Walmart Funny Jokes & Pranks

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A previous resident of Del Rio Texas now living in the San Antonio. Web designer, SEO, and Graphic Artist.

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Walmart Funny Jokes & Pranks

Aug 24th, 2006 9:01:22 pm - Subscribe
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Funny Jokes and Pranks to do at Walmart

Priscilla emailed this to me this morning, good old pranks and jokes to play at your local Walmart. If any of you guys do any of these, post here and let me know.

Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares......and see what happens.
Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell the other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least...
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Be sure to check out!
www.fattiesatwalmart.com

Tweet this entry | 81 Comments | Post a comment

lilyrach - August 24th, 2006
Makes you wonder if it's a crime to actually do any of those

Probably the worse is to get banned from the store.

david - August 24th, 2006
Nah, you can tell that a Walmart Employee made this list. If its good enough for Walmart Personal, its good enough for Walmart Human Relations.

anonymous - September 03rd, 2006
I like to make use of the store intercom system and announce that a 50 dollar gift card is waiting for "MARIA"
or "LUPE" (get the picture?) at the Customer Service Desk.

anonymous - February 25th, 2007
Go to manager & Scream loudly - "Where would I find Condoms, which is made in America????" coz most u use most from China or asian countries

anonymous - April 17th, 2007
I work for walmart and these pranks waste our time when we could be doing what we were hired to do.
you customers complain that the products you want are out of stock, but they are in process because we have to deal with kids who think it's great to come into the store and see what havoc they can create while there.
our stores are not playgrounds.
Our jobs do not include babysitting the local high school pranksters.

frost - April 18th, 2007
Wow, I never knew that wal-mart employees actually took their jobs so seriously. They must be a 70 year old person who is a long, long time employee of Wal-mart.

Any person with a sense of humor would realize that this is funny, and that will only promote more funny acts to be done. I think I am going to do some of these today because of that statement.

Let's wreak havoc on "serious" Wal-Mart employees!!!

anonymous - May 01st, 2007
HA...Ha im going to walmart ton night so I do them!

anonymous - May 12th, 2007
If you worked retail you too would feel frustrated when a bunch of stuck-up, pimple-faced teen brats came in and destroyed your department while you are frantically trying to straighten it up for the store manager - all the while helping customers who act helpless as soon as they walk in the store. It might seem funny to you but it's a nightmare for people like me.

Working retail has been quite an education. I will never work in the service industry again. I lost all faith in people. People want us to kiss their asses and smile all the while they treat us like we are the scum of the earth and feel they have the right to destroy the store for fun. Hope you guys never fall in hard times and end up working for Walmart or any other retail establishment. You would change your perspective your first day there.

frost - May 14th, 2007
Just my 2 cents, I have had to work in retail, Target, Sears, Subway, Pizza Place and Wendys. I have had a ton of teens come in an do that stuff. I thought it was hillarious because the managers got all pissed. It did not bother me any because if I had to stay later to clean up their mess I either was getting overtime that week or I was getting some time off.

Yes, people are dicks to people who work in retail. My whole perspective on that was if they treat me with respect I will respect them back, if not well my attitude changed.

If I do ever work for a Wal-Mart or retail store again I am sure I will have the same outlook as I do today and as I used to when I did work for them.

The gist of it, lighten up. Its not fun going through life all crabby over what some stupid teenagers did.

anonymous - June 02nd, 2007
Ya, know there are a couple of things wrong with this. I work at a local wal-mart and just wanted to point out a few errors. First off, clocks in housewares are either in plastic or battery operated w/o the battery. Secondly, No such thing as a " code 3". Also no food items may be placed on layaway, and besides that all layaways are becoming extinct, being replaced by "online store pick ups" Another fact.. If anyone were to open a tent and try to set it up they would be booted from the store immediatley. and finnaly, the security cameras are 16-18 ft. above the ground... not suitable for a mirror

anonymous - June 22nd, 2007
I have worked at Walmart for almost 2 years now, and no, I am not 70 years old. Idiot. If you had any idea how hard it was to run a store like this, you wouldn't be such a jack arse for thinking all those pranks are fun. You wanna see fun? Try working as a cashier and seeing just how retarded customers can be. At my breaks, we all go outside and swap stupid customer jokes and stories. Customers never cease to amaze me lol. It's what makes my job so enjoyable. So you keep being the idiot that you are because in truth, YOU are the source of OUR entertainment, not the other way around.

anonymous - September 02nd, 2007
i find it amusing that you get a kick out of the customers being dumb? they arent the ones who work for Wal-mart for minimum wage.

anonymous - September 08th, 2007
me and my friend tried these all and some scared people and some we got in trouble for but we were never banned from the store it was so much fun you should try it

anonymous - October 04th, 2007
Meet ya all in the middle... The condom one works, is not that much of a pain to "clean up" and won't get you in any trouble. Plus heck, stupid people are breading, let hope they take da hint and buy the darn things (and actually use them).

