND MY WAY DRIFTING INTO THE EMPTY ROADS CRYIN EVERY NIGHT THESE TEARS, SO HARD TO FIGHT WHAT DO I DO, I JUST DONT KNOW REFRAIN I CAN SAY TO MYSELF THAT I NEVER NEEDED YOU, ANYWAY AND AFTER ALL, IVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY (REPEAT CHORUS) BRIDGE I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS NEVER ENDING I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE NOT PRETENDING IT WAS REAL I KNOW MY HEART WILL SOON BE MENDING AND AFTER THE RAIN, THE SUN WILL SOON REVEAL THAT I CHORUS II I HAVE BEEN LYING TO MYSELF AND I, I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD NOT COME TRUE I KNOW AFTER WHAT IM GOING THROUGH I WILL BE DOING WELL AND WHEN THE DAY COMES, I KNOW WHAT ILL SAY IS TRUE THAT REALITY IS IM FINALLY OVER YOU |
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OMG...! where's my comments' bar? anyone from AEONITY can help? I didn't delete any script, but the comments bar's not working.. HELP!! |
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Grab a trash bag, Aeonity is cleaning up the site by removing spamming web users and anonymous referrals. With these past few weeks we have removed approx. 200 or so users that have been linking outside of Aeonity. These users are either trying to sell a product or sell a service. quote: If you notice any of these bad business practices, we would like to know. Simply comment here or email us at aeonity at gmail dot com. We greatly appreciate your help. |
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Sheldon Construction has been installing the sewer in my neighborhood. I'm sure they do an excellent job, but they leave destruction in their wake. Over the span of two weeks, this is what occured: 1. Early one morning Sheldon Const. cut my cable line in two. (The cable company later tried to charge me two service fees because they didn't make good notes on the problem) 2. A few days later, Sheldon Const. hit a water line. When I came home, I had air/mud in my lines for several hours. I probably have some leaks now although I'm not yet aware. 3. A few days after that, Sheldon Const. knocked out the power to eight homes in my area. 4. Two days later nature (NOT Sheldon Const) happened upon my house. I was on my bed when I saw lightning strike my house seven feet away at my window. My phone/internet was knocked out for 2 1/2 days. 5. Five days after the lightning strike, Sheldon visited me again. I came home Thursday night to find my cable line had been ripped off my house! haha Cable came out on the 4th of July and fixed it. I only have one untouched utility: GAS Let's hope nothing happens there...we would not want that 
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