~If idiots grew on trees, this place would be a orchard~
~I saw Elvis! He was sitting next to big foot on the UFO~
~~Come to the dark side. We have cookies~~

anonymous - November 07th, 2007
Customers at Wal Mart ARE typically rather ignorant and helpless it seems...and Wal Mart, surprisingly enough, pays better than many other stores (Gamestop, McDonalds...) I think the people who treat the employees like idiots are themselves idiots, really. I mean, honestly now, not everyone can just snap their fingers and have a good job, people need income and Wal Mart provides it. Get over yourselves, odds are you'll work at a similar place one day, and if not, lucky you.

On the topic of these pranks however, only a few of these are actually plausible to pull off. Mind you they may be funny, but don't wreck the store please. It's really common courtesy, the employees keep the store running for you to buy things.

anonymous - November 09th, 2007
Employees at Wal-Mart are typically ignorant. Obvious?

anonymous - November 30th, 2007
I happened upon this site by accident and theres just one thing i gotta say; shut up! The pranks seem funny but i would have thought they were anoying to the recievers so all of you stop moaning case closed. (btw im 14 and english so this proberbly counts for nothing)

anonymous - January 09th, 2008
Just to remind you that your human also. Those people that shops at walmart are human also, so if your going to call them idiots, that mean you are an idiot as well.

anonymous - January 18th, 2008
ok...you ppl took this WAY too seriously. hardly any of these pranks "wreak havoc" on good ol' walmart (not the best store in the world...they screw their employees and make them think they're all lies) besides the tomato juice which is hilarious. And I will be lodging a complaint to the founders about certain employees call customers ignorant...LOL...get over it ppl!!!!

anonymous - January 29th, 2008
ooh come on. only a loser would have already done that shit...
DAMN! i'm a loser!

anonymous - January 29th, 2008
another one is to find a cordless phone that the employees use to call someone and call random people then send them to another place like costomer service. call yourself if you want to.

anonymous - March 31st, 2008
i just wanted 2 leave a comment cuz i was board

anonymous - April 01st, 2008
omg these are hilerious!!!! i did #11 with my friend shelby

were planning to do the rest on our next trip!!!!! SCORE!!!

anonymous - April 05th, 2008
I have been working for Walmart for 13 yrs now and sometimes we get the dumb customers also. For instance, I am working the fitting room, and the customers asks me where the fitting room is, DA, right in front of you. Or you have your name badge on and they ask you, if you work here. DA. Or you answer the phone, stating you are a 24 hour supercenter and they ask you how long your open DA. But then again there are alot of nice people that come in our store also, just wish the nice was more than the stupid.

anonymous - April 05th, 2008
I always hear people complain about Walmart, then the next day where do you see them----in Walmart

anonymous - April 09th, 2008
okay, to the person who works at walmart, LIGHTEN UP, if you dont like cleaning up after people, then get a new job, its called a sence of humor, seriously, kids are going to do it, and they are going to have fun, yes i no it may get annoying sometimes, but if you dont like it, the quit your job.

anonymous - April 30th, 2008
walmart people, get a real job and a sense of humour JC

anonymous - May 12th, 2008
@ the meat counter: If you can,or when you need to,while you are among other customers, let out an SBD! Qickly rip open some meat product,smell it and throw it back with a loud comment of your own! watch the fun ;-)

anonymous - May 19th, 2008
man be all serious bout ur job all ya want, there is one major reason y ur all workin at wal mart cuz u probably were a stupid motha fucka that didnt do ya job in school. go ta fuckin college instead of cryin over ppl havin a sense of humor. all the ppl in wal mart ne wayz r lazy ass motha fuckas that dnt even worry bout the customers so u can see how much the consumer will kiss ya ass. its called none. cry me a river and build yaself a bridge and get over it. i been in managment for retail for years and i think this is fuggin hilarious to do at wal mart. it would be even funnier to do it @ ur store

anonymous - June 09th, 2008
wow it all started with a list of pranks and it led to a wal-mart employee's life story and the ups and downs of it but really......who cares, if you dont like it stop complaining and get a better job

anonymous - June 13th, 2008
omg i'm sitting at work right now, and i was so bored that i just read every single freakin comment...wow.
yall r kinda immature. but reading everyones comments was actually very entertaining. especially the really mean lets-bash-on-walmart-employees comments.
oooohhh daaaang lol

but honestly, my fav prank is going around and tagging random ppl. lemme tell ya tho, DO NOT TAG THE KIDS!! they will chase u then the parents will catch up w u and lecture u. its super lame and just plain awkward lol.

anonymous - June 20th, 2008
It amazes me how horrible people can be sometimes. Just because you have a job at walmart doesnt mean that you're uneducated, a "tool", or any of those other things that you people want to call us. All you youngsters can listen up: No one wants to work, and no one wants to work at walmart especially. Personally, I go to college and I'm working at walmart so I can get a little money over the summer. It does not make me happy when I have to pickup some garbage from someone stealing something and leaving it in my department. Cleaning up after any of these pranks would not make me happy in the least bit either. I don't come to where you work and slap the broom out your hand, don't come to where I work and make it any more unpleasant/demeaning.

anonymous - July 08th, 2008
You know what? Not all of us are able to go to college to get a better job ok. Now maybe you are the little baby of the family and get whatever you want. But I would rather work in retail then have an attitude like yours. You are nothing but a rude, imature, potty mouthed little boy that needs to grow up. You know what else? If it were not for people in retail then you would not have any underwear, shampoo, toilet paper or forms of birth control which your parents should have used when having sex so many years ago. You must have really STUPID parents if you think the way you do about this subject. I hope that one day you are stranded on the side of the road ( if you do, or ever able to operate a motor vehicle) and I stop to see if I could help you and tell you that you are NOT able to use my cell phone that the retailer that I work so hard for helped me pay for is not for your use and that you can stay here for the next few days and go hungry and dirty. then the day that you are saved you will be in MY store buying basics. So who is the loser now there buddy?

anonymous - July 29th, 2008
I work at Walmart, i think this list is hilarious it will probably make some people mad but who cares they get pay, pss assoc just remember stupid or not customers
make your paycheck possible...I Shop at target best Quality products

anonymous - September 04th, 2008
i worked at jc penney for 4 years...and i gave up on customer service jobs...customers would destroy in 3 seconds lookin for a pair of pants that they dont even end up buying what cost me 4 hours to put tidy and clean...fuck store jobs

anonymous - September 21st, 2008
よく練られた。

anonymous - September 24th, 2008
よかった。

anonymous - October 15th, 2008
Have anyone noticed is that the ruder the person is, the more the spelling is worse?

anonymous - October 18th, 2008
ok being an employee of walmart i would have to say this is hilarious it makes us cashiers laugh and it lightens us up the one thing we have a problem with is the rude customers that start freaking out on us for going to slow or for talking while we work some of us arent that fast and others just have to something else while they work but other than that harmless pranks are fun i even did them before i was an employee and i will continue to do them afterwords

anonymous - October 26th, 2008
Ahah.
Wow, okay first off you Wal-Mart employees really need to lighten up... honestly, teenagers (me being one) are going to do that, and you most likely did when you were our age too so cut the crap and stop trying to be noble. If all you're going to do is complain about your job then go get a new one, or something.
To the silly person saying they swap stories on their break, THAT'S ignorant. Hopefully one day a cutomer will catch you and report you and then you'll all go career (if you can call working at Wal-Mart, which employs child labour, a career) -less for the rest of your lives :]
So, I hope everyone has a nice day, and I am totally going to go and do some of that with my friends next time I'm at Wal-Mart or in the mall with them >:]

anonymous - October 29th, 2008
This is Hilarious, a little mean, but funny... I may do one or 2 things, but nothing to ruin the store, it is just as fun to read them as do them

anonymous - November 15th, 2008
I have worked for Wal-mart for 9 1/2 years now. I have to admit, some of those were pretty funny. However, to those of you who say, "Teenagers are going to do that, you most likely did them when you were our age." Well, I for one had a mom that taught me the meaning of respect. I was NEVER allowed to act like kids do these days and to be honest, I'm glad I was privileged to be raised the RIGHT WAY!!!!! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you......God Bless

anonymous - November 15th, 2008
Look I work at Wal-Mart and still think these things are funny. yes it can be hard to work in retail but it can be alot of fun too. I joke around with the customers while still getting my job done. the managers think its great! they are human and realize not everything is going to be perfect and besides the customers come first and why not they make our paychecks. So come on fellow Wal-mart workers and lighten up and have some fun at work!!!!

anonymous - December 02nd, 2008
hey...trample freaks...when you treat human beings like pankcake batter...that shit is gonna come right back on ya.....Karma is a bitch..and now you are too!!!

anonymous - December 21st, 2008
Not all the customers at Wal-Mart are horrible people.. Some of them are very respectful and polite.. Then there comes all the assholes who f*** up everyone's day because they can't read and they can't comprehend anything.. There are some employees that are going to be crabby no matter what but most actually try to keep a positive atitude.. it's the assholes, like the ones that would actually pull pranks like these, that f*** up our whole shift.. Oh and Wal-Mart actually pays really well.. Way above minimum wage and offers great health benefits and programs for profit sharing, stock, and 401k

anonymous - December 22nd, 2008
Ok, I would like to say a few things on this topic,, i have commented before about 2 years ago, and happend to see this again.. I have now worked at walmart for 3 years, I make about 12.00 per hour, I work full time and go to college full time. for anyone who thinks that you have to be stupid for retarded to work at walmart, you are wrong. I hated the idea of walmart, but they have provided me with money for school, discounts on my brand new crew cab f150. im not a manager, I work in produce as a sales associate. Among the everyday insotre discounts, walmart also offers stock purchasing options which enable all full time associates to purchase stock at half price, discounts on cars, houses, and many sporting events, movies, and many more very cool tihngs. Walmart is really not that bad of a place, and for anyone who actually searched up this site, you are either a walmart associate or a lonely, no life, loser whose ass is broke. now have a great day.

anonymous - December 22nd, 2008
grannysman
to12.22.anonymous
lighten up......you just show us oldies that the walmart
brainwashing does work. It iisa playground for maria and lupes offspring, they get under my feet worse than puppies in a kennel. Hope you can have a merry christmas with that attitude you got.

anonymous - December 29th, 2008
hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! luv it im going to try one out.

anonymous - December 30th, 2008
Holy crap, people are STILL going on about this!
People, you all need to lighten up. Honestly, pranks like these are GOING to happen, even ADULTS might find these funny and do some, trust me I know some adults who would think this would be a ton of fun and do it, not saying they're mature though...
Yes Wal-Mart might be a "wonderful" place to work with all your benefits and whatever else you're spewing up there. But they employ child labor, it's a well known fact. And don't even try to say they don't because they do. I would never want to work at Wal-Mart, but I have to admit if it was a choice of Wal-Mart and a fastfood restaurant I'd have to pick Wal-Mart.
To 12.22.Anonymous: Holy crap woman... or man, have some restraint. It's lovely you feel so strongly about your work place but is your attitude really nessicary? I assure you I am neither a "Wal_mart associate, or a lonely, no life, loser whose ass is broke". I have a job, and a life, and I go to school, and I have tons of friends! I'm neither of those things so stop assuming! A friend sent this to me, and I'm pretty sure she was just bored so she was looking around this site. I'm sure she didnt go looking for pranks to do at Wal-Mart on purpose, thanks.
Anyway, I really do hope everyone has had a wonderful Christmas/Hanaka/Kwanza and a happy New Year!

-- Britt :]

anonymous - December 31st, 2008
WOW BUNCH OF IDIOTS

anonymous - December 31st, 2008
I work at walmart and they beat my ass on a regular basis
When I see kids pulling pranks. I bust them and also grab some merchandise and say they were stealing it. Guess what they are no longer allowed in my walmart!!!!!!!

anonymous - January 11th, 2009
i read this whole list and, ok i understand sticking up for yourself but insulting some one's parents who really have nothing to do with this is just sick and rude so whoever it is that said someone must have stupid parents or whatever seriously needs to get a life. also, it's walmart, big deal, you don't have to act like you have a stick shoved up your a** when people get offended when you insult their jobs. it goes both ways.

anonymous - February 03rd, 2009
I work at walmart there is no code 3 and there is no lay away dumbasses

anonymous - March 24th, 2009
You dumb asses talking made my night

anonymous - March 26th, 2009
I think its funny!! alot of businesses are laying people off and look who is still standing..........Walmart! Alot of you who work for walmart should be thankful for that and if you don't work for walmart then I hope you have job security where ever you work. As far as the pranks, I work at walmart and YES I am a supervisor and I think these are pretty funny! that doesn't mean I'm gonna try them! I also have encountered a few pranks being played in my 6 or more years at walmart but that just gives me something to laugh about. for instance> call walmart and tell the manager that you are suing because you bought a package of condoms and now your girlfriend/ wife is pregnant and so you need walmart to pay child support! You can't take everything seriously or life will be boring! AS FAR AS THE TALKING ABOUT CUSTOMERS WHILE ON BREAK, IT IS NO DIFFERENT THAN YOU ALL SITTING HERE BASHING WALMART STORES WHEN YOU PROBABLY HAVE NEVER WORKED THERE AND REALLY HAVE NO CLUE! can't we all just get along

anonymous - March 28th, 2009
Hey there I am a Walmart associate as well and I agree with march 26th down here... As Wal- Mart associates we are safe from this whole economy issue some of us are getting additional bonuses this year because we are the only retail store still makeing money! I feel sorry for people that are getting laid off , I do. But just because Wal- Mart got a stupid bad rap for being slave drivers, doesnt mean our company is bad or our associates are stupid, Well looks like we have come along way huh?!! I have been with the company 5 yrs and I am an Assistant Manager and I have to say I am Proud To be a walmart employee cause I know my job and my family is safe. For those of you Wal-mart bashers well, I guess if you dont like our stores done shop there! Plain and simple!!

anonymous - April 09th, 2009
I THINK ALL OF YOU STUCK UP NO FUN PPL WHO HAVE A PROBLEM WIT THESE JOKES SHOULD JUS GO DO SOMETHING FUN IN LIFE.. I MEAN REALLY YOU GOTTA LIVE FOR THE MOMENT SOME && HAVE FUN NOT WAST YOUR LIFE BITCHIN..<3amber rae

anonymous - April 09th, 2009
personally what I do is find somthing in the store to put down a manikan's pants to resemble an erection.

anonymous - April 28th, 2009
well, if I was a walmart employe I would bust a gut if someone did this to me, whats the point of life if you cant laugh about something

anonymous - May 01st, 2009
someone had read this list to me from their email acct so i decided to look it up myself and ended up reading this entire comment page.
First of all to december 31.08...ur ruining someones life by making it seem like they stole something. it goes on their permanent record. if u didnt want to deal with kids like that then u shoulda found another job! if they are being childish, ur just simply a biatch!
To the employees, you know what your job asks of you...you arent there to just sit around and ring things through the cash...why do u think theres always so many of you ppl!! Get up ur asses from ur smoke breaks and actually do ur job...someone gotta do it.
i also kept reading employees "complaining" that this thing is lieing with the code 3 thing as well as the layaway...HELLO PPL ITS A FRIKKING JOKE...AND THIS JOKE IS FROM 2006!!! back in the day they did have layaway.
lighten up ppl!

anonymous - May 02nd, 2009
Go to wal-mart and do this
Sixty-Eight Fun Things to do in Walmart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this ****, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

59. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

63.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

anonymous - May 10th, 2009
My favorite is to buy a pack of gum and walk through the store asking people if they have any gum. When they say no offer them a piece.

anonymous - May 29th, 2009
LOL too funny. I am retired from the state and working at Walmart now. I am a people person and enjoy 99% of the people I come in contact with at work!! These are funny ideas and when pictured in your head, make you laugh (I hope)! I was pleasantly surprise about Walmart, because I had heard all the propaganda about low wages etc. I have received in this last year over $3,000 in bonus checks this year! That does not include my salary! Actually, I learned long ago that there are "sour" people. I know you know these people on sight!!! Their eyes are mean and cold!!!.........lol....and their mouth points down!!!!!.lol These people you can not please regardless what you do. The rest of us simply have our ups and down and hopefully, respect that in each other. Now look in the mirror......which are you? Life is to short to be grumpy! Enjoy life and have fun in whatever way makes you happy. As long as it does not hurt someone else!!

anonymous - June 02nd, 2009
lol.....lighten up ppl, it's a good laugh >: p

anonymous - June 21st, 2009
It's all in good fun. The bitter Walmart workers need to get over it. Us teenagers are not spoiled little punks or whatever, we're kids trying to have fun so we don't end up bitter like you. It's not to piss you off, it's to give us something to laugh about. If you don't like it so much, then quit.

anonymous - June 26th, 2009
hahaha some of these pranks are HILARIOUS!! For all those Wal-Mart employees who think that these jokes are not funny and immature .. lighten up! if you say that working in retail is hard ... learn to have some fun!!
May 02nd, 2009 - you're ideas are sooooooooo funny!!

i wouldn't do anything to damage the store .. but some of these i am just dying to try out!!

anonymous - June 28th, 2009
Ha ha I did the tomato juice one and the one about filling ur cart will a lot of condoms and walk around the store to c peoples reactions and then leave the cart were a lot of people are. it hilarious!!!!!!!

anonymous - July 02nd, 2009
i cant believe this is still going on after all these years ... fyi - there is no code 3 at walmart, so that one is just dumb

anonymous - July 19th, 2009
I dont know how you can go in a wal-mart. any wal-mart you go in to down here in SC is always filled with asholes. The kind that if it was legal to kill you would. These people go through the store like they own it or they are going to a fire. How about the hillbilly rednecks that park in the middle of an asile and gab about their constipation, wont move and then look at you like you can down another asile. Freakin idiot wal-mart shoppers!!!! Go Target!

anonymous - July 20th, 2009
i am a walmart associate myself, and I DO think these pranks are funny as hell. There is no reason for everyeone to have to be SO SERIOUS.

anonymous - July 23rd, 2009
I wouldn't actually do these things they're just a good laugh.

anonymous - August 14th, 2009
Why not go into a K-Mart, Quik rip, Sears, CVS, Kroger, Publix, Rite Aid, Hallmark, Music Store, Mall, Movies, You parents home, your best friends home, You grandparents home, your Aunts home, your Church and do all These (or some of) things? If your going to be that immature, do it all the way!

anonymous - August 19th, 2009
I also work for big bad Walmart. I have a college degree and own my own business with my husband. I work at Walmart because they pay me $11 an hour to deal with morons. I also get good benefits, stock options and quarterly bonuses. Yeah, some of these pranks are funny, but would you want to have to clean up after them?

And, Anon Oct 26: It's funny that you think it's okay for people to come into a store and play pranks, but you think it's ignorant for the employees to talk about it. If you can't take it don't dish it out.

anonymous - September 24th, 2009
www.fattiesatwalmart.com

anonymous - September 27th, 2009
Soooo many coments.
Also, speaking of walmart... Penis

anonymous - September 30th, 2009
People on both sides should learn to deal with each other. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has em and they all stink. We've all had some annoying customer bug us and we've all had a worker be really rude for asking a simple question they get paid to answer. Try and enjoy the ride while it lasts people.

anonymous - October 05th, 2009
I'm a walmart employie an I som times cry becus of thangs peple do.

anonymous - October 20th, 2009
I work at walmart, and all I can say is to be sure to give the managers and customer servise managers hell. But please, leave us stockmen alone (we might even help you out of trouble). Oh, and instead of "code 3" in housewears, try code brown in sporting goods (shooting situation) or a code green (hostage) anywhere, enjoy.

anonymous - November 02nd, 2009
I love it how those people putting down Walmart employees (and telling them that they are stupid or retarded - and that they'll never go to college) are the the ones who's spelling and grammar are the worst!!

jzsfrkx2 - November 05th, 2009
#1-I don't believe I just read this whole thread.

#2-I've been with WM for a few years now and for the most part, enjoy it. Most of my customers are awesome and I know my regulars. I also know our regular *pains in the neck.* It gives us something to laugh at knowing that *this, too, will pass.*

#3-This list is just a fun conglomeration of things that everyone would love to try sometime, however, most of us have the self-control to enjoy it from our imagination. The others, well....simply consider the source. Have a blessed day everyone! ;-)

#4-For your viewing pleasure (or disgust!) go to www.peopleofwalmart.com My coworkers, managers, family, friends, and I have a great time keeping up with this website! They have a facebook fan page, too! :-P

anonymous - November 19th, 2009
Haha, seriously? #1 for the people who work there, dont complain. You were a teenager once too, and you know you had fun pullin pranks. #2...still for walmart employees, if you cant handle a little humor, get another job. Or better yet a better education. YOU made the decision to work there, and you cant expect it to be perfect! Soooo GUESS WHAT?! Im goin to walmart tonight, im gonna dress up your frozen turkeys, im gonna spread the joy of condoms, im gonna rearrange all of your cds, im gonna make a random announcement on the intercom, im gonna eat a bag of chips through the store and pay for an empty bag....and i think ill pay for that and all my other stuff in pennies(: How does that sound? Your job is to keep walmart clean and tidy, and if you constantly clean it, itsnever dirty...thats where we help you. I know at my work i hate sittin around with nothing to do! So im gonna help you out. Im gonna give you lots to do. Heyy heres another thought...i think im gonna go pick out some hair dye....swich things up a bit(:
Well okay bye!

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